Yeah, I know I've been gone and ghastly behind. I'm not going to sit here and promise this and that; rather just tell you that I wanted to get this PPV out because I want to at least review all the PPVs if I can't do weekly. After this, I've got a random Championship Wrestling review to go up because I did it a while ago and didn't want it to go to waste, and then I've got the April 2nd NOAH show as well as WWE WrestleMania 22. From there, I want to try my best to start weekly, but no promises. All I can say is that I'll try. Before I start though, let me shill the two year anniversary of my site, TheWrestlingVoice.com, which is tomorrow and is sure to be a very big deal. There will be a bunch of updated and new content (including these reviews and our popular cartoons) as well as bunch of surprises so don't forget to check it out tomorrow. Enough jibber-jabbering, let's review this damn PPV finally:
A weird, little video opened up the PPV which reminded me of a WWE PPV opener I can't exactly place. I think it was Survivor Series 2001 or maybe No Mercy 2003, but it doesn't really matter. It was a weird video, but I kind of dug it which I think makes me weird by association. Anyway, it was called "Stung" and it had this guy in a Sting look watching a hype-up to the PPV with Ultimate X, the NWA title match, and the Eight Man War being accentuated as he mocked all their mannerisms, which was pretty funny to see as he did a lot of the wrestler's mannerisms in a top hat and black & white video. They then showed clips to highlight Sting's return as Steve Borden (big seller there) and the guy backed up to the wall and fell down in disbelief. He took off the Sting mask and it's our favorite simpleton, Eric Young! Man, he really is everything WWE wishes Eugene was. Just goes to show you that if you get out of the cycle of milking characters and situations, things can work out better than expected. The "welcome to [insert PPV name]" video then played and we went right into a shot of the iMPACT! Zone with chants of TNA filling the arena. You just have to love the TNA crowd; they'll cheer for anything trying to compete with the E at this point. Mike Tenay then hyped up the card and Sting's return as the very weak fireworks went off. I don't see why they even bother to waste money on those things as they'll never be big enough to match WWE's, which is the only reason they're doing it. I'd rather TNA save the money, and I don't know, actually try to make a damn profit?
Grudge Match
Alex Shelley Vs. Jay Lethal
Jeremy Haldeman, who's a moderator on The Wrestling Asylum (cheap plug), always puts "Grudge Match" above matches with no stipulation for probably the same reason I capitalize the abbreviation of "versus:" we think it looks good. I think I'll try out his thing and see if it does in fact look good, and then maybe I'll come closer to being obsessive-compulsive! Before I start on the match, I have to say how much I love the Shelley gimmick, but also how much better it could be portrayed. I love that he comes out with a video tape to tape his own stuff as a play on the fact that he supposedly has this huge video tape library, but I want to see more on the "student of the game" aspect he's trying to get across and less of the voyeuristic gimmick TNA is pushing on him. Don't get me wrong, that provided some hilarious segments, but I think the other one could work out so much better as Shelley could be watching tapes backstage and yelling at people for interrupting, and then we could see him take what he learned in the tape to the ring. For instance, here, we could have seen him watching some Ric Flair tape and then have him come out and do some Flair workrate/psychology. It's really just a thought simply because I don't want Shelley to become a walking joke when they could easily push him to the moon and have it pay off like it would have in ROH had TNA not picked him up.
I thought this was a pretty good match and a very solid opener which had me a little excited for the rest of the night. It started off with some very fluid opening exchanges between Shelley and Lethal, which is mostly because of Shelley, but it's not like Lethal stood out like a sore thumb there. They exchanged holds from there with Shelley's being overly complicated and unique while Lethal's were generic and out of desperation it seemed. About a minute or two into the match, Mike Tenay basically said "f*** this match," and went on a tangent to plug the fact that they have Spanish commentary now. That doesn't piss me off; what does piss me off is for the whole time they plugged this, they put the camera on the Spanish commentary table which had Konnan for money purposes I bet. Shelley could have broken his arm in the ring and we would have completely missed it. Great job, TNA. When the cameras switched back to the ring, they exchanged more holds and then got into a very great and unique submission hold which I can't even explain. It was basically a leg lock that, after moving around a bit, ended up with them standing on their heads while still tied up as they slapped each other for leverage. Very fun spot here and I think it showed Lethal could hang with Shelley's offense. From there, they just set the stage for the ending with Shelley grounding Lethal very well and Lethal busting out high impact moves. He had basically a generic Cruiser offense, but it was really well placed and Shelley sold it overly well here that it came off as actually building to something instead of just messing around. All through the match, I was thinking about how great of a heel Shelley was with his subtle tricks and blatant cockiness and I was about ready to call him the only true heel TNA has, but then they started a dueling chant towards the end and shot that equation all to hell. With a crowd like that, I don't see how TNA can be in disbelief about their TV ratings not transferring over to their PPV buy rates. How in the hell do you expect people to buy a PPV to see a face get revenge on a heel when that heel is getting cheered for beating up the face? It's bogus.
