I know this is an old episode of iMPACT! to be reviewing, but I'm getting back into reviewing all the shows and it seems like this one is a good starting point as it's the first iMPACT! after the last PPV. Just bear with me as I go through this one and this week's iMPACT! review will be up soon as well.
The TNA video opened the show up like normally, except I noticed some quick shots of Jeff Hardy's painted up face right before AJ Styles started bouncing up and down. I know not many people will notice it and it's not that big of a deal, but come on TNA. The guy is on RAW now. You don't see WWE having small shots of Christian in their opening packages. Well, that's because they change theirs daily because of how many people are getting injured or being "wellnessed." Right after the TNA video, we saw Homicide and Konnan taking it to Christopher Daniels and throwing him into the announce table while AJ Styles is taking on the other LAX member in the crowd. Daniels was then shown busted open as Konnan got on the mike and asked him how it felt to taste your own blood. He then started to beat down Daniels as well and then we saw Hernandez catch AJ Styles and then toss him onto the ramp like a rag doll. That was a great spot and I just loved the crowd reaction and the way AJ slid down the ramp after it. Who am I kidding? This whole thing was great. They then showed Homicide squeezing the blood (yes, squeezing) out of Daniels' head inside the ring which was set-up as a congratulations for something as there were banners and a cake inside the ring. It continued on with LAX taking it to AJ and Daniels in the ring before Hernandez charged at Daniels with a chair in the corner and Daniels countered it with a kick to the chair to the head. Daniels and AJ then started to mount a comeback and Daniels' face was amazingly brutal which he showed right before hitting a Lou Thesz press onto Hernandez. It didn't last long though as Homicide came from behind with a coat hanger and started choking Daniels out. AJ then hopped on Hernandez to choke him out and as he turned around, Konnan nailed him with a champagne bottle which was supposed to be for the celebration. LAX then continued the onslaught as AJ was now busted open as well, but not nearly as bad as Daniels' face was by this point.
For some reason only God knows, Rhino then ran down to take out LAX and save the babyface Tag Team Champions, but then Monty Brown came out and started to take it to the guy he was just in a war with at Hard Justice and the whole segment started to nosedive. Then, on top of everything, Brother Runt of all people ran out to take it to Monty Brown. Why? God only knows. Abyss then made his way out to meet Runt and then Joe ran out to take it to both Brown and Rhino. Jarrett, who I'm sure booked this segment, came down saying they ruined his celebration, but he demands them to hit the confetti anyway. We saw Joe and Rhino head up the entrance ramp to brawl while Jarrett picked up an intact champagne bottle and started celebrating no matter what was going on. The lights then went out and then came back on and Sting was in the ring of course and he started to manhandle all the heels with his baseball bat. Yep, nothing shits all over a great LAX beat down by then being shut down by a middle-aged guy with a baseball bat. I do admit that I liked when he started to take down Abyss as it took more bat shots than everyone else, but this segment was just dumb by this point. Sting then got on the mike and said they are chanting T-N-A in Orlando. Ok, what did that have to do with anything? What, can you not get over by yourself anymore with a crowd that practically treated you like the messiah at first? God, this is dumb. Sting then said that Jarrett didn't beat him for the title, Christian did. He then said the fans can continue to chant it. Sting then wanted a re-match at Bound For Glory, he will do anything for it, and he wants an answer tonight.
And that was it for the best job of taking an amazing opening segment and turning into one of the worst. My God, this is literally TNA's problem. As soon as one feud gets heat and really good, they need to throw in all the other feuds going on and hope to get a rub off. This was literally like any main event you've ever seen with Jeff Jarrett only there was no match. It was a brawl between two teams who hate each other and for some reason, everyone decided it was a good time to get themselves over. If they had left it as it stood before Rhino came out, it would have been one of the best opening segments I've seen in a while. But no, they just had to parade everyone out because they obviously have beef with the fact that LAX is getting over. This is pathetic. Then, on top of all of this, we find out that it's going to be Sting Vs. Jeff Jarrett at Bound For Glory. Not Samoa Joe Vs. Jeff Jarrett. Not Samoa Joe Vs. Sting. Sting Vs. Jeff Jarrett. I know Jarrett hasn't "accepted" by this point, but it's as obvious as the fact that nobody wants to see Jarrett with the title. How the hell do you mess up something like the Samoa Joe storyline? Seriously, I'm asking you, the reader: how the hell do you mess something like this up? The Samoa Joe title win at BFG was probably one of the easiest & most logical things to book and it literally would have been the best thing for the young company. But no, we have Sting and Jarrett on top again because they want to delude themselves into thinking they drew whatever crowd they get in Detroit. I can't wait to hear people try and defend this crap.
