Like always, we open up with the cool WWE video and horribly lackluster Heat video that looks like it belongs on the Indy scene. From there, Todd Grisham welcomes us to Heat and this week there is no Coach, but Tommy Dreamer! What an odd-ball and what a treat for me! No Coach commentating for a whole week. Huzzah!
Trevor Murdoch Vs. Scotty Saber
God, we are getting a lot of fun squashes in WWE lately. The match was like three minutes long, but god damn if I didn't enjoy those three minutes. Tommy Dreamer called Murdoch relentless and that's exactly what he was in this match. The highlight had to be Murdoch wailing on Saber on the outside by slamming him into the ring and barrier over and over again. If you watched this match, I bet about a minute into it you realize just how much the commentary picked up with Dreamer on it. Why can't he do it every week? Coach is best suited for a manager role anyway; why not just let him do that with Bischoff? Back on the match, another fine point was when Saber got a punch in on Murdoch, but Murdoch just responded by getting more pissed off and hitting a stiff shot. From there, Saber made a typical comeback that you expect from squashes, but Murdoch overcame it, nasty look and all. To finish off this wrecking ball of a match, Murdoch hits a top-rope bulldog for the win in a fun squash. I hope that's his finishing move because the way he does is perfect in the tone of the match.
Winner: Trevor Murdoch
Star Wrestler: Trevor Murdoch
T-Murdoch (keeping the Coach memory alive) was definitely great here tonight and strictly old school with the unremitting beat-down on Saber. In the first two minutes, I don't think there was a breath that wasn't put towards beating down the jobber. This is exactly the kind of star that WWE needs to be grooming for the future. He's over, got the workrate, got the look and marketability, and overall, fun to watch. What more can you ask for?
Surprise, surprise; we get a Shawn Michaels book advertisement again! This time, though, it's a little different as it doesn't have the quotes and mentions DX and the Kliq. Got to mix it up, huh WWE?
Gregory Helms Vs. Brad Allen
Another fun little squash here. This one lasted a little bit longer than the earlier one and was just as good. Helms was good at manhandling Allen, but more in an embarrassing and disrespectful way. I loved Helms chain wrestling into the unique takedown that he followed up with just a face push to the mat. Simple disrespect, but complex heel mannerism; how couldn't I like that? Helms right now has really come out of his shell, but you got to ask at what price? With the super-hero gimmick, the guy had a guaranteed spot on the roster because of his appeal to kids, marketability, and pops he got every night. Now? He looks like every other guy on the roster and it really doesn't matter if he's got the workrate to back it up. Helms will be gone by summer 2006, I guarantee it. Besides all that, the match was still just fun and exactly how squashed should be. If TNA had built Monty Brown up like this or WWE with Chris Masters, I guarantee you there wouldn't be as much backlash against them, but I doubt they would have been as fun as these. In the end after doing some nice manhandling of Allen, Helms hit a reverse Unprettier followed by the shining enziguri. No, I didn't get it wrong; it's a shining enziguri. A shining wizard is when you nail your knee into the face of your opponent at full speed. A shining enziguri (or glimmering warlock like Arik Cannon out of IWA:MS calls it [who I interviewed last year which you can read by clicking here]) is when you nail the back of their neck at full speed. Get it right, Helms. It's the little things that piss me off in wrestling today.
Winner: Gregory Helms
Star Wrestler: Gregory Helms
Despite him calling his finisher by the wrong name, the guy has solid talent and can work like some of the best of them today. He needs to get off of Raw because as long as he's on the show, he's just begging to be cut. If you put him on SmackDown!, he will at least have some cruisers to work with for Pete's sake. With workrate like this and great, subtle heel mannerisms, Helms deserves to be a lot more than Heat boy, but we know that's pretty much as far as he will get.
Surprisingly, a Bret Hart commercial doesn't follow, but rather the Wrestlemania Anthology set. Oh, well, they still have one more time for a plug of the Hart DVD. I know they'll use it too which is sad.
For some reason, instead of a silly recap, WWE seems to be feeling generous as they are sending Matt Striker to the ring to give us a lesson! Striker introduces himself to the crowd as their teacher and goes on to insult them for their track record in school. He goes on to say that they must not know how to act in the presence of such an intellect (such an intellect that got him thrown out of the SmackDown! locker room). He tells them to sit down and pay attention and tells some random fan to take off his hat because they are in-doors. God, he's like every teacher you ever wanted to punch. f***in' Mrs. Ward. He says he will debut on Raw next week, but he will teach them a lesson tonight about first impressions. The crowd starts up a "you suck" chant at this time to which Striker replies that that's profanity and he doesn't take profanity in his classroom. Where is the paddle when he needs it? I swear, that would be the best thing to get him over with. Have him carry a paddle to spank some crowd planted worker with. Think it's dumb? Well, this is the promotion who also gives us Boogeyman eating worms each week so I fail to see the problem.