Anyway, the match told a good story about Lethal being grounded by Shelley for his athleticism and every time he got out of a hold, he went right after Shelley with high impact moves. One thing that surprised me in the match was how good of a job West & Tenay were doing on commentary putting over that story, the impressive mat-work of Shelley, and how great of a rookie Lethal was. If it wasn't for the blatant plugging at the beginning of the match (which wasn't exclusive to that one incident sadly), I'd say this was the best commentary on a TNA match in a while. I absolutely love the ending to this match as it really put over Shelley which was good. Lethal was busting out all kinds of work on the neck area of Shelley with suplexes and some high risk movements, but Shelley kept powering out and then hit the Sliced Bread Number 2 (something he picked up in ROH as he took on Bryan Danielson for you out there who don't know) for the win. At first glance, it was kind of dumb to see Lethal get beat clean on PPV after he's been getting such big reactions from the audience and getting some momentum, but if you really look at it, they need someone to feud with the X Champ (hopefully Joe) after this three-way feud is over and they've got no one left with any credibility. Bentley has been squashed beyond belief. Williams hasn't picked up an X Division singles win in forever. It pretty much goes the same way for Sabin & Dutt, who are more thought of as a tag team now. Even Lethal is a pathetic challenger considering he was squashed by AJ Styles, Samoa Joe, Jeff Jarrett, and others in his first few matches with TNA. Hell, his first match in TNA was a quick squash from Joe that saw him get three moves in. Not really a believable challenger there. Shelley, on the other hand, hasn't been killed or built up in the past and with this recent Sting stuff going on, TNA could capitalize with him and give him the ball to run with. I'd say to have Shelley go over on Sting on iMPACT! after interference and then have Shelley break away from Planet Jarrett as he climbs the rank to the X Champ which hopefully would involve a clean singles win over someone like Styles. Knowing TNA though, Shelley will be put into Planet Jarrett and lost in the shuffle though so I'm just getting my hopes up.
Winner: Alex Shelley
Star Wrestler: Alex Shelley
Jay Lethal was good in this match and he hasn't done any less in TNA since appearing, but he's not even near the level that Shelley is on. Shelley and Joe are probably the only real storytellers left in the X Division right about now, with Daniels jumping in and out ever so often. People like Styles, Dutt, Bentley, and Williams just go out there and do moves and then end the match unless they're given a big amount of time; that's not story telling. Even Sabin, who I love, falls into that habit a lot. Shelley, on the other hand, sets the stage even in a freakin' ten minute match and builds towards a hot finish that's going to put someone over no matter what the damn finish is. I only hope they capitalize with this and we get Joe-Shelley, Styles-Shelley, or Daniels-Shelley in the future for some good matches and someone else to get some good matches out of Styles.
Tenay & West then hyped up the upcoming matches like the Eight Man War, Ultimate X, and title match. They then started to talk about Steve Borden, not Sting. Now, the first impression of this is that it's a nice twist to the Sting character that everyone knows and loves; the second is that Sting was brought in to bring in viewers, and which name is going to do that more: Sting or Steve Borden. I really don't know what to think of this, but God damn if those Shelley cam videos weren't hilarious!
They then cut back to Jeremey Borash with Team Canada for the first of probably sixteen backstage interviews when half of them could be cut and the time be given to a match. I guarantee you not one match goes over twenty minutes tonight and I'm fairly sure there will only be one or two going over fifteen. What a joke. Anyway, Roode started it off talking about his match with the Naturals tonight which was made because the latter team believes the Canadians screwed them out of their titles. Roode said they didn't cost them the titles and then D'Amore got on the stick and proved why he's one of the best talkers in TNA. He started off imitating the Naturals whining and then went on to talk about how they didn't get screwed, unlike Canadians; the Naturals just didn't get the job done. He shifted gears and then bitched about Canada being shunned in the World X Cup and said Petey would prove his worth in the four-way tonight. He then continued a promo that most in WWE and TNA couldn't even get near and started talking about Sting a little bit before Shelley hopped in and said he and Eric Young needed to go look for Sting. D'Amore pulled Young back and told him he had a match tonight, but Young said his "Canadian Danger Sense" was going wild. Good God, lines like that are just freakin' amazing. He said he had a good idea and was on a mission before hopping out with Shelley as the rest of the team shook their heads and D'Amore told A1 to get ready then. Pretty good segment here, but mostly because D'Amore is a good talker and Young is just hilarious.