Mike Tenay then hyped up the rest of the show with an interview with Christian Cage, the main event of Samoa Joe Vs. Ron Killings, and an answer from Jeff Jarrett and it was time for a break.
Commercial break number one already has me tired of the bullshit that is TNA. This doesn't bode well for the rest of the show.
They then showed a Hard Justice PPV package and talked about everything that went on. Basically, they just talked about how they had a fire break out, but they still delivered "one of the greatest TNA PPVs ever" because you just got to spin that hype. Hard Justice was lucky to be an average show, and while they did recover well from the fire, I seriously doubt it was the greatest of anything.
Jeremy Borash was then shown outside of Jeff Jarrett's office and he's waiting for Jeff Jarrett's answer to Sting, but then Eric Young hops out wearing a "Don't Fire Eric" T-Shirt. Jeremy and Eric went back and forth for a little bit in a humorous exchange before Young said that Jarrett will have an answer for everyone tonight. The humor then picked up as Young said Jarrett told him to get the hell out and Borash asked to get out of where, to which Young started to freak out as it could mean out of TNA. He then asked if Jarrett could fire him! Oh, no! Young then got upset contemplating this as Borash ended the segment saying they'll have an answer later tonight. If it's an answer on Jarrett's part, I could care less. On Young's part, I can't wait. Sadly, I know it's the first.
Trios Match
Paparazzis & Petey Williams Vs. Chris Sabin, Jay Lethal, & Sonjay Dutt
Of course, the Paparazzis were wearing "Kev" arm-bands and Shelley was still doing the Embasy pose. Why that's funny is because Shelley is apparently done with ROH, but is still going to use their top heel faction symbol as his ring pose. I'd love for him to an interview in TNA trying to explain what it is and means without referencing ROH at all. It was weird as hell seeing Petey Williams still without his normal Team Canada garb and music. Did he really have to change his whole attire and music just because the team broke up? You'd think all he'd have to do is get rid of the shit that says "Team Canada," but oh well. Onto Lethal, Sabin, and Dutt who are paired up any time you get an X Division Trios match going. Other than Shelley, the ring is just filled of people I don't expect TNA to do anything noteworthy with in the next six months. Well, go ahead and throw Shelley into that as well.
This was a pretty bland and nothing match. Devine and Lethal started it out, but Lethal out-wrestled Devine (not with his normal pop though) causing Shelley to hop in, spit into Lethal's face, and then take him out. Sabin then hopped in, but Shelley caught him and held him for Williams to shut him down, but Sabin ducked out and Williams hit Shelley. Dutt then hopped in and Sabin tossed him up in the air sending Dutt to do a dropkick to both. They then trade tope suicidas to the heels which would have been fine had the heels not been staring at the faces for about a minute before hand. In the ring, Hebner jumped in to take it to Johnson who he blames for losing his job and it's time to go to commercial. Pretty much the normal routine of trying a big series of spots with the faces standing on top at the end before the commercial break.
Commercial break number two doesn't leave me with much more hope for the rest of the show truthfully.
As the show came back, Williams and Lethal were in the ring going back and forth before Lethal charged at Williams on the apron and did a slide through. Lethal went to powerbomb Williams off the apron, but Shelley nailed him with the dropkick. Shelley then held Lethal as Williams connected with a leg drop across the apron. We've seen the spot a lot, but it's still a pretty good one. Andrew Thomas replaced Slick Johnson in the ring sometime before the show came back and he was trying to restore order as Shelley tosses a battered Lethal back into the ring. They show a shot at LAX because we just have to get over as many people as possible in a segment before Lethal and Williams were shown trading blows again. Williams had the advantage, but then went for a bulldog which Lethal countered into a backbreaker to make the comeback and hot tag to Sonjay Dutt which, like the mark of any bland tag or trios match, wasn't so hot. Dutt takes out Shelley with a Head Scissors, Devine with a shot, and then he nailed a double clothesline to Shelley and Williams all before hitting Shelley with a spinebuster for two. Everyone then hopped in and Sabin and Lethal take out Williams and Devine with an Irish Whip into the other. They then do an interesting comedy spot where they line them up and pretend to row the boat with their legs, stretching them out in the process, which apparently is a comedy spot from 1970s Lucha Libre. Dutt then hit a head scissors to Shelley in the middle of all that for a big nearfall, I guess. Devine and Sabin was then tagged in and the heels took out all the faces so they could all have their way with the Number One Contender in the ring. Shelley and Williams got their shots in, but then Sabin ducked out of Devine's and the faces came in to take out the heels. The faces then all take turns charging and nailing Devine in the corner which was finished by a big boot to Devine from Sabin in the corner. Sabin then nailed a springboard leg drop to Devine for the win as Dutt held Shelley in the ropes to stop him from making the save. Sounds like a lot happened, but it was really just a mix of bland wrestling with no purpose or meaning highlighted by one comedy spot and the fact that it had Alex Shelley.
