Note: Tommorrow night, I will be doing live play-by-play reviewing of WWE Armageddon at TheWrestlingVoice.com. Whenever I do live coverage, it normally turns out to have a good showing as well as be entertaining in the least as I'm more in depth and interactive with it than any other site today. Plus, I'm ten minutes on average faster than every other person doing it. If you're going to get coverage of it, why not get the fastest and most in-depth? Anyway, just remember that for tommorrow and for more information, just click here. Thanks and enjoy the review!
A video plays to start it off and it welcomes us to the Parthenon as they recap the feud and brutal match coming up first between Sabu and Abyss. The Turning Point video then plays which is just basically a shot at six or seven wrestlers. That's kind of sad considering how well their Impact! video is as well as those superstar highlight videos.
Barbed Wire Massacre
Abyss Vs. Sabu
Average match I thought. If you really like hardcore spectacles, you'll enjoy this match. If you really don't, you won't. If you really like TNA, you'll enjoy this match. If you really don't, you won't. Simple as that, but I was visibly split on it. I hate matches like this nature because they are just obscene violence for the sake of being obscenely violent. No real meaning behind what they do. For instance, the story going in was supposed to be that Abyss was "scared" of the barbed wire but was conquering his fear getting into the match. I would have much rather seen Abyss freak out a few times in the match as he got near the barbed wire, but Abyss acted completely normal as opposed to the weeks building up. It was a good storyline to put into the feud, but not really effective in the match itself. Just sums up that the match was basically violent for the sake of being violent. Of course, there were things I liked. I loved how Sabu would go to bounce off the ropes, but realize he can't. The way he did it was excellent psychology and made up for the inability to tease the ropes. They didn't really tease the ropes because they took the first barbed wire shot within a minute or so, but the bouncing teases definitely made up for it. That spot was also good though with Abyss just kicking out of a cover by Sabu by launching Sabu into the ropes. Didn't see it coming at all, though I probably should have. There was also a good spot where Sabu was just working over Abyss with a knife like object which caused some nice blood to come out of Abyss' arm. Whenever you get blood not from the head, it's always a good thing.
From here, they did predictable back and forth spots which were mostly counters you saw coming a mile away. Case in point, Abyss got hold of a barbed wire chair and laid it on Sabu. Naturally no one will just let a chair be laid on them and then wait thirty minutes for someone to hit him. Abyss did a horrible job trying to duplicate Sabu's good rope teasing and then went to jump on (more like over) Sabu, but Sabu put the chair up and Abyss got hit in the crotch. Saw it coming a mile away and the goofy selling Abyss accompanied with it just totally killed part of the mood. Continuing, the match just used some chair shots and use of the plywood barbed wire which you knew Sabu was going to take. The finish was good though as Sabu almost got whipped into a barbed-wire board in the corner but stopped. Abyss then charged at him and Sabu moved out of the way leaving Abyss to get stuck in to the barbed wire. That was maybe not that great, but what followed was. Sabu then kicked the board Abyss was attached to so Abyss fell right down onto the other board in the ring making a barbed-wire sandwich with Abyss as the very bloody meat. Sabu then hit the leg-drop and the opening contest was over and about what I'd expect. Not horrendously disappointing, but nothing except two spots I didn't see coming. Overall, average, though your love/hatred of the barbed-wire or TNA will definitely influence your opinion. One thought pops into my mind though: don't your shoulders have to be on the mat to get pinned, not barbed wire and a board?
Winner: Sabu
Star Wrestler: Sabu
By God, Abyss was horrible in the match especially with the goofy selling. It'd be like doing Eugene-ish comedy in a Hell in a Cell. It has no place and adds nothing to the match except a new tone that's undermining the original. I have to give Abyss major props for taking the bumps and shots he did as a lot of big men these days never take them. Seriously, when would you ever see Big Show or Kane do spots like this? Still though, he sucked horribly in the match. The only thing making the match average in any way was Sabu with his psychology of the barbed wire. I don't normally like Sabu, but I will give the guy his due when he does something well. He was playing off the rope absence very nicely as well as selling the barbed wire spots well minus the goofy selling (damn you, Abyss) so of course I'm going to praise him. Overall, an average match with a better than average effort by TNA's resident maniac.
After the match, Sabu takes some more pot shots at Abyss as he's sandwiched. The refs try and pull him out as Sabu stands tall. Eventually, Abyss gets out of the ring with Mitchell as Mitchell says he conquered his fear and what-not. Where was the fear shown in the match? Nowhere! We then go to the announcers as TNA tries to kill time so they can set-up the ring for the regular matches. They hype up Cage-Brown in a contender's match (meaning whoever wins will get a shot in three months) followed by the tables match, Joe-Styles, and Rhino-Jarrett. Don West and Mike Tenay go through some more BS killing some more time with Don West just looking like he's dying without food. We then see footage from earlier which is of Jarrett and AMW coming out sans Gail Kim. Bullshit segment to kill time but great in that James Storm came out of the limo drinking beer and tossed it into the bushes as he was done. I wish he'd do a match drunk, either in character or not. We then see Rhino coming up and they are trying to pump up Rhino as the working class guy and Jarrett as the money-bags champ or something to that effect which is good, but not really needed as anyone will be an uber babyface against Jarrett.