Grudge Match
Matt Bentley Vs. Lance Hoyt
So I guess Bentley is now the "Maverick." Yeah, that's going to help get him back over and give him back his credibility. At least we don't have to see that dumb Bentley Bounce anymore. They try to put over the Bentley turn from a few weeks ago on the Xplosion show, but does anyone really care? Well take away one dumb thing and put in another because the Hoyt fan club was back here; I guess Hoyt got drunk and bought everyone drinks at the bar the night before. They weren't nearly as bad as it has been in the past, but still just annoying. On point, this match wasn't that bad, but wasn't that good anyway; the best part about it was that it got significantly better in the middle, but the beginning and end were just kind of pointless. The middle of the match tried to tell the story of the match, but it was really the completely wrong type of story for the situation. Bentley turned on Hoyt and Hoyt should have been filled with rage/hatred looking for revenge; none of this was shown in the match. The match basically had your typical Bentley and Hoyt spots like Traci teasing the opponent, Hoyt trying to fly around the ring, and Bentley attempting to play a heel. I say attempting because outside of his workrate, the guy has absolutely nothing; he's got no special look, special mike skills, charisma, energy, et cetera. He's just a guy who nine times out of ten won't stink up the ring. Anyway, the highlight of the match was a spinning neck breaker off the top rope from Bentley to Hoyt which then led into Bentley working over Hoyt's neck. It was good work, but didn't go on long enough to make impression nor did Hoyt even act like his neck was hurt ever. The true mark of a good worker, right? Bentley did do a lot in this match to make Hoyt look better than normal, especially the selling and air he got from a one-handed flapjack. If you need any evidence over the mediocrity of the match, just look at the near fall that would have killed people in their seats if it was done in the main event. Hoyt hit a Pump Handle Slam out of nowhere and the crowd could have cared less for it or even the near fall. Great heat. It went on from there like you'd expect until they got to the end which was entertaining for reasons outside of the match. Borash came out and started talking from the rafters and he was with Young and Shelley looking for Sting. Young said this was his best idea yet and started dropping fliers from the top of the arena which had Steve Borden's picture on it with the caption of "Have you seen this man?" Traci grabbed one and showed Bentley who said what we all thought: "Who cares?" He then turned around right into a big boot from Hoyt who then picked up the win in a bland match.
Winner: Lance Hoyt
Star Wrestler: Matt Bentley
Bentley may be bland outside the ring, but inside the ring, I rarely have any big problems with him. He's nowhere near the level of other HBK students like Danielson, London, Spanky, and Cade, but he's still not a bad worker. Here, he did his best to carry Hoyt, and while it didn't pan out, he still got a better match out of Hoyt than most others would have. His neck working in the middle of the match and the huge selling he did for the flapjack move were probably the only high points of the match here, so for that I'll give this nod to him.
Jeremy Borash, miraculously getting from the top of the arena to the back in about a minute, was then shown with the faces in the eight man tag later on. Rhino started it up talking about the war it's going to be and people will see why he's the War Machine. Ray then said it's really Destination War and he then put over everyone on his team in comparison to the feud they have with the other member of the team. With that, am I supposed to believe that Killings and Jarrett were feuding? News to me! Ray goes on about it before Killings got on and started busting out his great rap lyrics which I know we all loved. Devon then did his normal testify line except at Killings as Ray pleads for Devon to teach him Ebonics. He should really just listen to Vince McMahon at the Rumble then.
Grudge Match
Team Canada Vs. The Naturals
Yeah, this "grudge" thing's not working out too well. The problem is, most of these "grudges" are utterly pathetic ones and just cover up the fact that TNA threw these matches together to get all their stars on the PPV. All right, Chase Stevens is the blond one and Andy Douglas is the dark-haired one. Chase-dark, Andy-blonde; got it! This was basically another bland match, though definitely better than the previous one. It was kind of sad it was so bland considering the time TNA gave them (thirteen minutes). Watching this match made me realize two things that both kind of made me sad. One, Roode is nowhere near the level he should be at this point. A few months ago, I was really high on the potential he had and was really hoping he'd start improving week by week, but it's about three or four months later and the guy is practically the same as he was. Kind of like Monty Brown, except Roode doesn't dress/act like a bad porno star and annoy the hell out of me. The second thing is that The Naturals really are talented in the ring and are very fluid in almost everything they do, but god damn, they are lacking so much charisma that they need. If they even had an ounce of the charisma that teams before them like The Rockers, they'd be miles beyond their work right now. Still pretty entertaining to see them, but you just hope for so much more and get disappointed each time. Anyway, there was nothing noteworthy in the beginning and middle of the match except some great selling and bumping by Young. He's got the psychology of his character down pat at this point, but the only criticism I have is that he seems to take a bit of focus away from the faces he's with while doing such big bumps and such outlandish selling. Don't get me wrong; I love Young and it's still entertaining, but I can see it causing a lot of problems down the road.
TNA's infamous production work was shown here big time as they focused way too much on one of the Young bumps and then got the tail end of Stevens being thrown (or did he dive and miss?) out of the ring. Great work there! Set-up for the hot tag was pretty good as Young was on top of the turnbuckle taunting the crowd and Stevens exploded at him with a springboard dropkick, which Young naturally sold like a beast again. You'd think after such a big spot like that, the hot tag would have been pretty hot, but I guess they waited too long or the crowd just didn't care because there was no heat and not really much in the ring as well. From there, the faces botched a wheelbarrow spot which I cringed at because it looked like Young crushed someone's face, but the Naturals did recover quite well from it. Next highlight was Roode and Young setting Chase up for a double Superplex, but Andy exploded at them and hit a triple Superplex onto everyone which was a good, quick spot that got a huge reaction. I was really hoping they'd capitalize on the all the hot/fast stuff they'd been doing with a great finish, but it's TNA so we got another cheap win as Young hit Andy Douglas with the hockey stick and Roode picked up the win. The match got a lot better towards the end, but was still a bland match that didn't really serve a purpose either which way except to get all the guys on the roster on the PPV.
