Before I start, I'd really like to say some things. You may skip over them if you want, but if you're an avid or even occasional reader of this reviewing series, I suggest you read.
First off, I apologize for the tardiness my reviews tend to carry. Right now, I am backed up over a week including a week that practically had a show for every day of the week. My goal is to get to the point where the maximum tardiness I would be would be six days late. It may seem like that won't happen until next week, but I will get there. I promise. I've got this Impact!, Survivor Series, Raw, SmackDown! Special, Heat, SmackDown!, Impact!, and Raw so far. I swear on everything I hold holy that I will catch up.
Secondly, I want to shill or plug something. It may be shameless, it may be cheap; but damn it, I'm going to do it! The reason for this shill is basically to plug a "contest" or "interactive session" as I like to call it. Why here though? Well, even though this isn't a column (as most of you would think erroneously); it is posted among columns to get maximum exposure. With that said, I think it's pretty much given that a lot of you read other columns. Linda Robin, David Long, Bob Magee, Mike Steele, et cetera; whoever it may be, I'm guessing if you are reading this review posted with columns, you read other columns. Now, all that out of the way, the "interactive session" I am hosting has to do with columns, more importantly, the quality of them and the columnist writing them. Last year is when I first started it; it was called the Triad Top 50 Columnists then to reflect the three sites the voting took place on (it was renamed 48 because two participants in the list dropped out) and in it, we rated the top 50 (then 48) columnists of 2004. Now, for the 2005 edition of this, we are about half-way through, but could still use your votes. If you like columns and you want to get your voice heard on who you think is the best columnist, I suggest you vote. You can vote on all columnists from established stars like Ms. Robin and Mr. Magee or rookies like David Landons and Chris Grebe. It's up to you! If you want to vote, just simply click here and I thank you for your time.
Finally (and I do mean that), I want to talk about my TNA reviews, which is very appropriate considering that this review is a TNA review. Now, in the past, I have found myself overwhelmed with the amount of feedback I get from my readers, which is actually more than I get for my columns (which may explain why I haven't penned a column since October). My WWE and Indy reviews always seem to be taken well by my readers on a whole. Sure, there will be a guy who hates them, but for the most part, you guys seem to like my review of those promotions, whether I speak praise or bash uncontrollably. For TNA, it's definitively split on those who like it and those who loathe it. Loathe is probably the best word for it too for those who do dislike my reviews on TNA seem to make it a habit of e-mailing or IMing me repeatedly on the subject. So it's come up that the half that doesn't like my TNA reviews (whether good or bad, and there have been good reviews of TNA by me) seems to think I am biased or "picky." Now, that's all good; I'm a strong believer in voicing your opinion which is why I started The Wrestling Voice. With that said though, I think those of you who enjoy my WWE/Indy reviews and not my TNA reviews are the ones biased. Those of you who take it upon yourself to talk with me at length about TNA are more often than not more inclined to like TNA's product more than anything out there. Naturally, a reviewer who really doesn't like TNA on the whole, will not be welcomed by your pro-six sided ring mind.
In reality, I am not biased towards TNA or any promotion nowadays. I call it as I really see it. I speak up when I like something and I speak up when I hate something, the problem is that I really have a lot to hate about TNA so therefore that side gets more attention. When they do something well though, I am there to man the vocal opposition to their good work. For instance, my Team 3-D funeral review; I would still rate that the best segment of the year (though I haven't seen Bischoff's trial and some TNA fans tell me that is better). In the end, if you find me biased at all, it is simply because I am on the whole bashing a product that you enjoy more than anything. I did look into this though and found that of my six published TNA reviews (not counting my dozens of unfinished ones), not one of them is solely negative. If there are 10 points to a TNA show, I would say the average of good points I would find in a show would be three or four. I fail to see how that makes me biased. If I was biased, why give them any credit at all?