Shane Douglas, who really needs to kick West out of the commentating booth, is then with the 4 Live Kru and for some reason; Kip James is wearing pony tails. Pony tails! I think Kip James should come with his own disclaimer now or at least show a picture of normal Kip James hair and then Kip James hair on coke. God, I have to give Douglas major praise for not just taking a shot at Kip's trendy look. BG James gets on the mike and says that 2006 will be the year of La Familia (god, JAPW flashback) and they will kick it off tonight against Team Canada. BG James then goes off on his normal charismatic, but subtle, tirades before talking about the new member of 4LK and Konnan and Kip working as a cohesive unit to take down two random guys on Thursday. Konnan said they were clicking and they should tag more often. Okay, Opie. Kip James then gets on the mike spitting some mindless drivel before Konnan gives the typical Spanish seethe and leads the troops to go "shake and bake" Team Canada. Oh, food reference. It must be Don West's lucky day.
They kick it back to Don West who is probably starving by this point and they show us footage of Abyss getting taped and cleaned up backstage as Mitchell is comforting him. Mitchell is a lot calmer than I thought he was going to be, but that's just because Mitchell's a better manager than most today. Tenay and West kill some more time next as they recap the first bout and go over the Samoa Joe and AJ Styles feud. After what feels like an eternity, we finally see that the ring is almost ready as West and Tenay are obviously running out of cliches to spurt out and Tenay finally acknowledges why they have taken such a break. They go onto hype up the "basebrawl" match as well as the tables match later tonight. Finally, the music of someone hits and we get a match and I can start to ignore the idiotic commentators.
Alex Shelley & Roderick Strong Vs. Austin Aries & Matt Bentley
God, can we go one PPV without getting a completely and utterly random match? All this is doing is proving that TNA really has nothing else to do with these people. Why employ them then, TNA? This was a very solid tag team match despite that recurring thought. Nothing too out there to draw attention from any of the later matches, but solid enough to follow what the crowd deemed an amazing opening match. Just shows you what workrate can do for a promotion. One thing that I loved about this match was how over Bentley was, yet how silent the crowd was during his offense. It's not really a bad thing as anyone's offense will look a little weak following the innovative stuff the other three did, but the key point is that he's still over. It should tell people like AJ Styles and what-not that they don't need all that crap to get/stay over. Bentley obviously doesn't. He used simple kicks and a top rope move and still remained the most over person in the match. Anyway, solid match and I really loved Alex Shelley in it. The guy was really the only one out of the four doing something to make a face/heel correlation. He bit Aries' finger to get out of an arm bar which was great and then followed it up with some dust kicking onto Aries as well. I haven't seen any of those things in wrestling in years, which should show just how well the past few years have been.
Besides that, everyone was on the same page in this match with some hot offense and great selling. Aries played the face-in-peril here which they set up well I thought and we got some nice control by Shelley/Strong on Aries. One spot saw Strong lift Aries up into powerbomb position only to have Shelley dropkick Aries down. If you watch it slowly, you can see Strong get his knee up to emphasize the backbreaking gimmick. That is very, very, very subtle there, but very, very, very well-done. The guy is playing his gimmick of the backbreaker messiah better than most in TNA play their own easy-going gimmick. How hard is it to act like you're from the Serengeti really? Anyway, the hot tag was a little lackluster which I found odd but then again, Bentley is no where near the caliber of the other three in this match and that's definitely going to show. He still put out an excellent effort in the match though. In the end, Strong got sent outside and almost hit the camera which he freaked out so much over and Shelley walked right into a Superkick to give the faces the win in a one of the best tag matches I've seen in a while. If it's one thing TNA does right, it's tag team wrestling and coming from the ultimate tag team critic, that is a definite compliment.
Winners: Austin Aries & Matt Bentley
Star Wrestler: Alex Shelley
Alex Shelley was on fire tonight and really the only making the match mean something. Yes, you can have a good match, but giving it meaning when management obviously doesn't want it to is a key thing to do and Shelley did just that. He had the selling, the gimmick (which I actually enjoy), the offense, and the mannerism all boiled into one huge ring presence which the fans and I were just eating up. Everyone else in this match was fabulous too, but Shelley was the one guy pushing the match the extra mile with the total package he gave us and that deserves the praise.
