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The videos play and it's great to see a Web Show with freakin' wrestling clips in the video package. Seriously, how hard is it to ask for Heat to just put in a picture or two if anything?
Before we start with our first match, Dean naturally takes an opportunity to cut a promo and he beings to insult England saying they got smelly food and rotten food. He then asks for Phoenix's name and he supplies along with the information that he is from Sheffield, which got a huge pop. He then is asked to endorse the product, but doesn't want to, and is suckered punched by Dean. This is starting to get real old, real fast. Mix it up, Dean, for God's sake; anything besides the same old routine. It's good, but not twenty times in a row.
Simon Dean Vs. Taylor Phoenix
Match ran a little longer than you would think, and because of that, it was better than you would think. Dean is still getting a little repetitive, but he's still entertaining to watch in the ring. Phoenix is someone I'm still split on. The guy had more offense in this one as it was a better back and forth match, but he looked like he botched two or three moves like a Moonsault and a suplex. Those are basic moves right there; they aren't made to be botched. He was also flying a little too much for the offense he was getting from Dean. If I have my face trampled, I doubt I'd whirl around the ring like Harry Potter on a broom. Dean was unbelievable stiff in this match too with more kicks and shots to the head than usual; definitely something he needs to ante up more. In all honesty, Dean needs someone like Maven again to take under his wing and train. Someone like Kid Kash. It's not like he's doing anything else! That must be my motto because I've said it like three times this week already. Back to the match, it was like a longer version of any other Dean match you've seen, but because it was longer, Dean was force to incorporate some more stretches and moves besides his trademarks which made it different from the rest and ultimately better. In the end, he hit the Simonizer and got the easy win.
Winner: Simon Dean
Star Wrestler: Simon Dean
He basically gets this by default because I am still on the wall on Phoenix. He had a good outing on Heat, but this one was a little lackluster and his way of pumping the crowd really didn't work especially considering it's his hometown! Even more, if he didn't botch that Moonsault on purpose, I don't even want to know what he was trying to do or how he ended up like that cause it a was a train wreck that belonged back in training school. In the end, it looks like Phoenix is still green in the business, while Dean has mastered the stiff aspect (or WWE stiff) and used it to make jobbers like him cry for mommy.
Another Bret Hart DVD commercial is shown making me yearn more for some money so I can buy it or Christmas to come sooner. Whichever is more feasible.
Sylvan Vs. Funaki
Basic Sylvan match here with a little extra comedy and workrate thanks to our friendly, neighborhood announcer, Funaki! He was selling the moves like death, doing comedy like Robin Williams, and working as cruiser beast like Mysterio. Funaki was just great tonight while Sylvan left something to be desired. I like the throwback bearhug he used and the steel steps incorporation, but not much else he did fit in the scheme of things or in the flow of things. Sylvan just always seems out of place to me and is really the one guy I think WWE really can do without. WWE seems to have no plans for him, they aren't currently doing anything with him, he's stinking up the ring, and he's getting nothing from the crowd; why have him on? That thought is seriously always there when I look at this guy. Anyway, I loved Funaki's comeback and his eventual downfall. It was textbook, yet unique, and a good example to the cruisers backstage as to how to get over even though you're about one/third the size of everyone else. In the end, Funaki went for the Tornado DDT, but Sylvan spun him out and hit his DDT to him without the suplex kicker.
Winner: Sylvan
Star Wrestler: Funaki
Funaki was just firing on all cylinders tonight. His selling was air tight, his comeback meant something and was well placed, he drew the crowd into the match better than some guys who main event PPVs can, and he just got a decent match out of Sylvan which is saying a whole lot considering I am trying to write his singles career off as a bad dream. Why WWE never capitalized on Funaki is beyond me and I'd really like to see them make a move with him now. Maybe move him to Raw and pair him with Tajiri or feud him with Tajiri? I just might drool over that concept. All right, while I drool, you jot it down; Funaki is the star wrestler.
The HBK autobiography ad is then shown again and again I wish for money or Christmas now. Of course, no one answers my wishes ever.
WWE then shows a recap of Burchill/Regal versus Mysterio/JBL which was such a let-down because I was expecting an actual match, and a good one at that! They then show the Raw ambush and then it just ends. What the hell; why not recap the end of SmackDown? That seems way more relevant and important than this! Oh, well; I need to stop arguing with WWE. For one, they aren't going to listen. For two, they won't hear me.
MNM Vs. Shooting Stars
This was a damn fine tag match and proved just why the Shooting Stars are the most underutilized team in WWE today. Just think what we could have right now: LOD vs. British Lords in a number one contender's bout while the Stars take on MNM for the titles. Why couldn't and why wouldn't that work for Armageddon? Exactly; it could, would, and really should! London and Kendrick compliment each other so well and it's almost as if they have one mind. These two really need to be pushed up the ranks; if WWE thought they hit gold with Kidman and London, they have really seen nothing yet. I love that this match had a heel-in-peril spot to start as they worked over Nitro's left arm. You don't see too many of those spots in WWE at all nowadays. Even more, I absolutely loved how they kept it going by having Mercury accidentally hit it. Priceless stuff and it looks like someone's been studying old tag tapes. Kendrick and London definitely mesh well and their tag team psychology is the best thing they got going for each other. They used the five count to hit like three consecutive elbows to Nitro's left arm thus drawing it out and never letting him take a breather. Excellent stuff. Finally, the speed caught up to them and MNM got Kendrick and brought him into peril. They basically worked him over with a little more gimmick, and less workrate, but it seemed to work and the crowd loved it. By the time the hot tag came around, it looked like London had doused about twenty pixie sticks. My god, someone get the tape of his hot tag out to all the teams in WWE; show them how to work! In the end, London and Kendrick were doing great, but the numbers game (Melina) caught up to them and they hit the Snapshot onto London for the win.
Winners: MNM
Star Wrestler: Brian Kendrick
I really hate to give star wrestler nods to both members of the tag team, but sometimes it's necessary. In a team like this though, it really depends on who is on the offensive more. In this match, Kendrick took control early on and was flying everywhere with it and thus, he's going to get it. I loved his baseball slide spot too as he slid out only to be countered. He then was thrown into the ropes which he bounced off and hit a head scissors to take Nitro down. What a spot! MNM is a good team and I like them a lot, but it's very obvious who is the superior team here and they have more than three letters to their name. All the Shooting Stars need now is really a gimmick and a good starter feud to build them up. Sadly, with their size and the influx of tag teams, the best I see for them would be feuding and losing to the Dicks which would be as embarrassing as it would be detrimental to their momentum. Sad, sad, sad.
All in all, I thought Velocity this week was great, but nine times out of ten, Velocity will find a way to blow the other shows out of the water and do it. This time, Velocity gave us the best Sylvan match to date, a fun Dean squash, and an amazing tag match that should literally be shown to everyone in WWE. I think that's more than enough to get for a half-hour show, don't you? If only WWE could do as much with that time in the main shows as they do on these shows, they'd be set for life.
Well, I think I've said enough for this edition of "Squared Circle Reviews." Tonight, do not forget to join me at TheWrestlingVoice.com for a very, very special live edition of this reviewing series as I will be covering none other than WWE Survivor Series. Make sure to stop by as I always have fun with it. Even more, we are the fastest on the net at on-line coverage, whether reporting or reviewing the PPV. Why would you settle for anything but the fastest? For more information on the live coverage, just click here. Anyway, you'll see me next as I review TNA Impact! followed by Survivor Series and the usual week line-up. ‘Till next time though, this is "Squared Circle Reviews" signing off and hoping you enjoy what you watch.
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