Now, I've rambled on enough and I'd like to get some work today, so let's get to the resolution. If you find my TNA reviews biased, good for you. I disagree and so do some readers I have polled, but disagreement is one of the key fabrics of life. The solution for you: don't read it. Unless the TNA product drastically changes, which no promotion has done overnight, I will maintain my current composure of TNA reviews. Down the line, if you think TNA is doing miles better than last you read me, then you might peak your head in for a read. Otherwise, don't read. Why read something that is just going to infuriate you? Simply read my other reviews if you want or don't read my work at all; I am not forcing you nor will I stay up at odd hours of the night worrying that I lost readers that hated my work. If I sound bitter, I don't mean to, but I really am adamant about this. I want people to read my work and enjoy it, so naturally, if you do not enjoy it, don't read it. I am willing to change some things about my writing style, but my opinion on wrestling does not change forcibly nor would I want it too. With all that said, if you still want to read my reviews, good for you and I hope you enjoy the work below. I still welcome all feedback and you can e-mail/IM me at the contact information listed below. Like or hate my words, I love talking to readers because I love talking about wrestling. I am sorry for the delay on this review, in more ways than one, and here we go:
We start off with the normal TNA video followed by a recap of the Monty Brown/Christian segment from the week before. Of course, Christian Cage is a great guy to have with the mike, but Monty Brown? Anything and everything that guy does just seems horribly forced and scripted to the Nth degree that I can't even stomach it. I apologize if you like Monty Brown, but I can't stand the guy at all. Anyway, after that, we get our Impact! opening video and we start off the show, which ironically, is with a Monty Brown match.
Monty Brown Vs. Helvis
Well, at least it was short! Really, that's the only thing I can say about Monty Brown squashes. I have seen some really fun squashes in TNA this week especially the Abyss/Siaki one a few months (or weeks, I can't remember) ago. Monty Brown squashes aren't fun in the least, but it is doing wonders for Brown's character. Honestly though, if Brown is to be a heel, I think TNA needs to start booking him more viciously maybe with some post-match beat-downs or something. Anything to get him over more as a heel will help; because there are only so many times you can do a one move squash before it gets old. In the end, Brown hit the squash on the guy with the cool name and it was over. Thank god.
Winner: Monty Brown
Star Wrestler: Helvis
That is such a cool name and to be honest, even something as diminutive like that gives Helvis enough leverage to take away the Star Wrestler nod from Brown. Period.
Afterwards, it seems the Morphoplex move of the night is the Pounce (isn't it every week) and we go right into a recap of the 3 Live Kru/Kip James storyline which will unfold tonight. The music of 3 Like Kru then hits the ring and one of the few true factions in mainstream wrestling comes out. Behind them very timidly, lies the most decorated tag champ in WWE history, Kip James. They get in the ring all peacefully and BG grabs the mike. He says as much as he loves Konnan and Killings, he loves Kip too. Of course, the Impact Zone fans decide to grace each love pause with an "aww." Love in pro wrestling; who'd thunk it? BG then plays to the crowd saying they can do all the bull crap they want to, but they know his love is for real and all three of you are his family. Konnan then grabs the stick and says Kip always latches onto someone via in DX or almost marrying Chuck Palumbo. As the internet smark would say, buuurrrnnn! BG then plays the comedy (or acting, can't decide which) well and says how is Kip supposed to react when Konnan is just cussing him in Spanish all the time; he doesn't even know what Konnan is saying! I have a feeling this is one of those segments where the TNA creative department just gave all four guys complete control over the segment. If so, great job; it's coming off really well thus far and you can tell by how comfortable they all seem to be.
BG moves on saying Konnan just treats him like crap and never gives him a chancel "what's he supposed to do, give you a cupcake?" Oh, god; I think it would have been classic if Kip pulled out a cupcake for Konnan only to have Konnan pelt it at Kip like he does with the shoe. BG then says enough love, time for the truth and says it's time to put it to a vote. He needs an up or down from each member and he puts it to Killings first. He tells him he's never lied before and asks if he accepts Kip into the family. If they are going to play the "family" card so much, why don't they just call themselves the 3 Live Family? Killings then says that all he wanted was the truth and he doesn't doubt BG; any family of BG's is family of his. All right, one down, one to go. Kip, Killings, and BG all embrace then and then they turn their attention to Konnan who throws a tantrum only to be shut up by BG saying he can't stand the bitching any more. He then says either you're with us or you're against us. BG then asks if he's ever given a reason for him to doubt BG and asks him to trust him one more time. He asks him yea or nay, to which the crowd chants yea. Konnan then says he's embarrassed it got to this point (considering how things are normally handled in wrestling, I would say this went better than it could have) and says if he's your brother, he's my brother. They all put their hands in and BG takes the stick saying it's not one, not two, and not even three; but the family treat, the Four Live Kru!
I'm a little torn on the ending to be honest; for one, it was pretty anti-climatic for the segment and you can even tell by the crowd. The crowd was into their every word even chanting yea after BG posed the question, but was there a humongous pop when Konnan said Kip's his brother? Nope; not loud at all. Given the rabid nature of the Impact Zone, I would say you ended the segment on a pretty sour note. Even more, taken all the past backstage rumors into account, I would have much rather Konnan left and started his Hispanic heel faction to feud with 3 Live Kru. From there, you put the Outlaws in the tag ranks and finally put Killings in a steady push in the X Division. From there, maybe you can start up an American faction and get the Hispanics, Canadians, and Americans all feuding again or maybe bring back the original International Super X Cup. There could have been so many ways, but I think I'm less than pleased because it only solidifies that Konnan and Killings will both leave if they make 4LK, and I don't think Killings will do well on his own at all. Still a good segment though, just a little anti-climatic for my tastes and not the road I wanted them to go down (though it was obvious that's what was going to happen).