Monty Brown is then shown backstage cutting a promo to a Bob the Builder doll. I found it hilarious though not in the sense that Monty was mocking Christian. Of course, Monty accompanies the promo with the head shakes and wiggle-waggle making me laugh even more at TNA's future champion. I'd hate to talk to the guy in real life without a poncho over my head. Shane Douglas then interrupts him thankfully and says rumor has it that Cage is trying to leapfrog past Monty. Monty then goes off at the mouth about Cage not leapfrogging him or what-not. I got distracted by Monty Brown's shiny shirt and dangling earrings. This guy is just ripe for parody. I can't believe TNA has even an inkling of a thought to push this guy as their poster boy. Anyway, as I come back to paying attention, Monty says something about Cage being the Alpha Male but obviously he doesn't look like it, talk like it, dress like it (ripe for parody!), speak as eloquently (my ass) like it, et cetera. Monty continues on his mindless rambling as I die more inside and he ends up with the pounce line while Douglas is laughing (about what, we can only guess).
Jarrett then shows up because God forbid the champ doesn't get his air-time on the show. He says Monty just doesn't get it. He then says, "What is this Nickelodeon? You're dressed like Snuffle-upagus!" Thank you, Jarrett. You may not be what you used to be in the 90s, but you can still insult like the best of them. He says Monty can beat Cage in five or ten minutes, but it doesn't matter because he is the golden boy, the flavor of the month, and TNA hand picks the challengers. Wow, that is truer than I bet Jarrett meant it to be. I'll go into it more at the end of the show. He then says Monty would have gotten a shot a long time ago if it was up to him, but Monty just doesn't get it. Jarrett then asks him if he knows about the announcement that TNA put out saying something will change the face of wrestling or whatever propaganda they want to spew in 2006. Brown then tries to smarten up Jarrett saying he is the face of 2006 or whatever. Jarrett says Brown doesn't get it for the fourth or fifth time and says he's going to go find someone who does. What a horrible segment with only a good insult to Brown to save it.
Raven then comes out to meet Zybsko in the middle of the ring and he says it's never going to end until Raven signs his release. He tells him to take the money and go do whatever he wants to. Raven then goes off at the mouth to insult Zybsko culminating by calling him the answer to a trivia question no one's ever asked. Ouch, that burns. He then says at least Hasselhoff has Germany and listening to him is like a drive-by that will never end. God, I'd hate to get into an argument with Raven. Raven then contemplates the release before giving Zybsko his answer in the form of a very weird and high-pitched laugh and tossing the mike squarely at Zybsko. Typical Raven goodness here. Chris K formerly Kanyon then makes his way out and we are probably going to get another crap fest like last month.
Raven Vs. Chris K
Surprisingly, we didn't. I actually enjoyed this match a lot better than I thought I would and probably a lot better than I should have. Kanyon was looking better in that ring than he has since WCW as well and definitely impressed me. It was just a nice brawling power match with two guys trying to get one up on the other until one got and maintained controlled (which lead to the end). Fun match, but I still think I enjoyed it a little too much. Raven's mouth got busted open and we all know a bloody mouth is a true testament to a grudge match like this. There was one spot I really enjoyed which was when Raven kicked Kanyon while he was on the ropes, but there was so much force that Kanyon peeled out of the ring and went right into the barrier. Good selling and just a good spot. Not much happened from there except some ramp work that was good as well as more back and forth righteousness. In the end, K went for the top-rope Fameasser to a chair, but Raven countered it into a powerbomb to the chair. He then nailed the DDT to K and got the win in what I think is the third Zybsko challenge.
Winner: Raven
Star Wrestler: Chris K
As I've said before, being the best wrestler doesn't always get you this nod in this series. If you surprise me by doing a way better job than I thought you would do, then you're going to get it even if you weren't the best worker. Kanyon was great tonight I thought and a million times better than anything he's done in the past five years. He was on cue, on the ball, played the pissed off gimmick well, and had a nice offense to boot. It was just a fun, short brawl between the two which was really highlighted by the nice workrate Kanyon gave us. Now if only other people would start putting out more of an effort like this in TNA, I don't think I'd have anything to bitch about.
Raven then stands tall but not before Zybsko jumps in and freaks out. He says he's sick of him and this going on and on. He tells him to sign the release like a man and leave like a man for once in his life. He says he doesn't care what Raven wants or thinks he deserves, but just wants him to go. Did you go to the same whining school as Orton, Zybsko? Raven snatches the mike away and screams no before taking a shot at Zybsko. They start to go at it for as security breaks it up holding Zybsko back while Cassidy Riley celebrates with Raven in getting on up on Zybsko. They better do something big next month with Raven, otherwise, this is just going to get old fast.