Winners: Team Canada
Star Wrestler: Eric Young
Like I said, The Naturals have the work, but it's really all for shit since they have no way of emphasizing that work whether it is psychologically or through their charisma. Then we have Roode who's just a generic big man or enforce or whatever you want to say. Then you have Young who's got the basic workrate down, the character, the charisma, the selling, the bumping; basically the total package here. I would like to see the workrate come up a bit more for him, but really, no one loves Young cause of his workrate and if he got a lot better, it'd probably turn out like Kurt Angle in that no one really takes you serious because you play a goofball yet you're better than half the roster. Anyway, as it was, Young was easily the best in the match and made the beginning and middle at least bearable to me.
Of course, Jeremy Borash was backstage again and this time with Monty Brown. They talked about how it's going to be Monty's biggest match and Monty said he'd finally take the respect he deserves. If you want respect, stop acting and gyrating like a porno star. He talked about the Serengeti some more before going off on Christian being the flavor of the minute and month (how?) and then described himself as the flavor of the millennium. That line doesn't even to be parodied. Monty then tried to utter the single most annoying catchphrase in pro wrestling today before Zybsko popped in to interrupt him and justify the money he makes. Zybsko basically told Monty that everything would be fair and equal tonight. Monty then went on a tirade about how he doesn't need it to be fair because he'll make it fair and then he just had to utter that damn catch phrase. I think a little part of me just died inside with the image of him rubbing his forehead on the mike as well.
A build-up package then played showing the recent LAX-James Gang feud. Quick question: why is Bullet Bob called Bullet Bob Armstrong yet his son is then called BG James and Kip adopted the last name as an homage? Why don't they just call them all Armstrong or all James? Before the match, Konnan gave a pretty weak promo where he basically said he hates everyone. He then said he'd end their misery tonight and then spouted out his normal catch phrases. The faces then came out as Tenay called Bullet Bob BG's daddy. Daddy? I'm sorry, but am I supposed to believe this guy to be tough when you say he's with his "daddy?" BG then had to get his moment on the mike too and basically ran down the promo beforehand and said it's fight night as they pissed off the tribal elder. He then called them punk bitches and the heels all hopped into the ring. Great way to hype up the match, huh? Oh, well; let's go into this train wreck.
Trios Match
Latin American Xchange Vs. James Gang & Bob Armstrong
I know I rag on TNA a lot, but I do like how they give tag teams more of a chance than WWE. I'm not the biggest tag team fan, but really, I can't remember the last time a WWE PPV had more than one tag match. Good or bad, they still serve their purpose and his match is the shining example of it. Onto the match, it was about what you'd expect, but also really showcased a problem TNA has. All of TNA's good matches have no storylines whatsoever and all of their good storylines never end up having good matches. Sure, there are exceptions, but nine times out of ten, this is the case. The match itself was pretty bland (a popular trend tonight) and was really what'd you expect, but because they gave it so little time, it wasn't a complete train wreck. Faces took advantage early on, then BG was the face-in-peril, heels worked him over, and then the faces got revenge. Not much to write home about in terms of excitement. Kip's hot tag was worse off than the match before which was sad considering Kip has been in the business at least twice as long as The Naturals and is considered a "tag team specialist." The camera work on TNA continued to piss me off as they did a close up on the beat down Bullet Bob was giving Konnan which basically showed Bob barely hitting Konnan's arm. Note to TNA staff: don't expose the business more than you are already going to. The only real highlight of the match was a pretty cool chair spot; BG got Machete up for a Pump Handle Slam, but Homicide almost nailed him with a chair. At the last second, Bullet Bob grabbed the chair and they fought over it until BG kicked the chair sending it hard into Homicide. It was quick, loud, and Homicide sold it like death so it came across as well, but it might have been because everything else in the match was sub-par. To cap it off, the faces all ganged up on Machete and Kip nailed his The Boat Ride onto him for the win to cap off the feud, I hope. Like I said, nothing to write home about, but honestly, it really was better than I personally expected and was nothing more than just another bland match to add to the pile.
Winners: James Gang & Bob Armstrong
Star Wrestler: Bob Armstrong
Got to give props to guys getting in the ring past sixty and it's not like anyone was much better in this one and as the announcers said, I wish I'm half as fit as Bullet Bob when I'm that age.
Of course, another backstage segment followed, but it was surprisingly entertaining and thankfully not an interview. Jeremy Borash was shown with Shelley and Young tip-toeing backstage looking for Sting. In one of the highlights of the night (which is a little sad if you think about it), they got to a hall intersection and Young stopped them. Young then rolled across the hall and almost made me spit my coke everywhere as I really didn't see it coming in any way. The coast was clear so they all went into the bathroom where they whispered some more and saw Sting's coat and bat. Young then channeled some Mel Gibson from Signs as he tried to act like a cop telling someone he was surrounded; basically more quality hijinks! The toilet then flushed and AJ Styles walked out asking what they're doing as Young was positioned to attack. Young asked if Sting was in there with him and AJ said Sting's stuff was there when he got here; how convenient. AJ then made a quick allusion to them two being in there being a little fruity and then gave Shelley a message that the video camera is going to going to get him hurt. God, I hope that's foreshadowing a Styles-Shelley feud which is just what Shelley needs to get more credibility in the X Division with the hopes of a possible X Title hunt. One can dream; one can dream. Anyway, after about a minute of shaking in his pants, Shelley said he was close to nailing AJ with the camera and Eric said they were close before leading the charge once again. God, I hope these kind of segments replace the interview in future PPVs.
