Note: Make sure to join me tonight for a very special live edition of "Squared Circle Reviews" which will be covering WWE Survivor Series! For more information on this, just click here!
The normal videos here and there play as well as a recap of the recent SmackDown! versus Raw feud highlighting the Edge set-up from two weeks ago which laid out Batista followed by the inter-brand brawling that went down on Raw on Monday. It was good, but the whole show on Monday really didn't need to revolve around it. There are other feuds going on, you know? After all the videos, Michael Cole welcomes us to the show and pumps up the main event of Batista versus Orton for the title and Melina versus Christy Hemme. The latter is definitely a contender for match of the year just like Tyson Tomko versus Snitsky when that happens! Teddy Long is then shown backstage briefing the security on a possible invasion from Raw. Gee, I wonder if they will show.
Sharmell then makes her way out in a gown, gloves, and tiara. Jesus Christ, someone needs to get her back on the street corner unzipping someone's pants for crack. She's like the dirtier version of Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman, except she's got no class and pisses everyone off to no end. Ok, well maybe she's more like Julia Roberts than I think. Anyway, she introduces "her man" and Booker T comes out with the US title as they play a recap of Benoit losing the title. Like the Benoit mark in me will ever forget it.
WWE United States Championship
Booker T (c) Vs. Chris Benoit
Before I forget, commercial break times one equals, of course, a break from the match as it finally started to go somewhere. God, I hate that. It's the one big thing I hate about TV and why matches like Regal-Benoit from pre-internet Velocity don't appeal to me that much. Stupid reason I know, but the commercial break and knowing you missed out on like five minutes of action really gets to me. This was a good match, but definitely not up to par from their last match. That match had greatness written all over it; this one? Not even a little bit. One of the big things about the match was that it took them about ten minutes to do something. For ten minutes, it was basically chop, chop, chop, chop, suplex, recover, chop, chop, knee to the gut, chop, chop, chop, suplex, et cetera. They didn't do anything. Now, I understand there is a feeling out process in the beginning of the match, but it doesn't last ten minutes of a twenty minute match! Even if it does, you don't repeat the same spots and moves over and over again for those ten minutes! By the time they started to do something, they went to a commercial. God, I hate television. After the break, the match improved immensely because they were finally using their time right and doing something. Before the break, Booker and Benoit had fought on the apron (which was also nice but I forgot to mention it since I'm apparently so negative) and Booker rammed Benoit's shoulder into the steel post thus exposing it. Booker then went to town on the shoulder as we came back, but it didn't really last long as Benoit powered out and the see-saw continued. The match went on see-saw with basic spots and counters until Benoit went for the flying headbutt. Sharmell jumped on the apron and distracted one of the refs (one had taken a ref bump so there were now two out there) which gave time for Booker to hop up. More top rope spots need to pan out like that. Every time I see someone climb to the top rope, from Bryan Danielson to AJ Styles, I always cringe because really, who is going to lay down after a scoop slam and let you climb to the top and jump on you? Seriously, guys; who? When you have a situation like this, it adds more credibility to the match and just makes it more realistic in my eyes. I may be an anal idiot, but waiting five minutes for your opponent to climb and then hit you just exposes the business too much for my taste. In the end, Booker hit a Superplex onto Benoit and then they both kind of pinned each other with a hook of the legs and both of their shoulders were on the mat. Each ref said the other was the champ and it looks like we got ourselves a draw.
Winner: No Contest
Star Wrestler: Chris Benoit
After seeing the finish, I understand the complete see-saw nature of the match and it really makes sense, but it still doesn't make the match better. No offense, but the fact that they wasted ten minutes with the same procedure and spots over and over again really doesn't fly. Of course, Benoit was the star here. He's Chris freakin' Benoit. Seriously though, Booker just hasn't really adapted in the ring to his heel turn yet. He's still wrestling like a face, which could work in some situations, but not when he's full blown heel with his wife. Just doesn't work that way. As the feud doesn't look like it's ending, it'd be nice to see Booker once he finally adapts to being a full blown heel like he was in 2001 or 2004 again.
As the refs and wrestlers argue, we go to another break and another potty break for me.
Commercial break times two equals a good match that earns a pondering moment while I run to the bathroom between commercials.
