Well, after a dormant year in 2007, I'm going to try and make a comeback here in 2008 with reviews. For those who don't know, I used to be pretty good at them and I used to cover everything. Well, most of 06 and all of 07 threw that out the window! I haven't done in a review in literally over a year, but now, I have about four half-written up so it seems like it's a go for me right now. I'm going to try to review everything this year, but with me working so much and other obligations, I just might have to cut some out. I'm also going to make some changes to the way I review things as before, I was just far too in-depth. It was ridiculous for those who never read them before. I am going to keep the star wrestler feature for the matches; I think it's unique and I used to get some good feedback on it. I am going to start doing match quality though and rate a match on a seven-ish scale of poor, very bad, bad, average, good, very good, and great. I'm not going to do star ratings for two reasons: one, everyone else does them so why read my reviews and two, star ratings for TV matches is ridiculous and star ratings in general with me change so much and there's not that much difference in a **** and **** 1/4 match in my eyes so I think I can avoid the headache I'll get from people e-mailing me bitching over it. This will probably make my reviews equal the old ones in length, but not in in-depth and wordiness (I've never got a confirmation if that's a word or not). Anyway, enough talking, let's get some reviewing on...
This ECW was taped in my hometown of Richmond, VA along with SmackDown. I did not attend it and to be honest, I'm not really torn about it. I had a chance to win free tickets at a burrito bar downtown, but after getting there, I found out I might have to wait all day just to get some tickets. No way in hell I was doing that! The thing with WWE TV shows is that they're so hit and miss a lot of times, even during WWE's hot streaks, that I really see no need to go. My friend who did get free tickets and went pretty much confirmed all my doubts about going. Yeah, the tickets were free, but in the end, you could watch it on TV for free, save the gas money, and save the headache from watching some dumb stuff live. Well, let's see if I made the right choice by not hanging out at a burrito bar all day...
Neat little video package played reminding us what happened two weeks ago with MVP and Punk followed by Chavo and Punk. Basically, MVP made Punk his bitch and got DQed and then Chavo made him his bitch, the latter being completely random and nonsensical. I love Chavo Guerrero, but come on - this was probably the most random run-in possible since he got put out by Rey Mysterio, someone who has nothing to do with Punk. ECW intro video started up after this and I'm already wondering why I'm watching ECW. Not a good sign.
Well, at least they started it up right by giving Chavo promo-time to explain the random beat-down. Estrada introduced him and Chavo came out wearing like a cut-up mumu that said Warrior. I like the idea of him possibly getting a Latino Warrior gimmick since Guerrero means warrior, but that mumu made him look like a latino Kip James who just lost a eating-contest. Chavo talked a bit and reminded me why he didn't talk back in Los Guerreros much. His whole basis for hating Punk it seems was that while he was out (and he even said, injured by Rey Mysterio which implies to me you feud with him, not CM Punk), he kept hearing them call Punk the future of the WWE and it made him sick. Why? Does he not think Punk is good? Did he used to be call the future of WWE? No idea. Punk then interrupted him to a monstrous ovation and got into the ring looking like, no lie, he dwarfed Chavo in terms of height and muscle mass. Dwarfed, from my perspective. He backed up my misgivings on the storyline basically confirming that they have nothing for either man. Chavo then proceeded to mess around the mike saying that Punk, a relative rookie who's dominated WWE's distant third-brand, is a stepping stone. Let that sink in there for a second. Chavo even boasted that he was a world champion. Chavo, Chavo, Chavo - you're making it hard for me to keep liking you. Punk brought the promo fire following this and told Chavo to bring it. Estrada, who was dwarfing Chavo as well, then told Chavo he had to earn a title shot by beating Punk in a non-title match tonight. Isn't Estrada a heel general manager? Shouldn't he be screwing over Punk and rewarding Chavo for nothing? This whole thing begs for me to poke holes in it and it's sad because I'm looking forward to their match.
Commercial break number one thoughts: seriously, what the hell is going on with the storyline there? Am I the only not getting it? Please let me know!