Shane Douglas is then with Team Canada backstage and says that one word comes to his mind when he thinks of Team Canada, cohesiveness, but as they prepare for the 4LK, he notices that there is no Bobby Roode. No Roode? Whatever will I do! Actually, I'm quite pissed because I enjoy the guy's work and think he's the best out of the stable of heels. D'Amore tells Douglas not to worry, but Eric Young starts to get antsy and goes into some grade level arithmetic saying that he has a bad feeling because there are four of them and three of us. Is that why they are called the Four Live Kru? Wow, thank you for educating me. Canadian intelligence is so high. Petey Williams then tells Young to stop and goes to give him what he needs: a slap. Young stops him and tells Petey to stop hitting him or whatever and I feel like it's two school girls in the playground fighting over Barbie. D'Amore then says Petey has no right to hit a team member, but I guess he does as he then lays a slap to Young's face. He tells Young that he's tired of this and states that they need to get ready for the eight-man tag.
D'Amore then goes off about all the family talk when all they have is emotion, but he'd rather have a team or something. I don't know, I wasn't really paying attention again but this time because I realized Shane Douglas must have the best facial expressions of any interviewer today. Jarrett then shows up with Bobby Roode (Yay, Roode!) and says he likes what he hears. Not even an hour into the show and we've already seen Jarrett thrice already. Great stuff, guys. Jarrett complains about how Brown doesn't get it, but all of Team Canada does. He then asks D'Amore about the huge statement, but D'Amore doesn't know but will get to the bottom of this before tonight is over. Jarrett then talks about how he feels he's going to get screwed or something, but Roode tells him he has nothing to worry about. He says he knows a thing about politics coming from up North, so he's got his back. D'Amore then fires up the troops as they all head out to the ring for the eight-man tag match.
Eight-Man Tag
Team Canada Vs. 4 Live Kru
Thankfully, Kip James didn't utter his four word coke phrase, but the elation didn't last long because of this bland match. They didn't do anything outside of their trademarks in this match. Seriously, nothing. They did an opening exchange that is pretty standard in wrestling followed by Kip's, Konnan's, Killing's, and BG's trademark offense. Then they made BG the face-in-peril. Some guy was on the hot tag. Then it was over. Wow, what a match, right? The only highlight of the match in my opinion was the finish and the opening spot where Eric Young was supposed to start. He was getting pumped up by the heel team but turned around to face Kip James and turned right back around to tag in the reluctant Roode in one fluid motion. That's heel-ism right there, guys. Besides that and the finish though, nothing was good about this match, and the finish only was for being a surprise to me. In the end, Konnan got a chair and told Kip James to set Roode up, but as Kip turned around, Konnan whacked him with the chair. Wow, I'm actually surprised they did the turn so early. I was expecting them to build the split through some miscommunication, but this is so much better. Konnan then mouths off to Kip James before telling Roode to pin him and the heels get the win to finish off a pretty bad match.
Winner: Team Canada
Star Wrestler: Eric Young
No one in this match did anything out of the ordinary and like I said, the only highlight beside the finish (strictly for shock factor) was Young in the beginning. In this bad match, that seems enough to warrant this "honor."
After the match, BG and Konnan argue as Ron Killings tries to separate them. Killings finally separates them as BG goes to check on Kip, but Konnan then delivers another chair shot this time to BG. Konnan goes off on the mouth some more as Killings looks visibly shocked. Jesus Christ, Killings' eyes all bugged out is a sight that just may haunt my dreams tonight. Konnan then hugs Killings and offers him to come with him, but Killings looks just shocked. I still can't believe they did this so soon as they only re-united two weeks ago Then again, this way is probably better as it's unexpected so soon. Also, we don't have to see Kip try and act hip-hop anymore, thank God.
Shane Douglas is then with the Diamonds In The Rough who says they are always bitching that they are overlooked. He then says that after what they did, the whole sports world is looking at them. Elix then says that this is wrestling, not baseball, and they built this house. He then says Sabin and Dutt betrayed them and Elix has a freakishly high voice for someone trying to be intimidating. It's hilarious! David Young then goes on to make fun of AJ's batting average saying he could hit it with a broken arm. Then, Diamond gets on the mike and talks about the media credentials TNA is getting and says it's because the Chicago White Sox's wives love the Diamonds In The Rough. I bet not even two wives of the White Sox's players watch TNA, to be honest. Diamond then goes off on a nice heel tirade saying that AJ is not going to get the publicity or whatever off of this and makes fun of the sponsorship garbage he wears. He then says three strikes (while pointing at all three members) and you're out and if Heenan interferes, he will get two fastballs courtesy of Elix and Young right between the eyes. The trio storms out with Douglas looking dumb-founded as usual. I'd be dumb-founded if Simon Diamond cuts a better promo then all the other main event heels too. Well, maybe not Christopher Daniels or Samoa Joe, but they don't talk much on the mike these days anyway.