Winners: Chris Sabin, Jay Lethal, & Sonjay Dutt
Star Wrestler: Alex Shelley
Who the hell am I going to put here? Sonjay Dutt? Petey Williams? Are you freakin' kidding me? The only thing noteworthy about the match was Alex Shelley and I really am not just trying to hype up someone I love. It really was the only thing going for the match that did nothing for anything.
To further prove that the match had no purpose and management has no plans for any of them, they quickly went to some exclusive footage of Hard Justice after it went off the air leaving the match before as nothing but filler in my mind. They basically showed a recap of the Sting-Jarrett match before showing the exclusive footage which was just Rhino bumping into Christian and asking what did he just do before Christian ran off saying he did it for him and everybody. Yep, that was it. Great exclusive footage there. I see why they felt the need to quickly overshadow the match before it. Afterwards, Tenay and West basically just talked about all the crap going on here between Christian and Sting before airing that exclusive interview with Christian Cage.
Christian talked about how he's heard the "rumors" about how it was part of his master plan and people could see it coming from a mile away. Ok, so by rumors, you mean dirt sheets and internet forums? Christian then said it wasn't true at all and it was a game-time decision. He took us through the match and basically his reasoning was that he did everything he could for Sting and Sting still couldn't win the match so he obviously didn't have the same passion Christian did and it was all Christian in the match. He then said Sting wanted him to stand in his shadow and he's nobody lackey and the biggest thing in the company (obviously not since Jarrett still think he's the bigger "draw"). He then talked about how he, not Sting, was the biggest acquisition to TNA and he brought the national TV deal, the Thursday night deal, and credibility to TNA. He said he's the most recognizable and sought-out face in the locker room. My God, I know heels are supposed to inflate the truth and what-not, but that statement is nowhere near the truth at all. I seriously doubt WWE misses Christian that much and if they had a choice over who to sign, they'd go with Sting any day of the damn week. Even more, I could probably name ten guys in TNA that WWE would rather have than Christian. He then said Sting couldn't be the savior because he just couldn't put down Jarrett and wasn't good enough. See that, that's a lot better. That's a hell of a lot better because it's true to a degree. Christian was able to put down Jarrett at Against All Odds with no help and Sting wasn't able to put down Jarrett here with Christian's help. Christian then talked about how Sting once called him his brother or something and it was a crock of shit. He then said that Rhino is his brother and brothers tend to fight sometimes and when he sits him down and talks to him, he'll understand everything. He then said he's not there this week, but will be there next week. Christian then said that he didn't screw Sting; Sting screwed him because he's the former champ who didn't get a re-match. He said he's undefeated and he agrees with Sting that it's time for a new era in TNA and it's the Christian era and that was it. Pretty much a typical post-turn interview here and nothing of note which really sums up Christian right now. Chirsty Hemme, in her cushy role, then informed of us what we still had to "look forward" to which is Joe-Killings and Jarrett answering Sting. God, this isn't going to get much better.
Commercial break number three still has me pretty much bored out of my mind.
Coming back, Borash was shown bothering AJ Styles and Chrstopher Daniels who were still bloodied as hell. Daniels fired back at Borash asking if Borash wants to know what his blood tastes like and he screams it taste like hell & hatred and he doesn't like it. He then moved on to Konnan saying the son of bitch just had to ask if they wanted another match and they must be real tough to jump them from behind. He then laid out a re-match challenge for the belts and they won't stop until they're all dead. Konnan was then shown at the Spanish announce table saying they wanted the re-match and they got it, but they got it in any type of match they want. Konnan then stated they want a Border Brawl which is no rules, no DQ, and anything goes just like they were raised on the street. He then said that they have a million more matches like the one at the PPV and Daniels & AJ don't have another one. He then does his normal Spanish wrap-up and that was it. The promos left something to be desired here, but it was still a good segment and a better promo than Daniels normally does.