John Morrison, The Miz, & Layla Vs. Jimmy Wang Yang, Shannon Moore, & Kelly
Is it bad I've already forgotten that Layla won the Diva Search? Anyway, Layla and Kelly started it up and surprisingly didn't suck. Morrison got in, took out the men, and tried to take out Kelly, but got bitch-slapped. Moore came off from the top rope with a crossbody for a pin which makes me think they're competing under Dragon Gate rules. Dragon Gate rules in WWECW? Yeah, moving on. Moore then became the face-in-peril and the heels worked over him for some time, actually well with some decent pops. Besides a good slingshot double-team move, they didn't do much in terms of impressive spots, but they got surprisingly over for an ECW match so it made the beat-down work. Moore then hit a neckbreaker for the hope spot and got to Yang, who hadn't even been in the match yet. Yang exploded to a good pop and got in all his spots before all hell broke loose with everyone coming out. They did the kiss spot with Yang and Layla after Layla tried to beat up Yang like she was a 1930s cartoon character. Layla took her out and then Yang took out Miz with his moonsault press for another win.
Winners: Jimmy Wang Yang, Shannon Moore, & Kelly
Match Quality: Average
Not much special, but nothing outright sucked except for a "spear" from Kelly to Layla. It got decent reactions, but I just wasn't getting into it, probably because I hate Miz with an unrelenting passion, especially after he did Matt Sydal's spot again...and worse.
Star Wrestler: Jimmy Wang Yang
Still over and still flying, Yang is still one of the most impressive cruisers in WWE and begs the question as to why they don't just bring back the belt, put it on him, and build it around him? Seriously, he's probably the most over of any cruiser they have right now.
Commercial break number two thoughts: next week we're getting a fifteen minutes of fame match. Now, these used to be where if you lasted or won, you got a title shot; but, now it's apparently an Ironman match in fifteen minutes as the most falls will win. They did kind of the same thing with MNM and I think Holly & Haas that actually wasn't bad for what it was. My question though is why not just do a thirty minute one and get over both teams?
Coming back, Tazz was in the ring with Colin Delaney, the rookie who lost to Shelton Benjamin in his first match. They replayed that footage and then Tazz and Delaney talked a bit. Colin said it was his first match, Tazz said he was nervous, and Delaney's New Year's resolution is to be a WWE Superstar. Tazz dropped the bombshell and out came Big Daddy V to face a terrified rookie.
Big Daddy V Vs. Colin Delaney
Colin gave him two chops that probably hurt as much as a mosquito bite and then it was all downhill from there with a V chop, military press, Samoan drop, and elbow drop for the win. Poor Delaney.
Winner: Big Daddy V
Match Quality: Average
It was a squash; what do you expect? At least they're giving people a reason to care about these squashes now though.
Star Wrestler: Colin Delaney
For being the new Mikey Whipwreck.
Commercial break number three thoughts: not exciting, but not so bad yet and we got Shelton coming up next.
Shelton Benjamin Vs. James Curtis
They showed a promo by Shelton Benjamin which I think will be a YouTube sensation five years from now like Ultimate Warrior's promos. Ok, not that bad. Seriously though, it was just ridiculous and not only does he always look like Koko B. Ware now, he was even sounding like him and doing the facials. Don't be AJ or Kurt, Shelty; don't try to be a comedy character and then impressive in the ring. It's a nail in the coffin. Anyway, Shelton made Curtis his bitch for a while only throwing Curtis a roll-up. Shelton then started to apply rest holds in a squash match with an unknown. Yes, rest holds which set-up a comeback for the crowd...in a squash match with an unknown they have no reason to care about. What the hell, man? Shelton kind of made it up by powerbombing him into the turnbuckle and then hit his inverted bulldog for the win.
Winner: Shelton Benjamin
Match Quality: Bad
For a squash, it lasted a bit too long. Why have rest holds in a squash especially if the crowd isn't into it and they have no reason to care for the guy's comeback? One good spot doesn't make up for a pretty bland squash match when he could have done the kick, the powerbomb, and bulldog quicker. It wasn't bad bad, but for a squash, it lacked a lot of logic.
Star Wrestler: James Curtis
I think he has more brains than to put mundane holds into a squash match. Well, he is the OVW Champ so maybe not. On that note, does anyone remember him from the Teacher's Pets at all?
They then replayed the Chavo beat down again giving the main event and feud some more feeling and we shot to a break real quick before the main event. I'm trying to let this storyline where even the babyface realizes it's a joke go, but it is hard guys.
Commercial break number four thoughts: how is it that ECW, as bad as a show it can get to be at times, can play up a main event for TV in one hour better than TNA can on iMPACT! all year?