All four of them celebrate in the rig and they announce Kip James versus Jeff Jarrett and Abyss versus Jeff Hardy for later in the show, but next, AJ Styles will get a match. Goody.
Commercial break times one equals a very nice, healthy stretch of TV with a good segment. Not too drawn out, but not too short. I've said in the past that TNA has too little talking to give meaning to what they do, but if they put in two segments like that each week, all things will definitely be remedied quickly.
Back from break, they show a video of a doctor explaining the injury Daniels sustained at the hands of Samoa Joe which definitely got Joe over as a more vicious heel. Something's got to be up with Daniels though; either he's going on a Japanese tour, he's completely winded from his traveling, or he's got some legit injuries/family matters to attend to because ROH and other promotions have all stopped booking Daniels for a little while all playing off of some kind of injury angle. If it's a Japanese tour, good luck to you, Curry Man! If it's something else, I hope he gets it all fixed up.
Chris Sabin Vs. AJ Styles
Before I forget, commercial break times two equals a pretty lackluster series of stand offs and counters considering what I've seen both men do in the past. To be very blunt, this was one of the better X Division matches of the year I've seen. It was a good throwback to the cruiser style of wrestling that works: high-flying moves mixed in with mat wrestling and basic moves. Yes, they still had high spots, but does that make it a spot-fest? No. You have to look at the context at the spots, for instance, when a wrestler dives head first into another wrestler on the outside and they both get up in under 20 seconds; how is that meaningful? Meanwhile, just quickly going through the exchanges of dropkicks and Huricanranas and selling them more than most in TNA do planchas; that's great. Sabin was especially great in this match with his unique offense and great selling to AJ's offense. Sabin's turnbuckle counter kick, his unique powerbomb set-up (using the turnbuckle), and the great roll-up he used into his variation of the STF was all great. I hate to use the word innovative because of how frequently TNA throws that word around, but that's just what I thought when watching Sabin.
As far as AJ Styles goes, it's not that he was bad in the match, but there are only so many times I can see him do the same moves over and over again and be pleased. If you like it, good for you; me? I don't. Towards the middle of the match, Samoa Joe came out with the towel marred by Daniels' blood which is a great angle TNA is pushing. The only problem with the storyline is this "unwritten code" the X Division wrestlers have. If there is one, wouldn't cheating break such a thing? If so, then why the hell hasn't AJ gone mental over this code before? In the end, AJ got Sabin in position for the Styles Clash, but Sabin tried to fight out of it. He then back body dropped AJ, but they were close to ropes so AJ just springboarded right back into position and hit the Styles Clash for the win. I don't know if that finish has been used before but it's the first time I've seen it and it was great. Great use of ring position, great use of the tease factor, and overall a very good finish to a very good match.
Winner: AJ Styles
Star Wrestler: Chris Sabin
Like I said, AJ Styles just basically worked the same way he normally does, though I have to admit that his selling and timing were definitely big improvements this week. Overall though, I think the main reason for this match being so good were just the little things Sabin did like his counter kick, the powerbomb set-up, his facial expressions during the chops, the roll-up into the STF variation, et cetera. Sabin was firing on all cylinders tonight and it really did show. The other thing that showed though was how messed up the TNA booking is. In the early goings of the match, we were treated to dueling chants of Sabin and Styles and by mid-match; the chants for Sabin had completely taken over. Now, that's all fine and dandy considering they are both faces, but this is AJ freakin' Styles, people. How much time has TNA invested into the guy for his support to just falter like this? Even more, what kind of message does this send to those watching at home? You've got two faces and one's getting cheered way more; one is the X champ and one is a random match at Turning Point, and the one getting cheered more is not holding the gold or a nice match slot at the next PPV. There is just something fundamentally wrong about that equation right there and just exposes the flaws in TNA booking. Besides my rant, the match was still very good and the star of it was clearly the truly innovative Chris Sabin.