Fatal Four Way
Petey Williams Vs. Puma Vs. Sonjay Dutt Vs. Chris Sabin
I think it's sad they build Sonjay up as international here and then have him on Team USA. Yes, I know he's from Virginia (like all cool people), but you can't have your cake and eat it too. On a completely unrelated note, what the hell are the alien symbols on Sabin supposed to mean? Is this another case of someone trying subtly to do a gimmick and it failing horribly? I love Chris Sabin probably more than most, but come on, what the hell? This was a very good match that really came out of nowhere. The rest of the night up until this has been slightly below average and definitely not worth the money, but this really did a lot to salvage the night so far. Started off with some nice Puma-Dutt interactions which lead me to the assumption that Puma really is everything Sonjay wishes he was and probably more. From there, they did a very cool run of near-falls which would have been better had they not had the tag rule; basically, the ref was a moron and only the first near fall had an chance of being a legal win. Continuity is the true path to great wrestling, whether it be through the small or big things, guys. Anyway, after that, I really started to dig the Sonjay Dutt-Chris Sabin interactions which did an excellent job of playing off their tag team days as they knew what the other had in store for them. I hate Sonjay, but at this point, I thin a singles match at about thirteen to fifteen minutes would be really good between the two with Dutt playing the heel hopefully. Sadly, everything Dutt had impressed me with up until that point was cast aside as he completely missed a free pass to work over Puma's legs and introduce some basic cruiser psychology into the match. Well, screw psychology; he can do five rotations in the air. That'll get him over big time!
The middle of the match was a basic build towards a very great ending that was full of your basic rest-holds and cruiser spots. Oh, I loved Don West trying to put over the psychology of the "O, Canada" spot; next thing you know, he'll be explaining why someone crouches over for ten minutes before Ron Killings hits the Scissors Kick. Back on point, the end of the match was really red-hot which started with some topes, dives, and what-not that would have been bad, except Puma really knew how to land them, place them, and sell them even by distracting those on the floor long enough for Dutt to jump. I really have a seething hatred against moves like that and it's mostly for the idiots who will stare at you for ten minutes before you land, but Puma really helped fix it in TNA for a change especially with that great rope tangle spot. From there, the action was red-hot and definitely fluid, well-placed, and off-the-charts. People might read this and be confused because the action is pretty much the same as in a singles match, but the difference is, it makes no sense for so much to be going on in a singles match because there are two less wrestlers. Here, it makes perfect sense because of the extra wrestlers and the spirit of competition (hey, Tim!). This may just be the best four-way match I've seen in ages. To finish of a very good finish and a great match, Dutt was nailed with the Canadian Destroyer, Sabin and Williams then went at it until Puma nailed Williams with a springboard neckbreaker, and then Sabin finally got his Cradle Shock in for the win. Hot damn, that was a match worth seeing and definitely made it into my top ten of the year so far.
Winner: Chris Sabin
Star Wrestler: Puma
I thought this was a pretty hard shot, but I felt like Puma was really the one making this match stand-out around the point that everyone started diving everywhere. He had the high-flying psychology best of everyone and really did get the best of everyone in the match, second to Chris Sabin probably. Without Puma, I doubt this match would have been anywhere near as good and I hope all three (yes, even my beloved Sabin) learned something from Puma. Sure, at times, he messed up like others, but if you think back to the spots and set-up that solidified the match, Puma was there for all of it.
Yet another backstage segment followed, this time with the heels in the eight man tag match addressing the earlier promo by the faces. This one also followed the idea of the war with James Mitchell talking about how they have the greatest soldiers in TNA and Abyss agreed to "enlist" with Jarrett's army. He talked about being brought together with a common goal of stopping infidels and outsiders from taking what's theirs. He then talked about the only way to win was to bring out the weapon of mass destruction (Abyss) along with the rest of the heels and turn the iMPACT! Zone into a slaughterhouse. Pretty solid promo as always from Mitchell. God, Abyss and Mitchell are so perfectly matched it's disturbing. Jarrett than started to address Sting but Young and Shelley ran in and said they couldn't find him. Jarrett could have cared less as he told Sting that it's time for him to find them as he is going out with a bull's-eye on his back. Pretty solid backstage interview which actually did hype me up for the next match. The video package for the Eight Man War then showed. Time to step into the battlefield.