We then see a recap of the brawl that ignited the match as well as all the media attention it got. Great move on TNA's part to do this because that media attention is definitely going to carry over. If that doesn't help this PPV do more than the average 35,000 buyrates, TNA definitely has some major problems. Bobby Heenan then makes his triumphant return to the commentating booth. Here's hoping he teaches Don West a thing or two.
Basebrawl
Diamonds In The Rough Vs. Sonjay Dutt, Chris Sabin, & Dale Torborg
Now, this one was better than I thought it was going to be, but really not by much. Torborg was absolutely horrible in the match as he could barely even trust his opponent to take a Chokeslam. I'll leave the guy alone a little simply because he hasn't been in the ring in a few years even though he wasn't that good in WCW, but the rest of them have no excuse. Elix Skipper was again the botch king of the night, which isn't surprising seeing as how Jeff Hardy no-showed the PPV. He botched at least two moves in the opening exchange with Chris Sabin, which was actually enjoyable besides that, and then botched horribly in a Huricanrana spot with Sonjay Dutt. Sonjay did one of those multiple spin spots, but Elix finally caught him and went to slam him down, but it looked like Sonjay took the most awkward bump I've seen in a while. I literally cringed watching Sonjay hit the mat and just shook my head at the supposed "superstars" in the ring. I really say the match was better than I expected just because Heenan rules on commentary and Sabin did nice job in this match because other than that, the match just sucked. Actually, there was a very nice reverse black hole slam type move that David Young hit Dutt with, but besides those three things, I'm struggling to find something else good about the match. The rest of the match was really like the one before where it was all generic and you saw it coming or knew it was going to happen regardless of anything. To finish it off, AJ pulled the ref out from counting a pin fall and distracted him. Heenan then came down to help and while the ref was busy, AJ got a home run plate from his buddies in the audience and whacked Diamond with it. Sabin and Dutt then hit their finishers in respective order and this one came to a close.
Winners: Sonjay Dutt, Chris Sabin, & Dale Torborg
Star Wrestler: Chris Sabin
Normally, TNA grabs and maintains my attention during tags, six-man, and eight-man matches, but lately (including tonight), they have been horribly faulty. In this one, the only real thing that I looked forward to watching and enjoyed was Chris Sabin but that's just because he knows how to work as opposed to his teammates and one of his opponents. Young and Diamond weren't that bad in this match, but definitely weren't giving me what I know they're capable of which is surprising considering so many people were probably watching this match.
After the match, AJ puts the home plate onto Diamond and signs it for him which I thought was actually pretty funny. Borash then gets in the ring as a moderator for the presentation ceremony that was interrupted on the Primetime Special. Sabin then hands them some TNA championship rings. Jeez, how much money did that shit cost? I thought they were going to give them the X belt since that's what AJ looked to have in a case for them on Thursday. We don't have jewelry in wrestling to signify success, we have belts. Remember that.
Shane Douglas is then backstage with Christian Cage and Cage asks Shane if he hears that. What that is turns out to be the Christian Coalition, his peeps, chanting his name out there. Well, they weren't chanting his name at first, but they are now. He calls that anticipation that Captain Charisma is about to become the number one contender. You keep thinking that. Look what happened last month with Jeff Hardy and Monty Brown. Do you see Brown versus Jarrett tonight? Nope! Christian then addresses Brown saying the time for talk is over and they are done giving each other fashion tips. He then says Brown can take the Christian doll and dress it up however he wants, take it home, stare at it, and ask it questions like, "Christian, how can I become as cool as you?" Of course, Monty can't, but it doesn't end there. No sir-e. He says he's a guy who does things on his own terms, and on his own terms tonight, he's going to the Serengeti tonight (because the ring obviously looks like that) and bringing back the carcass of the Alpha Male. He then tells Monty he's about to get served (burn!) because that's how he rolls. Christian is trying way too hard to be the Rock of TNA here especially with the crowd pausing. Be your own man, Christian, even if you did copy your mannerisms, gimmick, and move-set from Jericho and Rock. Also, how many more backstage segments are we going to get in this PPV? People complain about WWE having too much talking but god damn this PPV is dragging because of the repeated backstage segments. The build-up is then shown of the Cage-Brown match and we go to something I should be taking as a sedative.