A video recap is then shown highlighting the Zybsko-Raven storyline based on what happened on Canada. Like the Joe-AJ feud, this is a good storyline, but the basis of the storyline makes no sense. If Raven and Zybsko both hate Jarrett and Zybsko believes Raven got screwed, why didn't he give Raven another shot? It made virtually no sense! After the video, we see Shane Douglas walking with Zybsko and they come upon Raven in a car. Zybsko offers him a release from TNA again to which Raven declines and Zybsko says he's got another match for him next week: House of Fun! Meh, a lot of people like those matches, but it just seems like meaningless violence to me. Violence is good, but in matches like that, they need to have build-up. Would you just like to see a random Hell in a Cell match on Raw next week? Doubtful. Anyway, Raven ruled in the segment with his quick shots at Zybsko and mike work. He ended the segment by talking to his driver in perhaps one of the best lines ever: "Drive, monkey!" God, Raven rules.
Commercial break times three equals good match and good segment. Time for action, monkeys!
Shane Douglas is backstage with Christian Cage and the topic seems to be Cage's arrival in TNA. Cage then says that people, namely Monty Brown, don't seem to like how he conducted himself basing on the Pounce he got last week. He then says he isn't mad, but Monty needs to hold off on the period because the story isn't over. He's not that good at grammar, but add a comma, semi-colon, hyphen, whatever, because the story goes on. You see that, WWE? That's what you're missing out on. He said Brown assumed Cage would leave, but instead, Cage picked himself up and demanded a match from Zybsko at Turning Point with Brown. He said he's going to put on his hunting boots and sun-tan lotion and head out to the Serengeti. Brown shouldn't worry about Cage bypassing him for a shot or anything, but rather, Cage going through Brown. Why? Because that's how he rolls. Well, the last line wasn't given by Cage sadly, but rather the interrupting Gail Kim. Kim said he made the right choice coming to TNA like her, but made the wrong choice by going against Scott and Jeff. America's Most Wanted then strolls in and James Storm is still playing the beer drinking redneck which rules. Just seeing him brandish the beer is godly. They say that payback is a bitch and Cage is getting nowhere near the NWA title! Good segment with some great comedy and beer, of course.
Abyss Vs. Jeff Hardy
This was a pretty bland match. To me, it just seemed like they were going through the motions and it seems like Abyss is getting sloppier and sloppier by the week. It's really not that evident in the grand scheme of things, but simple things like running and motions just come off as horribly scripted making Abyss look lethargic in the ring. That's really disappointing me too because Abyss used to be one of the best big men in America today and now, I cringe whenever I see him start to run. Want evidence? Look at the crotch spot in the match! Seriously, how lethargic, fake, and horrible did that come off? Jeez, I never want too see an Abyss spot like that again. The good thing is that his feud with Sabu is still paying off and actually doing some good in giving Abyss an actual place in TNA as opposed to just jumping around. Still though, none of that good feud carried over to this match. It really seemed like I was just watching people go through the motions over and over again and I couldn't wait for the end. Thankfully, the end came quickly.
In the end, Mitchell slides a chair to Abyss and the lights go out. Sabu then shows up with a barbed wire chair and Jeff Hardy has snatched the chair away from Abyss. He then lays out Abyss with it, the ref steals the chair, and then Hardy hits the Twist of Fate. None of that made any sense to me at all. First off, I can understand that Abyss was scared of the barbed wire and that's how Hardy was able to weasel the chair out of Abyss' grip; but Abyss wasn't even looking at the barbed wire when Hardy grabbed it. Second, why in the hell wasn't Jeff Hardy disqualified? If the ref is going to make that much of a tantrum over him using it, just DQ him! Finally, Hardy over Abyss? Someone who doesn't even have a feud or PPV match over someone in a major feud? It's not like Abyss was that distracted (or at least didn't act that way) by the barbed wired. Either Abyss was supposed to be heavily distracted and just didn't act (adding more to my lethargic case) or TNA booking was made up in a pot smoking setting (adding to my overall TNA point). Either way, the match was bland and pathetic.
Winner: Jeff Hardy
Star Wrestler: Jeff Hardy
Like I said, normally I'm a big fan of Abyss, but lately on TV (obviously he's been good on PPV), his matches are sucking more and more. Jeff Hardy really didn't add anything extra to the match either, but at least he wasn't running like someone had him on a leash. In the end, I hate to say it, but Hardy was the star wrestler here.
After the match, Sabu gets in the ring with the barbed wire chair and finally, Abyss freaks out. Now if only he had done this at the end of the match, it would have made so much more sense and maybe even picked up the quality of the match a little bit more.
Commercial break times four equals one of the most bland and sloppy matches I've seen in the past few months.