Striker then points out a girl in a cap and the guy next to her. Take the situation that the two were to go out. He would probably take her bowling or take her to get drunk. That'd be a poor first impression. Say it with me, readers: a poor first impression. Now, if it was Striker and this young woman, they would go out to a fancy diner, drink wine, and he would pretend to be interested in whatever nonsense she had to say. You hit the nail on the head for every guy out there, Matt. God bless you. Striker then says that he is getting a first impression of all of them tonight because they all knew they would be on live television, but look at how they came. They should dress more like him, of course. It's no wonder why people look down on wrestling fans (he's got a point yet again) because with this crowd as an example, he can't blame the critics. He then says he probably shouldn't blame them because they aren't educated, but that's why he's here. Who better to tutor everyone than a guy with a 186 IQ? No way is that even close. The crowd starts to chant "asshole" at Striker to which Striker corrects them by saying it's anus. Anus? I bet that's the first time we've ever heard that on WWE television. Striker starts to finish his lesson, but loses his cool as the crowd continues to heckle him. He stresses that they will learn their lesson next on Raw. Pretty good segment here and even if it is a copycat of Dean Douglas, it's still a damn fine gimmick that is being played very well by Striker. The guy may be a dick backstage, but I foresee a good 2006 for him. It's funny that Striker has the freaking out aspect of promos way better than Orton ever will.
Shockingly, no Hart commercial follows. Oh, no! What will I do without the talks about Bret Hart and his newly released DVD? I think the world just may come to an end! Why give me this WWE 24/7 commercial? I demand my Hart commercial back. All kidding aside, this episode of Heat actually didn't feel like it so much without the two commercials even with HBK's being slightly altered.
Before the main event airs, we finally get a recap since it wouldn't be Heat or Velocity without one. However, this one is slightly better as it's going over the hilarious Bischoff trial with the crappy law music and typewriting introductions inserted for my pleasure. Like I said, it's the little things that matter in wrestling.
Rob Conway Vs. Val Venis
This was a fun Venis match, but not that big of an effort on Conway's part. Conway and Cade are two guys I normally enjoy (Conway more), but they have both been severely lacking the past couple of weeks. Sad too because Conway's got a decent gimmick, look, workrate, and rapport with the crowd that could turn into a good push if he would bust his hump. Venis was just all sorts of pleasurable in the match with his offense considering he got more than I thought he would get in. Venis is one of those guy I never understood why WWE never put more time or effort into. The guy proved he could do other gimmicks like in the Right To Censor (underrated stable) and as Chief Morely. If they pushed him as a serious heel (maybe trying to rid the world of porn or something like RTC to play off his past), I think they could really hit gold. The guy should at least be on Raw winning some more matches though. Conway wasn't as bad as I made him out to be in the match as he did use a nicely placed leg visor on Venis to keep him grounded. I love how even the slightest submission move out of the norm in WWE makes me mark a bit. A bit sad though. Anyway, the other fun part about the match was Dreamer on commentary who I wish would come back every week. One of my favorite lines was Dreamer commenting on Venis hitting the Money Drop: "He missed it cause he didn't wiggle his hips." Classic observation. In the end, Venis missed the Money Drop and as Conway picked him up for the Ego Trip, Venis reversed into a small package for the win. Workrate pays off!
Winner: Val Venis
Star Wrestler: Val Venis
Definitely an underrated talent in WWE since forever it seems and it's nice to see him finally get him a win. I'd really like to see Venis pushed on Raw in a nice mid-card singles match. Is it really too much to ask? For example, you have the preachin' Matt Striker. Put him in there with Venis as he's appalled at his "deeds." Have Venis get a win early on, but Striker comes out of the feud in the end with two wins over Venis. Yes, Venis would job but at least in a manner that is on a grander scale and of way more importance than random Heat matches. With the workrate Venis puts out consistently, the guy needs some form of reward.
Heat was a pretty good episode tonight with some fun squashes, an actual segment besides recap, quick recap, and a fun main event. If you don't like squashes, I can understand why you wouldn't like the show, but I am one who can enjoy squashes here and there like these because it emphasizes the strengths of the winner as well as putting him over and giving us some brutal heel shots as always. Why wouldn't you like that? Anyway, I'd suggest you watch this episode of Heat as it's probably one of the best since they came to the internet and I'd even put it on par with some of the Velocity shows from the past couple of months.
To wrap this one up, I just have to brag that I did actually catch up. Right now, I am only five days behind. Take that, Nunnally critics! I should have the Turning Point review up by tomorrow night or Thursday morning along with the other reviews I have in between this one and Turning Point. With that bragging down, I think I'll end a high note. 'Till next time, this is "Squared Circle Reviews" signing off and hoping you enjoy what you watch.
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