Contender's Match
Monty Brown Vs. Christian Cage
I love how they are just calling this a "contender's match" which basically means the winner will get a shot at the title in about five months because God knows as TNA brings in more big names, they will get the shot first. Like the Basebrawl match, this was better than I thought it was going to be, but still not that good. If there was ever a match to confirm my suspicions of Monty's inexperience, it was this match. Monty could barely do or take anything right especially a Tornado DDT in the middle of the match which looked completely crap because it's not one of the five moves Monty knows how to sell, of course. The opening of this match was completely horrible as they did the run-around outside ring work where they'd do a move, throw you out, do a move, and throw you out. I swear it went on for at least half the match and was completely idiotic. When they were in the ring, they were a lot better and had some nice spots as well, but still some things that exposed just how green Monty is. For instance, everything Monty seemed to do was anti-climatic outside of his Alpha Bomb like at one point, Monty reversed the Unprettier into an Electric Chair position. Did he drop him with a high-power move from there? Nope, just pushed him into the ropes because that definitely screams climax, right?
Christian and Monty did have a spot which I liked a lot where Monty was trying to pull Christian out of the corner, but Christian was hanging onto the turnbuckle. Monty then pulled so hard that Christian came off with the turnbuckle cover in stow. Good way to expose the turnbuckle rather than just have Monty (who doesn't do a single heel trait well) try and expose it. From there, the two were doing some very good teasing of the exposed turnbuckle that just kind of spiked my interest up a little. The match did pick up well next with a frog splash from Christian and a nice inadvertent ref bump which you could tell was accidental, but Rudy Charles sold anyway. Ah, the mark of a good ref. Anyway, the match had a nice finish as well with Monty using a Full Nelson to try and push Christian into the turnbuckle, but Christian rolled out of the way sending Monty into it. As Monty tried to sell a dazed look (god, I hope he never tries acting), Christian caught him and hit the Unprettier to pick up the win. Definitely a bad match that really only got better as it went on. It was about twelve minutes and because of that, I guess they were trying to kill time as they were on the outside the whole time. If you can't work a full twelve minute match, Monty, I suggest you try and find a new profession.
Winner: Christian Cage
Star Wrestler: Christian Cage
Monty Brown was just horrible in the match with only the use of the Full Nelson causing me to believe otherwise. When a simple hold like that is means for me to compliment someone, there has to be something wrong as no one ever described Ric Flair or Bret Hart as "having a great full nelson" to emphasize their greatness. Cage wasn't really that much better in this match, but he had the right idea to try and kill time and used some better offense. I think Christian is a little out of it in TNA, to be honest. His promos are still great, but his in-ring work has been lacking. His match with Bobby Roode was probably one of the worst efforts I've seen from him in 2005 until this match came about. Damn, it's really sad that Christian's worst in-ring work of 2005 still gets him this accolade. Man, it's even sadder that the guy worse off is still in line for a huge push.
Naturally, TNA wants to keep up with the match then interview forumla as we go to Team 3D backstage. Shane does his normal hype that interviews seem to lack these days as Brother Ray punches a table marked "AMW." When asked where they have been, Ray says that they have been representing TNA all over the world, especially in Japan as the "real" All Japan Tag Team champions. Ray proceeds to talk about how they want the NWA tag belts that they have never had as they are the most prestigious belts in the history of our business. He says tonight is revenge and tables. From there, Ray goes onto scream and scream and scream making me wonder just where the subtle promos went. Devon says his testify line and they storm off as the build-up starts to play.
Tables Match
Team 3D Vs. America's Most Wanted
I had no idea that the tag belts weren't on the line for this match andI have no Earthly idea why not. This was about an average match, but definitely worse than I expected. I think this match summed up that these two can't have a good match together which is utterly depressing seeing as how that's the only reason I wanted to see Team 3D in TNA. What was really bad about the match was the fact that it had no time (nine minute match) and was a complete squash onto AMW from Team 3D. Team 3D got in most of the big shots, came off looking the best, and demolished AMW. AMW just came off looking stupid and a little sloppy especially after a botched 3D move which looked like it was planned, but was still utterly horrible. I did like the good table psychology used in the match as the partner would keep coming in to push the table out of the way as his partner was facing elimination. The best one had to be AMW whipping Devon hard into a corner with a table and Ray just running after him and shoving him out of the way. I wish there was more to say about the match, but there really wasn't which may just be a sign of how mediocre it was. I've seen better tables matches in the past, to be honest, and have seen way better matches from both teams this year, probably even this season. Elimination basically went down with Devon and Ray hitting a botched Death Sentence to James Storm and then a 3D to a table on the ramp to Chris Harris. Both were within about a minute of each other and just kind of showed how little time they had and how big of a squash it was.
Winners: Team 3D
Star Wrestler: Brother Ray
Like in the first match, Ray gets this one clearly for understanding and utilizing the psychology of the match the best. I absolutely marked as I saw him running to save Devon and that's really only the high point I have of the match. He also used chops pretty well in the match as he used them to stun his opponent for a while as he set up something else up or saved somebody. AMW was on rare form tonight when I don't think they did much right save one vertical suplex which just showed a nice display of power. Even Devon was surprisingly bland in this match, though I should take back as Ray has always been the one to carry the match. At the end of the match, Ray was the one making the match work and matter to the people and with a nine minute heavily built up match, that's not easy to do so good for you. If you really don't time matters that much, remember how much people bitched about the short Cena-JBL match at Wrestlemania. Then realize that that match had two and half more minutes than this one.