Teddy Long is in the ring with the arguing people and he's got a mike and he calls for the replay. It then proves that no one got their shoulder up, so it looks like we got a clear ol' fashioned draw like I said. Sharmell then takes the mike, to the disdain of the crowd, and she tells Long that he knows when there is a tie, the champion keeps his title. Whoa, she's got a brain! Long then tells Benoit that he's not the champion and as Booker celebrates, Long decides that Booker isn't the champion either. He then says the title is currently vacant. Long then says they had an issue like this in WCW if he remembers, so how about a best of seven series for the title? Holy recycled storylines, Batman! Apparently, it's going to start at Survivor Series too. Well, at least we will be getting another match. I was thinking a five match card was weak for a while now, so it's nice to get something else going on.
JBL is then shown being led by security and he finds a van he thinks is full of Raw superstars. He opens it too find the Boogeyman reciting some Mary Poppins song. He then does his gimmick and slams the clock on his head, and JBL closes it and gets the Cena look his face like on Raw this past Monday. I think we should just call that the Boogeyman look for now on and as JBL masters it, we go to another break.
Commercial break times three equals a thought as to how long before Boogeyman gets in the ring, and what exactly that will end up like.
Back from break, they do a similar look around at Britain like they did on Raw and then we see the Dicks come out. Jesus Christ, these guys are even smaller than Tony Chimmel. I don't mind the gimmick as much as I do the size of them. Smaller than me, yet more body mass than Tomko; something doesn't add up there. Someone's being using the juice a bit too much, eh?
The Dicks Vs. Legion Of Doom
This was just a ridiculous match. It's not really anyone's fault, but just the idea that the Dicks could make Heidenreich into a face-in-peril has me scratching my head more than after a Vince Russo interview. The match was pretty basic and the Dicks stayed in control well, but the damn size advantage is just something I can't get over. I did really enjoy the beginning though as LOD totally demolished the Dicks with forearms and then the double Irish whip into each other. It just fell apart from there though. In the end, Animal got the hot tag (which was a ridiculous mess of no-selling and illogical wrestling), but the Dicks sprayed body lotion into his eyes. Animal acted blind and got a few shots in on the Dicks, but was then rolled up and got pinned via cheating. Classic heel cheating which should have had my interest spiked, but the damn size! I sound like a broken record, but even I'm taller!
Winners: The Dicks
Star Wrestler: Animal
God bless Animal for having to put up with this and do the job to the two rejects from the "new talent initiative." There really wasn't much to match and not much to judge on, so I'll just go on that. Good job, Animal, I guess. I know I'm being hard on the Dicks, and they really aren't that bad, but by god, they have no business in the ring with the Legion Of Doom, much less getting a win!
Afterwards, they hype up Matt Hardy versus Ken Kennedy coming up next which should be good.
Commercial break times four equals small, small, small wrestlers. Why are they not in the midget division? Oh, yeah; the juice.
Kennedy comes out and does his announcer gimmick. Why in the hell is he not on Team SmackDown? It really makes no sense to me. By putting Orton on SmackDown to fill the void, all it does is throw a wrench in the plans for Taker-Orton. Why not just insert Kennedy, who makes sense as he wrestled Eddie for the spot, and keep the Buried Alive match? Because it makes sense?
Ken Kennedy Vs. Matt Hardy
Good match here and better than I thought it would be. The opening trades were a little bland up until Hardy got on top (I forget how) and went for a Moonsault. He missed and it looked like they botched it as his head kind of flopped off of Kennedy's back as Kennedy rolled out of the way. From there, Hardy injured his ribs and Kennedy took him and sent him into the bottom portion of the steel post ribs first. He then started stretching him and opened him up to the Green Bay Plunge. Matt Hardy made a comeback from there which was pretty good as well and they got up top. Hardy countered out of the Plunge into a Bulldog which was very good and then Kennedy just lost it. Each of them was doing great at this point and the match just kept getting better and better. Kennedy then grabbed a chair and went to hit Hardy with it, but the ref grabbed it. Kennedy fought with the ref and jammed it into the ref's gut. The ref then DQed him, plain and simple. The look on Kennedy's face was priceless though when he realized what he had done as well as Matt Hardy's look. As the bell rang, Hardy just had this look like "Screw it" and just exited the ring. God, it was great and a good way to keep both stars' momentum going as opposed to lose-lose situations like Christian-Brown in TNA. Difference is, this one doesn't hinge on the main event picture.