A cool little video about Rhino's upbringing and training (with Rhino narrating) was then shown. Rhino has really come into his own in TNA. I'm not that big of a fan of his ECW work or his WWE work, and it's not even the fact that was mis-used in WWE. I never got into the guy. These past few months in TNA have really shown a different side of Rhino and he has really stepped up his game which is great. There is no doubt that his Jarrett match at the next PPV will be better than his one with him at Bound For Glory, but how good will that be? I guess that will be the true test of how far Rhino has come.
Jarrett and James then stroll out (Jarrett with Kim and Kip with his posse) for their main event match. This is definitely a main event match on paper, right? Right? Anyway, before the match, Kip James has four words for those not down with the 4LK: "He's Kip James, bitch!" Man, that was about the dumbest thing I've heard him say, and I've listened to his shoot interviews. Jarrett then gets the rest of Kip's eclectic posse kicked out and we go to a break.
Commercial break times five equals some more Kip James coke induced catch-phrases. I'm so happy.
Jeff Jarrett Vs. Kip James
This match was a little better than the previous match, but still not worthy of a main event nor being called "good" in any way, shape, or form. It started off as a brawl as Jarrett took Kip James out and started beating him by slamming his face into all things metal like the ramp and barriers. After a beat-down that just repeated the same things over and over again, Jarrett took Kip into the ring and thought it'd be good to improve the workrate by choking out Kip on the ropes. Didn't really work as intended. Even more, the sloppiness from the last match must have carried over into this one as Jarrett followed the choking up with a botched crotch spot that had his leg hitting the ropes. What is it with crotch spots just sucking tonight? The match really didn't get much better after Kip made his comeback. He was as lethargic as Abyss in the last match and proved just why you shouldn't do cocaine, people. The only highlight of Kip's offense was when he finally hit the Fame-asser, but that's just because Kip has a very impressive vertical leap and makes the move look awesome.
During the match, Jackie Gayda made her TNA debut by coming out and bitching out Kim and Jarrett. For what? No idea comes to mind, but I'm sure TNA will pop up some mindless allegation. Gayda then hops on Kim and they have a cat fight that you think should belong in WWE, but alas, I see the TNA banner. Why did Jackie attack Kim? Well, they never interacted in WWE, Kim has no title for Gayda to want, and last I heard, Kim never badmouthed Gayda. So the answer is no freaking clue! Back in the match, Kip got the upper hand on Jarrett and almost won, but obviously since it's TNA, Jarrett didn't lose. In the end, Bobby Roode laid Kip James out with a hockey stick as Kip was about to lay out Jarrett. Jarrett then hit the Stroke and got the win. What a main event.
Winner: Jeff Jarrett
Star Wrestler: Jeff Jarrett
The match sucked, but was actually bearable with Jarrett in control of Kip. Once Kip got in control, I swear wrestling never looked so fake and scripted. I mean, we all know it is scripted and not real in that sense, but do you really have to shove it down our throats? Kip James is a tag-team wrestler; that's all he has ever been good for and all he ever will be good for. Please don't put him in singles main events anymore. For the sake of workrate, please.
BG James then comes in and gets pissed about what happens. He then lays out Jarrett and Roode in the ring, but the numbers game catches up to Kip and Roode hits the Northern Lariat onto BG to lay him out. Killings and Konnan then stroll in and take out Roode and Jarrett. Team Canada then runs out and starts beating on 4LK as Jarrett starts looking for Gail Kim. Yet again, TNA ends their show with a massive brawl that's really doing nothing except showing that faces don't like to be cheated.
Even though the last two matches were pretty bad, I kind of enjoyed this week's Impact! TNA used their time this week way better as they had three actual matches, one squash, and enough segments to give meaning to the feuds and storylines. Even more, it was nice to see an X Division match with actual wrestling in it as opposed to match ending moves that are sold for less than half a minute. If TNA keeps building their product with shows like this, it could only benefit them, but they just need to cut out the face versus face matches (especially if the lesser face gets cheered more) and tell their wrestlers to stop being as indolent as Jabba the Hut. I would give Impact! this week a good rating, but in all honesty, it's mostly because it seems like TNA has finally learned how to use their TV time well. A couple more weeks of good TV time like this and I think they could be ready for a two-hour time slot weekly, as opposed to once in a blue moon.
Well, that's going to do it for this review. Up next, I got Survivor Series, Raw from last week, the SmackDown! special, Heat, SmackDown!, Velocity, Impact!, and then Raw from last night. Like I said though, I'll catch up without a problem, so don't worry about a thing. Again, I'd like to advise you guys to check out the Triad Top 50 Columnists contest or whatever you want to call it. We need some more activity and who better to judge than the readers? Well, not much else left to say, so I guess I should end this. ‘Till next time, this is "Squared Circle Reviews" signing off and hoping you enjoy what you watch.
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