Eight Man War
America's Most Wanted, Abyss, & Jeff Jarrett Vs. Rhino, Ron Killings, & Team 3-D
This was a pretty solid match, but I was really left wanting more. It started off as an all-out brawl throughout the whole iMPACT! Zone with old spot teases (like the ledge spot from the month before), table poses, and bad punches. Nothing really wrong here, we just missed about 75% of the action going on. It's not really TNA's fault here (for a change), but maybe something like a split screen would have helped to catch all the action in between the big spots. They all eventually made their way back to the ring and it was a pretty standard match from there. The thing about the match was that it didn't feel like a war. No one got bloody, no one except Rhino was battered, and nothing big really happened in the end. Some war, huh? If you overlook that part, it'd be a bit better but still not much. The face-in-peril (Rhino) spots and hot tag (Ron Killings) were both exceptionally well after the sea of mediocrity we had already gotten this night. I liked the heels grounding Rhino who had basically been handing everyone their ass (including a double Gore in the corner to both of the tag champs) and Killings may not be the best worker, but he is exactly the guy you want on the hot tag and it was exactly the hot tag it should have been. From there, it was basically just in-and-out brawling with some big spots, the highlight of which had to be a missed guitar shot (Killings countered with a split) into a Gore which then led to Rhino being given a Black Hole Slam. Honestly, that seems like the only real highlight of the match which is kind of sad. 3D did a double Wassup Slam with the help of Jackie Gayda and Ron Killings to Gail Kim and Jeff Jarrett. Meh. A good spot, which I guess could be another highlight, was AMW going to handcuff Killings, but Killings switching it around and handcuffing one of them! From there, it completely fell to pieces and Jarrett hit the Stroke on Killings for the most anti-climatic win in months. Seriously, after the hot opening and the semi-hot finish, it was a very weird finish. There weren't any multi-man spots (more than four I mean) and only a few big spots themselves; even if there were, the cameras missed it because of the beginning and then their own incompetence in the middle and end for not knowing where to put the damn camera. With the number of workers and most of the talent in the ring, the match should have been a lot better than it was and with the time given, definitely should have had a bigger finish. And I was wrong. One match did go over twenty minutes tonight. This one; by twelve seconds.
Winners: America's Most Wanted, Abyss, & Jeff Jarrett
Star Wrestler: Rhino
Rhino was really the only good thing about the match. Jarrett was Jarrett, Team 3D looked blown up a lot, Killings was Killings on crack, AMW was subdued, and Abyss wasn't doing much. Rhino, though, got a lot of big spots and did a lot of big selling and definitely set-up for a finish that should have been better. I really feel like Rhino's in the prime of his career right now and I can't seem to figure out why. His ECW/WWE work (bar maybe a few months here and there) really fails in comparison to the effort in character and workrate that Rhino has put out in TNA. I really only wished that more heavyweights in TNA would put forth the same effort and as it is, I really see him being probably the least marketable of the huge influx of WWE rejects but easily the best and most improved. Then again, why am I surprised?
A spot for Lockdown was then shown and directly by Jeff Jarrett yelling at Tenay and West for the whereabouts of the Stinger. He then said that not only was Sting a quitter, but Steve Borden was since he didn't see him anywhere. Jarrett then got in the ring to kill time (that could have been given to the opening match perchance?) and he counted to ten for Sting to come out or he'd be a proven quitter. Seems like Jarrett was a bit blown up since he laid down towards the end in the middle of the ring before getting to ten and "proving" Sting was a quitter. In all honesty, besides the Jarretts, who really ever thought having Jeff Jarrett as the focal point of a company was a good idea? Seriously! The package for the Ultimate X then showed with some good audio clips and visuals like AJ sitting on top of the cables. Of course, we couldn't just go into the match after this. No! We need a backstage interview with Borash and Samoa Joe, right? Ah, Joe's good so I'm just bitching to bitch at this point. Joe definitely delivered in this match and then some from the get go as he shunned Borash for even mentioning Goldberg and then directed the cameraman like he was his bitch. He talked about how he hasn't slept since TNA stole the belt and put it on top of the ring. He said he's waited to kick Daniels' head in one more time and choke out AJ one more time and then said unlike Goldberg, it's not about "who's next," but who's left. Wow. Now if all the backstage promos were like that, you wouldn't hear a damn thing out of my mouth about there being too many.
TNA X Division Championship
Ultimate X
Samoa Joe (c) Vs. AJ Styles Vs. Christopher Daniels
A bit of a disappointment here compared to their other two matches, but to be honest, Samoa Joe had no business being in the match. If it was a normal Triple Threat match, it'd be a lot better than it was, but as an Ultimate X match, it definitely failed to deliver cable action and what-not. Don't get me wrong; it had some very good and new spots. The back body drop from Joe to AJ to Daniels on the outside was very quick and great as was the spinning plancha Joe followed it up with. AJ cutting off the Ole Kick to Daniels with a big dive to Joe was great as well and the double Musclebuster was easily the best way to take Joe out of the match. But again, there was barely anything special about the match that had the aura of you could only see in this type of match. The only thing that pops to my mind would be the sunset flip of the towers AJ did to Daniels which came off really well with the extra height. Other than that though, nothing. Yeah, it's going to make for a good match with all those spots, but then why did you need the gimmick for the match? After that plancha Joe did, he apparently got something lodged in his eye and from that moment on, it was a lose-lose situation with the storyline and Joe's character really. It had already been hurt with the fact that Joe came out looking worried (like most monsters, right?), but following that, Joe wasn't in the match as much and even attempted to climb the cables and fell after a foot, a move that did more to hurt Joe's character than any booking decision could ever do at this point. If Joe wasn't going to win, don't have him attempt to climb the cables. Yeah, he's fat, but if he was such a monster and a great wrestler like you build him up to be, he would have found a way to get to the title. AJ and Daniels double-teaming to continually take out Joe would have worked, leaving them to scale the cables and give us the Ultimate X action that was promised.