Winner: Matt Hardy
Star Wrestler: Ken Kennedy
Ken Kennedy just edges past Hardy by a hair to get this and basically just because of the way he stretched Hardy. I loved him doing the bow and arrow modification using the steel post and like I said, his facials at the end were classic. I'd really like to see Kennedy on the Survivor Series card in an actual match, but it doesn't look like it's going to happen. It's a shame, because Kennedy needs a good twenty minute match to get his workrate going hardcore with his momentum. Otherwise, he's just going to plummet like Carlito whose popularity went up way too fast as he was still adapting to the WWE style. Anyway, still a damn fine match and a great effort by both men, but I wish Hardy would have sold a bit more like he had in the Edge feud. Then again, you can't really get a glazed look from being shot in the ribs.
Eric Bischoff is then shown arguing with security before Playa Long pops up. Bischoff tells Long that they are coming and some other vague generalization I didn't care to remember. Utterly pointless segment to water down what has been a good show thus far. Me no amused.
Commercial break times five equals maybe they should have thrown Kennedy into the mix for the US title and made a special stipulation going like the Round Robin tournament from ROH. Then again, I'm just rambling!
Christy Hemme Vs. Melina
Though I was very sarcastic in the opening, this was probably the best Diva match I've seen in a while. On a regular scale, it'd be about an average match, but judging it on par with the other Diva matches, this was great. It was hard hitting, fast paced, and made great strides in getting over Melina as a worker as opposed to just a manager. Her clotheslines, submissions, as well as that swinging face buster were just great to see from a Diva and the intensity she put out was bar none in the WWE right now for Divas, not even Victoria. If this is what Melina was doing down in OVW, then by god, why has it taken WWE so long to capitalize? After seeing this match, I really can't wait for Survivor Series; that may just be the best WWE women's match all year long! Christy also was pretty good here and you can tell she is still making some strides, but it was a definite carry job on Melina's part. Still, if WWE would put some time into Christy like they did Trish, I would love to see the end outcome especially with the work ethic Christy is rumored to have. In the end, Melina hit the facebuster I talked about earlier to end this great women's match.
Winner: Melina
Star Wrestler: Melina
Earlier this year (I think in August), these two had a match and it was just god awful. What the hell happened between then and now to warrant such an improvement? This was just clicking on all cylinders and not once did I think "another Diva screw-up" or anything along those lines. That tells me this was truly a great Diva match. It was really all Melina though as I said. Christy is still improving, but it's obvious why she is not in control of a match but for a few seconds, but hey; it worked! Melina flying at Christy after her comeback with that intensity was amazing and showed some great strides in women wrestling as well as foreshadowed a potentially good match coming this Sunday. Great match.
Batista is then backstage with the doctor who is taping him up and Randy Orton strolls in. Orton talks about how he hasn't been there for Batista in the past and they need to be on the same page. Orton then says he understands all about his injury since Batista gave him one, and he wants to make sure that Batista doesn't use it as an excuse when he beats him tonight because he knows he was better than Flair (pah!), better than Triple (pah!), and better than Batista (duh!). Batista then reminds Orton that he lost to Triple H while Batista beat him. Orton was kicked out while Batista left on his own terms. He then takes the title and leaves Orton stewing in rage. Kind of pointless segment unless they are going to have Orton turn on Batista Sunday, which would also be pointless as it's Raw versus SmackDown!, not random feuds culminating into a random survivor match. It was a good segment I could have seen happen in an actual feud, but given the time and circumstances, it was just plain idiotic.
Commercial break times six equals great women's match and horribly placed segment that would rival TNA's shoot comments after Eddie died.
Back from break, they show the footage of Nunzio winning the cruiser title in Italy from Juventud and it looks like we will be having a re-match later tonight. Gee, I wonder who will win considering house show changes always find their way back to the original owner. Right before the match, Carlito and Chris Masters make their way down with tickets in hand. Security runs out, but they got tickets, so what can you do?