A Bobby Roode video package then played with him claiming he's the hottest free agent in wrestling and people from every sport want to guide his career and everyone is calling him. They then show a montage of him interviewing Simon Diamond, James Mitchell, and Shane Douglas, like they are the creme of the crop since they have so many title runs under their belts here in TNA, right? They basically all say what you would expect them to say and Roode fires back each time saying it's not good enough, he wants more, et cetera. He then ended it all by saying he needs to go to "the box" on this one, whatever that means.
Number One Contendership For The NWA World Tag Team Championship
Chris Harris Vs. Kazarian Vs. Chase Stevens Vs. BG James
Basically, all the "leaders" of the four teams from the match that didn't make it on Hard Justice came out and the winner makes his team the Number One Contender. How LAX are not the Number One Contender after they just got a title shot, I'll never understand, but it's TNA. Anyway, the match was even more of a nothing match than the Trios match before this, but to be fair, this one was a lot shorter. Chase and Kazarian started it off and went back and forth generically until Kazarian hit a nice slingshot DDT to Chase in the ring which Harris broke up. BG then hopped in, nailed Harris, and then hit the Pump Handle Slam on Chase. Harris and Kazarian went back and forth from there before Harris nailed the big spinebuster and then walked into the punching combination by BG. Storm them came out with the beer bottle after Harris had already sent him to the back and Storm tried to nail BG with the beer bottle, but Harris stopped him and put the beer bottle out. Chase Stevens then threw Storm out of the ring and then hit Harris with the handcuffs to pick up the win and title shot. Yep, that was it and frankly, I don't think the PPV match would have been much more.
Winner: Chase Stevens
Star Wrestler: Kazarian
Well, he had the only nice spot in the match so I'll be nice and give it to the guy I normally rag on.
Afterwards, Shane Douglas came out and looked pissed at first at Chase cheating, but then a smile appeared on Shane's face and they celebrated as AMW started to get into a shoving match in the ring with Gail Kim trying to separate them. Storm then flicked off Harris and left as Gail Kim tried to talk some sense into him. I actually dig this storyline because I seriously doubt they will split up AMW for long and I am really hoping that this involves James Storm going to "rehab" for his alcohol problems and him turning face because of it. Of course, if they go that route, there's a fine line between comedy and good TV and being offensive to alcoholics and I really doubt TNA will be able to not offend people with it. Still, one can hope. Of course, it's not TNA without Christy Hemme being pointless so she informed us of Jarrett and Joe-Killings still to come before we head to another break.
Commercial break number four leaves me a little bit better off then before, but still thinking this is a crap show.
Coming back, they show a video pumping up Joe-Killings with Killings saying it's "the Samoan Submission Machine meets the Suntan Superman." Joe then got on and said Killings drew the wrong card as they put him up against the most dangerous and deadly guy. Killings then said Joe's got potential, but he hasn't done what Killings has done. And no, he meant the two runs as NWA Champ, not release a shitty rap song. He then said if Joe doesn't start any shit, there won't be any shit. They then went back and forth some more with Joe asking if Killings is really what he says he is, Killings saying he's going to a new level or something, Joe saying he's the Samoan Submission Machine, and Killings ending it by promising to show Joe what's up. It actually did a good job of pumping me up for Joe-Killings, but it was really just a shoddy attempt of re-creating the Steiner-Joe package. The difference between the two is that Joe and Steiner actually had a reason to hate each other then and were in a feud. Here, we have two guys slopped in the match for the sake of a main event.
Samoa Joe Vs. Ron Killings
This was actually a lot better than I expected, a great effort from Killings, and a better TV main event (or actual match) than anything else on this show or on normal wrestling TV. It started with a face-off leading Joe to pushing Killings off like he was nothing. This, in turn, pissed off Killings who nailed him with a big slap and then a bunch of rights. Joe then fired back as well with a bunch of shots, but Killings hit a double leg takedown and continued to take it to Joe, even pushing the ref aside. The ref eventually pulled Killings off allowing Joe to recover and nail a big Enziguri to The Truth. Killings then nailed a facebuster to the knee and then a straight kick to Joe, sending the Samoan right out of the ring. Finally, before the final commercial break, Killings hit a big Tope con Hilo to Joe on the outside and left the crowd wanting more. This was a pretty damn good opening to a TV match I was dreading.
Commercial break number five has me a little bit more optimistic for once.