Again, don't get me wrong; the match was good, but definitely begged the question of why it was an Ultimate X match and why was Joe in it? After the match was over, nothing was really accomplished except partially killing the aura/mystique of somebody you've put almost a year's worth of time and effort into. I guess they went home early because of Joe's injury here because we got another abrupt ending here. It wasn't as bad as the previous match, but after the match was over, it definitely begged the question, "That was it?" This may have just been a lose-lose situation from the beginning though because if you put three guys in a match again after their previous two matches, the best is only going to be expected and no one's perfect (as well as the fact that accidents do happen). In the end though, Joe was laid out with the Musclebuster as Daniels and AJ went at it for a bit before Daniels got the upper hand. He then scaled the cables with no competition and grabbed the belt for his second title reign and the end to a good match, but overly disappointing one.
Winner: Christopher Daniels
Star Wrestler: All Three
Seemed pretty much like a group effort from all in this match, especially considering Joe had that injury. Daniels-AJ did a great job of carrying the match in his absence and honestly, you couldn't even tell Joe was injured until the finish when he was laid out for an obvious reason. Really, no one in this match stood out above the other and the match itself was solid, but it just left me (and I'm assuming) others wanting more. Maybe they should have done an Ultimate X Challenge again with Triple Threat rules and then getting down to two. You could have easily eliminated Joe with tons and tons of double team and then let Daniels and AJ tear the house down again. I don't know, but putting Joe in this match was really a failure from the get-go.
After the match, AJ offered his hand in respect to Daniels, yet Joe threw a tantrum throwing steps everywhere and they had themselves a bit of a showdown. I don't think TNA's going to be happy until they've gotten three matches out of each combination which means we still have another AJ-Joe match and two more Joe-Daniels matches to go. They aren't going to be bad, but you have such a big roster for a reason. Use it.
For our final interview, Borash was Christian Cage before his match basically hyping up how Christian's hurt and the underdog to Monty Brown (that'll be the day). Christian basically agreed he got his ass kicked by Monty and then went on a rant saying he gets his ass kicked all the time. Hmm, I know you're supposed to be a type of underdog champ, but going around saying you get your ass kicked is a wee bit too much there, Cappy. He then had the balls to say people respect him because he can take the best ass kicking in the business. Do I even need to touch that one? Christian then talked about Monty's obsession with respect and said he had to earn it in his own stumbling way. He went on some more (yawn) about how Monty's delusional and it's not the Serengeti (well, duh), but the Peep Zone and he's the pride of it. Yeah, no argument there, but ask yourself what kind of accomplishment it is to be the pride of a place where there are no true heels and faces and people will cheer you if you buy them drinks the night before. Christian then took a shot at Monty's Super Bowl record saying it will be duplicated in his NWA title matches because that's how he rolls, of course. Typical Christian promo here; nothing as great as the TNA marks make it out to be, but it's definitely not bad. They then played the video package for this match and I guess it's time to finish this night off.
NWA World Heavyweight Championship
Grudge Match
Christian Cage (c) Vs. Monty Brown
This was better than I thought it would be, but still bland like a lot of the matches tonight. Honestly, the big problem was how it dragged in the middle which basically led me to believe that the previous match ended a lot earlier and thus, they had a lot of extra time that really showed. They had a story or focus already staged before the match (Christian's ribs) so it's not like either had to work hard to drive that home, and while Monty didn't suck as much as he has in the past, his offense was just repetitive as could be. Seriously, it was just punches and press slams and while I liked some of the variations on the press slam like the one he did from the apron and the Tornado DDT counter, it got to a point where it showed that Monty basically had nothing else to do. This was actually probably the best I've seen Monty Brown but still nowhere near the level he should be at by now or a main eventer in TNA should be considering I can think of almost fifteen guys in the promotion at least twice as better than him. Christian didn't get to do much in here, but I did think he came off looking a lot better than he has in TNA and this was probably his best match in TNA yet (kind of sad as well). His comeback was good and evolved as the match went on like missing the Frog Splash at first and then not making the same mistake twice with the senton splash from the top. Even when Monty was barely touching Christian, he was still selling the ribs and driving the story home.
I guess the real problem was the time because at seventeen minutes, there are only so many press slams and punches you can do before interest dies out (and it did). If this match was at about ten to twelve minutes, I can easily say it would have been a lot better because you would have cut out a lot of the stuff that looked idiotic, dragged, and killed the momentum of the past two matches. Then again, you never know for sure what they would have kept in the match and what they would have taken out. For all I know, they could have taken out most of Christian's offense and kept more press slams; I don't know, but I'll try to be optimistic. If the undercard had been better, I think the match would have followed in suit because with a bland undercard and really only about three good matches that weren't in a row, there was no real momentum at all and no real heat towards the end of the match, but that might have been because most knew the night wasn't over. Well, that's the problem with going all the way with three hours and packing the PPV so tightly, now isn't it? The finish itself was probably the best part of the match, but by looking at the crowd, you'd never know it as the Unprettier got a completely weak response from the crowd in comparison to the teases they did earlier and I think if Christian had actually gotten the Pounce, kicked out, recovered, and then nailed it, it would have been better. I don't know exactly; this was probably the best match that these two could give the crowd giving their ability, but as the main event of the show and given the time it had, it left a lot to be desired. To cap it off, Christian hit that Unprettier I mentioned, got a weak reaction, and picked up the win.