WWE Cruiserweight Championship
Nunzio (c) Vs. Juventud
This match was pretty good and I liked it way better than the No Mercy match between the two. It was a good mix of fast paced, high impact, and ground based tactics which pretty much sums up the WWE cruiser division; a good blend as opposed to just aerial. I loved Vito just running in to push Nunzio aside as Juventud vaulted too. I would have like to see Juvi sell that a bit more, but time constraints do hurt and Nunzio did a good job of grounding him a bit to let it seep in. Juvi's power, power, power offense flowed well into it and Nunzio, normally the technician, was totally caught off his game. A match with that booking and story really should have happened at No Mercy and should really be given a lot more time. Like No Mercy, I wished the match had a bit more Mexicools/Vito mix up, but again, the time. Really, WWE should have just done a handicap match for Survivor Series with Vito/Nunzio against the Mexicools, or have Vito recruit someone for the team. It's not like the card is filled to the brim anyway. In the end, Juvi hit the Juvi Driver to pick up the win and regain the title, which seemed so predictable.
Winner: Juventud
Star Wrestler: Juventud
I think it's time to say it: Juvi has finally learned that less is more. Yes, he used a lot of high power moves, but they didn't no-sell anything in the match which is the problem with many faster paced wrestlers. He has finally adapted to the WWE style which is really why the match paid off in the end. I still think Nunzio is a better worker, but in here, it was all Juvi. His offense, selling, and control were all great and I loved the hit, hit, hit offense he nailed Nunzio with flowing right into the Juvi Driver. It showed the fire and passion to get the belt back in his eyes and to me, just proved that Juvi has committed himself to the WWE. Good for you, Juvi. I find it funny that they overshadowed a title change with the Raw storyline though since they were doing so good of not overshadowing anything so far. I guess you can't get everything perfectly.
Cole and Tazz then talk about Carlito and Masters at front row and then pump up the next match which is Mysterio and JBL versus Paul Burchill and William Regal.
Commercial break times seven equals amazement at how Mysterio and JBL went from bitter rivals to tag team partners in under a month. Amazing!
Back from break, Raw is still the hot topic as they go through the motions and run-down the Survivor Series card which is shaping up a lot better than I thought before hand. It's still not that good, but with the addition of Trish-Melina and Booker-Benoit, it's definitely a lot better than it was.
British Lords Vs. Rey Mysterio & John Bradshaw Layfield
God, it's great to see Regal and Burchill; it's not like WWE has done anything else with them sadly. I can't wait for a MNM-Lords feud with MNM as a face team. I think it would not only work, but work damn well. Again, I see another face I haven't seen in a while as Jillian Hall pops out of the limo with JBL. I don't get it; if she's with JBL, where has she been for the past month or so? Why have a manager if you aren't going to use him/her at all? It doesn't make sense! Ah, my head hurts. Anyway, the match was decent, I guess. It was about three minutes long or so and didn't involve much except a Rey Mysterio counter offense so the Lords basically played jobbers today. Get my hopes up for nothing, why don't you? In the end, Mysterio and JBL had it won, but Shawn Michaels popped up and nailed some music to JBL's chin. A huge melee then ensued like the end of Raw and just like at the end of Raw, there was no bell to signify anything. For all I know, just like that match, this one could still be going on! How hard is it to just shake your arm and say ring the bell? Really, even Hebner could do it when you didn't need to! We need same Jeff Capo style refs up in WWE.
Winners: No Contest
Star Wrestler: Rey Mysterio
The guy did have some good counter offense, and that's pretty much all I saw. Plus, he's my girlfriend's favorite wrestler, so why not?
After the match, security chases off Shawn Michaels and Carlito and Masters hop into the ring to beat down Mysterio. The locker room then pours out to chase out Masters and Carlito and SmackDown has been hit hard!
Commercial break times eight equals I want my Lords tag match. I need my Regal fix!
Orlando Jordan Vs. Lashley
This was basically like a Monty Brown style squash except drawn out a little more with a couple more moves. Good decision having this squash too because it's gets over Lashley a bit more considering he may be the dark horse out of both teams. Masters has been in the upper mid-card with HBK, HBK is HBK, Show and Kane are former and current champs of all sort, Carlito is a former US/IC champ, JBL is a former champ, Rey is Rey, Orton is Orton, Batista is the champ, but what the hell is Lashley? A match like this does do well in the long run even if it bores you because it gets over a rookie some more when that rookie really needs it going into such a highly anticipated match. As much as I hate to say it, it seems obvious that Lashley will be one of the first to go. Based on what I just said, it would really lower anyone else in the match too much for Lashley to pin them and I doubt they want to keep Lashley, the power man, in the match for other than that. Oh, crap; I'm supposed to be talking about the match. After some suplexes and punches, Lashley hit the Dominator and got the win! Happy?