After that final break, Joe threw Killings back into the ring, but Killings mounted Joe with ten punches and then whipped him into the other corner, screamed his catchphrase, and then charged at Joe only to get thrown down with the S.T.Joe in the corner. Joe then does his chop, kick, and knee drop combo followed by the punch/chop combo in the corner all before doing the facewash. Joe then locked Killings into a chinlock and stretched him out before Killings came back with some rights and the twisting body vault. Some clotheslines to Joe were hit from there and then Joe hit his huge snap powerslam for a big nearfall. Joe followed it up by going for the armbar, but Killings tried to block it and made it to the ropes for a big pop. Killings then got to his feet and hit a side kick and went for the Axe Kick only for Joe to duck out. Killings then quickly recovered for a very nice reverse suplex for two which was something I definitely didn't expect to see and it was great to see Killings put it all on the line in just a TV match. Killings then went up top and Joe caught him with a kick followed by the Musclebuster to end this good TV main event.
Winner: Samoa Joe
Star Wrestler: Ron Killings
No doubt in my or anyone's mind that Samoa Joe is miles ahead of Killings in everything, but Killings was showing a very good side of himself here in the match. The story here in kayfabe was that Killings is trying to make a name for himself & get back into the title picture and was trying to upset Samoa Joe to do all of this. In the real world, I'd guess Killings, who's been pissed about being mis-used in TNA for a long time, is just trying to show TNA what they're missing as he's on his way out. No matter what though, Killings showed a side of him we don't see often and was still able to keep on some of his more annoying mannerisms & moveset. I really don't like Killings at all, but it's no doubt in my mind who stood out in this match.
To finish up the show, Borash was shown with Jeff Jarrett who had his answer. Jarrett said he thought there was going to be no way he'd accept Sting's offer at the beginning of the show because there was nothing in it for him. He said the definition of a good deal is when it's win-win and both sides get something, but Sting's offer had nothing for him. He had everything to lose and nothing to gain. He then answered Sting's challenge by telling Sting to put up his career and legacy against his title. He said he wanted it in writing in a contract next week that says that if Sting loses, his contract will be up, his merchandise burned, and his bat & face paint will never be seen again. Jarrett then asks for Sting's answer and that was it. Not a bad segment, but exactly what you would expect from Jeff Jarrett. After that, the show ends with the iMPACT! recap video followed by TNA hyping up the big Tag Team Championship match next week. I think the recap videos are a good idea but when you get a dull show like this one, they are basically a better version of the show. Really, I wish I had just watched the recap video and the main event and be done with it. With that, iMPACT! went off the air "sadly" for another week.
Obviously, I wasn't a fan of this week's iMPACT! I do think that until everyone started running it out, it started pretty damn well and it ended pretty damn well with the main event and the decent Jarrett promo setting up next week (as well as them reminding us of the tag title match). Everything else was forgettable. Two matches that I did my best not to fall asleep during, a Christian interview that was pretty much the standard for a post-turn interview, a kind of stupid Bobby Roode video package, TNA over-hyping their PPV again, and a very typical and horrible run-in segment that overshadowed and ruined what may have been the best opening segment of the year outside of Joe-Daniels kicking off the first Thursday iMPACT! Like I said, the show did have some good, but overall, it just fell into typical TNA problems with their booking & show pacing. However, I am a bit more optimistic about next week's show as I think I heard it has Rhino on it, a match guaranteed to be good, and probably not as much bullshit as there was this week. That's a plus, but it's not a plus for TNA to follow up what they said was one of the greatest PPVs ever with a very dull show.
Phew, well that's it for that old review. Sorry for it being a little out-dated, but like I said, I'm starting up again and it was a perfect starting point. Up next will be the Summerslam review followed by WWE RAW from 8/21, ECW TV from 8/22, the Extremely Crazy Wrestling Fans DVD, and the New Jack: Hardcore DVD. In my last review, I said I'd be doing Deep South Wrestling TV from the 20th, but I really could not get through that piece of shit show at all. I kid you not, it was that bad. Watching it, the only thing that saved it was the thought that it just had to be an inside rib of some kind. Anyway, you can check out my recent review of The Wrestlemaniac DVD by clicking here and you can actually check out a bunch of my older reviews of events, books, and games by clicking here if you want to get a better idea of how I review. My new reviews will actually be up on that second link first and I should have those next reviews up soon especially since I basically already did review Summerslam live for my site as it was happening. Well, I'll shut up and get started on Summerslam. 'Till next time fans, this is "Squared Circle Reviews" signing off and hoping you enjoy what you watch, unless it's a one hour TV show being booked for two.
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