The former Dudley Boyz celebrate after the match with Brother Ray going into the crowd to share the elation and we go to a video build-up of the Samoa Joe-AJ Styles match highlighted by the Daniels incident. After the build-up, we see people in the ring helping out James Storm who looks hurt from that table bump. God, that sucks as they say he suffered a neck injury. I wonder what's going to come of this. They show the bump again and you can really tell it was a bad bump as Devon just does not know how to do a leg drop. He had his legs hitting the chest and head instead of the neck/chest and table. That's horrible and I really enjoy his work as well.
TNA X Division Championship
AJ Styles (c) Vs. Samoa Joe
Wow, wow, wow, wow! This was just a great, great, great match and a lot better than their earlier match this year and better than I expected. These two really just bring the bet out of each other, especially on AJ Styles' part. This is easily the best AJ Styles one-on-one match I've watched in a long time and the best TNA match shy of the triple threat this year. It was just all sorts of brutal tenacity here and there with both Joe and Styles telling the story in facial expressions that most can't even fathom. You want spots? This one had it in brutal spots like Samoa's kicks (including a nice kick taking AJ's feet out from under him while AJ was on the apron) as well as in high-flying spots like a Shooting Star Press over the ropes to Joe on the outside. You want selling? AJ's look after the kick-outs towards the end was just priceless to sell the resilience as well as Joe's surprised demeanor at AJ's quick offense in the beginning. You want the total package? Just look at this match.
It was just great and had something for everything rolled into a perfect build to the finish. There was really nothing about the match I could complain about as everything they did was placed well (including Styles' high spots shockingly) and added that much more to the match. Memorable moments would include that apron spot I mentioned as well as the subtle stuff like Samoa Joe lightly (but still brutally) kicking AJ to belittle him. Also, I just love the look AJ gave Joe after kicking out. It just simply said, "f*** you, I'm not even staying down for two." They both were busted up in the mouth, especially AJ, and the look of the two bloody and all just going at it was great. This is what the X Division should be. No limits brutality using just your power and agility. Screw hardcore, screw high flying, and screw run-ins. Just a mix of your power highlighted by your offense is exactly what should be shown. To cap off this great one, AJ rolled up Samoa into a pin but Joe flipped AJ out of it and latched in the choke. They rolled over and over as AJ got close to the ropes, but as AJ couldn't get to them, he simply passed out giving Joe his title.
Winner: Samoa Joe
Star Wrestler: Both
I'm not going to say that AJ brings the best out of Joe because it's just not true, but god damn if he doesn't take him to a level Joe doesn't go to often. As far as AJ goes, Joe really does bring out the best in him. These two just have amazing chemistry and know how to tell a story with each other. It's a real shame that AJ can't learn to do it with other opponents, but at least he did in this match. Both men exuded a great story in their selling, offense, defense, et cetera and both were just on fire and the presence they gave out was phenomenal, the only time I'll ever attach that moniker to AJ willingly. Truly great match here.
After the match, the two totally killed the finish of the match. Samoa Joe pulls AJ to his feet in a tease of respect, but then laid him out with the belt. Now, if AJ had just passed out due to pain, how is that he's able to stand less than thirty seconds later? Hmm, great way to kill a hot match, TNA. Security piles in and Joe goes after them as viciously. Joe then goes to give AJ a musclebuster to the chair, but Daniels runs down and starts to beat down Joe. Joe makes a comeback and goes for more, but more security and the refs pop into the ring to separate them as Joe makes his triumphant exit. God, TNA just completely shat on the finish of the match with this one. Even showing AJ Styles, you could see he had life in his eyes and was moving after the whole melee. Why did he pass out then? Jeez.
TNA then plays a video hyping up the Final Resolution PPV which looks like it's going to have a big emphasis on the X Division. The announcers then go over the PPV and show the build-up for the main event and we go to the main event. Naturally, it's been a while since we've had a backstage interview, so Shane Douglas shows up on screen with Rhino. Rhino says he's put his life and career on track and crawled his way to the NWA title, but Jarrett and his friends stole the title. He then says that he's the champion of the fans and his little girl and he's going to cut Jarrett in half with the gore (which he repeats Heyman style). The announcers then show the tale of the tape and the bullet points and the final match of the show comes up.