Winner: Lashley
Star Wrestler: Orlando Jordan
Don't look at me like that, I just feel bad for the guy. Since August, he's become the running joke of jobbers in SmackDown! and considering he had a very long title run and is still half-way decent in the ring, I feel sorry for him to be squashed and de-pushed as much as he has. Methinks this guy will be the one doing the job for Boogeyman on his debut.
Teddy Long is then being led to the parking lot by a ref and the security has been laid out by Raw wrestlers apparently. With that thought, Long decides he wants the entire locker room out there protecting Orton and Batista for the next match. So you just want a useless lumberjack match like Monday?
Commercial break times nine equals a huge roster to circle the ring lumberjack style, except it's not a lumberjack match; it's no holds barred!
Back from break, the entire locker room is out around the ring guarding it from Raw. So what happens when someone goes outside; they're on their own? Or can we just call this a lumberjack match and have some continuity?
WWE World Heavyweight Championship
No Holds Barred
Batista (c) Vs. Randy Orton
Oh, god; the Dicks are at ringside. I almost forgot! Must...control...the urge...to complain! Phew, I think I got it under control. Orton and Batista start it off with tie-ups, but Batista backs away due to his injury, which probably would have turned into an interesting part in the match. However, the Raw roster ran out and around the fourth melee in a week happened and again, no bell. This time it was no holds barred, so I think I can let it go, but I'm not going to forget those other two times. Damn refs.
Winner: No Contest
Star Wrestler: Randy Orton
Like I said for Tajiri-Conway, the match was five seconds, but we knew how it was going to go.
The huge brawl ensues and eventually, Orton makes his way into the ring with the Rednecks and RKOs both of them. He then turns around and walks right into some hard chin music from Shawn Michaels though. Damn, that's got to hurt! Rey then jumps onto HBK taking him down and setting him up for the 619, which he nails. Carlito then jumps in and grabs hold of Rey for the swinging neckbreaker. See where I'm going with this? Good, I can stop typing. Eventually, Batista makes the save to Mysterio and gets ganged up on by Show and Kane, but powers out somehow. The numbers game, as Tazz put it so eloquently, catches up to him and Show and Kane then Chokeslam Batista right through the announcer table and Raw stands tall as SmackDown! goes off the air. I wonder who is being booked as superior now.
Overall, this was a damn fine SmackDown! and probably one of the best of the year. Eight matches, with one being a squash and two ending quickly for no contest endings due to Raw/SD storyline. I love how the show revolved around Raw/SD, but didn't take away from other storylines. Benoit-Booker got around twenty minutes, Melina was booked strong, the Dicks made their debut (ha!), Hardy-Kennedy kept going strong, et cetera. On Raw, all they did was Raw/SD stuff except for Cena/Jericho. Everything else had zero time or as close to it as possible. The only real criticism I have for this show was the Orton-Batista rift that sprouted up which tells me that Orton may turn on Batista Sunday, which would be completely idiotic. I want one storyline at one time right now: SmackDown! versus Raw. I don't want six other feuds intertwined like normal, because it's not a normal survivor series match, now is it? Other than that, this was a damn fine SmackDown! and definitely the best way to pump up the audience before Sunday. Before this show, I was positive that Survivor Series was going to be horrible; now? I have no idea, but I truly want to find out.
Well, I think that about does it for this edition of "Squared Circle Reviews." Tonight, do not forget to join me at TheWrestlingVoice.com for a very, very special live edition of this reviewing series as I will be covering none other than WWE Survivor Series. Make sure to stop by as I always have fun with it. Even more, we are the fastest on the net at on-line coverage, whether reporting or reviewing the PPV. Why would you settle for anything but the fastest? For more information on the live coverage, just click here. Anyway, you'll see me next as I review WWE Velocity and TNA Impact followed by Survivor Series live tonight! 'Till next time though, this is "Squared Circle Reviews" signing off and hoping you enjoy what you watch.
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