Winner: Christian Cage
Star Wrestler: Christian Cage
I really almost gave this to Monty Brown because he was by far the best I've seen him yet, but again, still a long way from why my definition of good is. Adopt another move besides a press slam and we'll talk. Actually, after that match, I hope not to see another press slam for at least two months. Anyway, Christian was pretty much as he always was here, but seemed to be more used to TNA by now meaning the adjustment period is finally over and we can start getting the same workrate he put out in WWE, which wasn't that much better, but still. He sold well, had a great comeback, did get the crowd to perk up at times (though not when it really mattered), and really covered up for Monty's weaknesses when Monty went outside his press slam box. It's still not the work I'd expect of the champion or of a promotion that gets so much praise as TNA, but it was perfectly acceptable work from Christian and compared to Monty Brown, that will get you it.
Cage then started to celebrate, but not for long as Jeff Jarrett than made his way out saying he already won the war and proved Sting is a quitter; all that's left is to get back his title and prove Christian to be a transitional champ like his brother up North. Ouch, that's got to hurt, but then again, who really believes Edge is Christian's brother at this point? He then demanded his rematch now, but Christian wanted Jarrett's career at stake for some reason. Christian then stumbled around and since it's live television, he had to cover and actually, he did a pretty good job of it. They then bickered a bit like teenage girls and Christian said he can't give him a title shot because his hands are tied, but he can kick his ass right now. With that, Jarrett hopped in and they started going at it before Monty jumped back in to get some more shots on Christian. Abyss than made his way out to attack Christian, but was met by Rhino naturally. The rest of Planet Jarrett than spilled out and beat down the two faces as the crowd chanted for Sting. Christian got handcuffed to the ropes by AMW then and Jarrett decided to whip some sense into him with the belt before passing it off for everyone else to get a shot as Shelley taped the whole thing. From out of the crowd, Steve Borden (not Sting) then made his way out. What, you thought Christian was just going to magically get out of the cuffs two minutes ago? He naturally then laid out all the faces putting him over as the real top star (as opposed to the champ maybe?) and to finish it off, he screamed at Eric Young who ran off like a little kid and then took it to Jarrett in the middle of the ring. Ol' Stevie Borden then started whipping Jarrett with the same belt before locking in the Scorpion Death Lock and then came the mystery man Jarrett called as back-up: Scott Steiner. Yup, Scotty Steiner. He laid out Steiner with the best belly-to-belly he's done since about 2001 and then all the heels came in to lay out Borden. The crowd started to chant for Goldberg then; what, one WCW star turned WWE reject isn't enough? Well, chant all you want, you're not going to get it. Steiner then locked in the Steiner Recliner on Steve Borden then as Jarrett trash-talked him and then nailed him with the guitar shot as Destination X went off the air with Planet Jarrett on top once again.
So, that's it. You'd think I'd have a lot to say about the PPV as a whole, but really, it was just bland. I've used that word at least twenty times tonight, but the PPV was really just that. From start to finish, nothing really jumped out of the screen as telling me this was worth the money, but really, nothing was telling me that the PPV sucked on a whole either. It was just a pretty average PPV with about three good matches (one of which was nowhere near as good as it should have been). The PPV even ended on a bland and cliché note that we've come to expect from TNA and while Steiner's WWE run was utterly pathetic, I'm not here to bitch about him because as long as he's not giving an extended amount of time in the main event or taking away a spot from someone else, I could really care less. At this point, Planet Jarrett's only going to get bigger so I'd rather them add someone new then a heel on the roster that has a purpose like say Joe. Maybe this means Shelley can step out of the faction now. Like I said, only two matches went over fifteen minutes (eight man war and the main event) and if you take out a few seconds, I was right in that no match went over twenty minutes. At the end of the PPV, the whole thing left a lot to be desired and definitely was not as solid as last month which was easily their best PPV which basically sums up what I already knew about TNA: an average promotion that has spurts of excellence every once in a while and then falls right back to where they were before hand. Let's just hope Lockdown does well.
Well, that's it. No long ending spiel here for me because I've got a lot left to review which includes (but not limited to) the 4/2 NOAH Show, WWE WrestleMania 22, and then the next two weeks of WWE/TNA television with a few Indy shows thrown in the mix too and of course, four documentaries I really need to get to. Yeah, it's fun to be me. Well, don't forget to check out the 2nd Anniversary of TheWrestlingVoice.com tomorrow which will sure to be a big day filled with new and updated contents and a lot of stuff from yours truly including a new episode of my radio show. Hope to see you all there, but if not, just keep reading my reviews and we'll call it even. Also, check out TheBalorgsLair.com because I told you so. No really, it's a great site and run by genuinely nice guys. 'Till next time, this is "Squared Circle Reviews" signing off and hoping you enjoy what you watch.
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