CM Punk Vs. Chavo Guerrero
They started it up with Punk having Chavo's number with some quick moves and quick reversals while Chavo weaseled out. The crowd then started to get into Punk's offense letting the story unfold and make sense. I don't know if it's the right match to have since Chavo's unproven and has been out for four months, but it's clicking and the crowd liked it as we headed to the next commercial break.
Commercial break number five thoughts: how much you want to beat that we come back to Chavo being in charge since we don't get to see the end of the first part of the match?
Guess I was wrong as we came back and Punk was still dominating Chavo. It doesn't even feel like a squash or total domination either, rather just Punk having his number. It's been pretty smart thus far as Chavo's gotten in some moves and holds and isn't just taking it all. CM Punk was so over in Richmond too that Chavo gets in two moves, two moves after getting his ass kicked, and a huge CM Punk chant breaks out. Chavo, ever the opportunist, took the moment and finally got his opening working over the leg of Punk. Apparently he jammed that leg earlier in that match which means either I'm blind or they forgot to show us something during the break. Chavo worked over the leg following this pretty damn well too, including a Muta Lock. The crowd got behind Punk again and perfectly, they dangled the hope spot in front of them like the apple with Tantalus. Yeah, comparing Greek mythology to a fickle wrestling crowd - pretty gay. Punk finally got the upper hand with a nice modified head scissors and they did it smart, opting to go for the story of the match and the selling than the crowd going nuts for five seconds. Granted, I thought they'd get a bigger reaction, but the crowd was into the match in my opinion. Eventually, they went home with a pretty hot sequence of Punk reversing the third amigo into Go To Sleep, but Chavo weaseling out and then crossbodying him on the ropes sending both of them to the outside. They started fighting back and forth and fought to make the ten count, eventually having Chavo holding Punk's leg and Punk kicking him with the other & making in the ring to make the ten count for the win. Punk then showed his elation as Chavo showed his surprise & heartache as the show went off the air.
Winner: CM Punk
Match Quality: Very Good
Now, here's where these new match quality ratings get tricky. You could equate very good to the range of *** 1/2 all the way up to **** 1/4. This match wasn't that. What this match was though was a very good TV match. They wrestled a very smart match putting over Punk's dominance as ECW Champ, yet keeping Chavo strong by having him work over Punk for a while differently than most would and getting the crowd into the match. The finish wasn't weak at all in my mind since it kept Punk strong, but also got Chavo over as a threat to Punk. For the first match in the series and setting up the rest of the series, it was a good idea especially since it holds off the title match for a while since there's no way this means Chavo gets a title shot.
Star Wrestler: CM Punk
Chavo's awesome; everyone knows that. But Punk wrestled the first half of the match probably perfectly. He wasn't too dominating with his moves, facials, and he sold for each of Chavo's little holds and moves enough to make it think that Punk wasn't coasting through the match. After two squashes on the match, it was imperative for Punk to dominate the match at first without making it feel like a squash to get over the story of the match, which he did perfectly. Punk was just fantastic here. On PPV with a lot more time, this could have been a really, truly great match.
This was actually a pretty good episode of ECW. They got over Delaney as a new character, continued two title programs, and set-up one of them with a storyline. Granted, that storyline still seems ridiculous, but the match was so good that by the end, I had completely forgotten about it. I wouldn't have gone out of my way to watch this episode, but it was very surprisingly good and even got me excited about the title picture. The best part though is that ECW has always and probably will always be one hour. No matter how bad it gets, it's only one hour which means that most of the times, the bad (like Shelton this week) won't last long and it looks like next week, we might not even get any bad with the fifteen minutes of fame match and some more Chavo-Punk. Do I regret not going? Nah. Punk-Guerrero would have been great to watch live, but I doubt the rest of the show would have been that great live as I heard the dark matches were beyond horrible and boring, not to mention again - I hate Miz.
Well, that's it for the return of "Squared Circle Reviews." Make sure to e-mail me and let me know your thoughts on this review as well as my future reviews. Here's what they look like: iMPACT!, SmackDown, NJPW, NOAH, Final Resolution, and RAW are next on the chopping block. Looking at my work schedule, it might take me a while to catch-up, but I have a lot of downtime this coming weekend and I'm also almost finished the Bret Hart book. I also still have some finishing touches to put on Jericho's book review so that will be out soon. 'Till next time though, this is "Squared Circle Reviews" signing off and hoping you enjoy what you watch, especially if it's two great workers wrestling a smart match.
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