NWA Heavyweight Championship
Jeff Jarrett (c) Vs. Rhino
This match was about average, but given that it's a TNA main event match, I'd say it was fairly better than you would think. The opening was really good with some nice connections between the two as well as good technical and power spots like Jarrett's armbar into Rhino's powerslam-esque move. From there, Rhino took Jarrett out and the two brawled all over the Impact Zone highlighted by two table spots. The first had Rhino setting one up and then climbing after Jarrett up a scaffold that was about five feet up (TNA will exaggerate it to twenty later). Jarrett laid out Rhino with a chair and Rhino then simply fell down into the table. Good spot, but I kind of saw Rhino taken it as soon as the table was set up. The second table spot had Rhino setting up a table in front of the entrance tunnel. He then gored Jeff Jarrett right through it which, even though you knew it was coming because of the set-up, was still on-par if not better than the gore he gave Jericho through the SmackDown! set back in 2001. Finally, the ref had Borash announce that each of them had a ten count to answer or they'd lose. That was my only problem with the arena brawling as it wasn't a hardcore or falls count anywhere match thus why wouldn't the ref put a count into effect?
Anyway, what would a TNA main event be without some interference? Petey Williams and Eric Young came down to push Rhino down the tunnel and carry Jarrett to the ring. Jarrett looked to have it won (I actually thought he was going to win via count out too), but Rhino came running down at the last second. Rhino made a typical comeback as Bobby Roode and A1 ran down as Rhino tried to gore Jarrett after accidentally goring the ref. Roode then hit the Northern Lariat, but Jarrett couldn't get the pin. Jarrett than used the guitar, but couldn't get the pin again. Since interference from four people is never enough, Jackie Gayda came down to mouth off to Jarrett and slap him into a gore by Rhino. From there, Rhino set up two chairs in the ring and went for a top-rope piledriver onto them, but D'Amore (making the count six) ran out with a hockey stick letting Jarrett counter the turnbuckle move into a top-rope Stroke onto the chairs for the win. Phew! Decent opening for the match, but like all TNA main events, a completely horrible mess of a finish that basically saw the whole locker room pile out because God forbid TNA use some other way to get Jarrett over as a heel.
Winner: Jeff Jarrett
Star Wrestler: Rhino
Jarrett surprised me as he busted out some better selling and offense than normal, but Rhino was still on fire as he's been lately. Ever since he got fired, the guy has just had a humongous fire lit up under his butt to work hard and it's definitely showing. The opening exchanges, the table selling, the second table spot, the determination, et cetera; I loved all of it in Rhino tonight and I'm actually enjoying watching the guy for the first time in a long time. Too bad I can't say the same thing about Jarrett or TNA.
After the match, the lights go out as D'Amore and Jarrett celebrate. The crowd starts to chant "Sting" showing just how much the internet effects wrestling and we then see scorpion images fill the arena as Sting's trench coat, boots, and bats are then in the ring on a chair with a spotlight on it. Jarrett then stares at it in disbelief as do I considering what a lackluster ending this was. Actually, it mostly pisses me off considering TNA is just going to shove the rest of their faces aside for another big name to come in and get a title shot. Still though, the ending was definitely horrible. Think about what must go through TNA's mind. "All right, guys. Let's just put a spotlight on some clothes and a bat and call it a day, shall we?"
Well, to recap, we had one great match, two good ones, three average ones, and three bad ones. Sound like a good PPV to you? I hated watching this PPV to be honest as it really just dragged and dragged because of the post-match instances or backstage segments. Everything was drawn out which is completely surprising considering most of the matches were given less than ten minutes. Had they cut the random tag match (which was good, but not needed) as well as the Raven match, TNA could have given more time to the tables' match as well as the opening match and in TNA, time like that would really matter. I'd give the PPV about an average rating when just looking over the matches, but when you look at all the freakin' backstage segments, the random clips, and the horrid finish, I'd have to shift my point of view right back to negative. If you want to check out the PPV, be my guest, but per my recommendation, the X Division match is the only thing worth watching as well as the Raven and tag match if you've got time to kill. Everything else is definitely worth forgetting and judging by TNA's past exploits, they will do just that by February. Agree? Disagree? E-mail me and let me know!
Phew, this review was long and took me a long time to do! No worries though because I'm actually caught up which I got a lot of e-mails from people saying I could never do. Up next, I've got Raw followed by Heat, SmackDown!, Velocity, Action Zone, and then Impact, but tomorrow, make sure to tune in to TheWrestlingVoice.com as I give free play-by-play reviewing of Armageddon as it happens. It's always a fun thing to do and gets a lot of people interested. Plus, it's about ten minutes (on average) faster then every other site, so why not check it out? For more information on the live coverage of Armageddon, just click here. Well, that's going to wrap it up as I take a nice break for a few hours. 'Till next time, this is "Squared Circle Reviews" signing off and hoping you enjoy what you watch.
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