The sweet new WWE intro package plays followed by the Velocity package (which is sadly better than SmackDown!'s by far) and we go right into the WWE.com web cast of Velocity. Whoever thought to put Velocity and Heat on WWE.com needs a medal. A big one too. Ten times the size of Angle's. No commercials, you can fast-forward, little-to-no recaps, and an overall solid show. Thank God.
MNM Vs. Jared Steele & Jakas Plisken
First off, as the announcers stated many times, what the hell kind of name is Jakas Plisken? Second off, this match was pretty good for what it was. I was expecting a crappy squash, but got a well-thought out squash which really opened up Velocity well. MNM is such a great tag team. They are improving a lot on their mannerisms and move-set to incorporate their gimmick and not just that of the Snapshot. For instance, Nitro did a break dancing kick to the head of Steele. I don't know if he's done this before, but it was damn impressive. It was flashy too, but unlike other flashy moves (Canadian Destroyer, anyone?), this one made sense in the strategy of MNM. Plus, their gimmick is being flashy so nitpicking won't be as effective here. This was just a fun little match and the crowd was really behind it and it looks like MNM's new move-set got really over which is a good thing heading into No Mercy. Steele sold really well in this match for MNM and sadly, I can't judge Jakas that much since he was only in for a few seconds. Finish came when Melina called for the Snapshot. Like a genius tag team, Nitro tagged in Mercury. Nitro then ran to take out Steele on the apron as Mercury grabbed Plisken. They set up the move, hit it after softening up the neck, and got a good win in a solid opener.
Winners: MNM
Star Wrestler: Johnny Nitro
It was a good match for what it was and Nitro is to credit for a lot of it as his new offense is just impressive like his flashy flip-over elbow drop from the apron as well as that break dancing move I told you about. It's flashy (which fits into the gimmick) and makes sense. The best of both worlds! It's nice to see at least one guy from Tough Enough is making an impact in WWE.
They show the "WWE Slam Of The Week" which is Ken Kennedy nailing Hardcore Holly with a mike in his match with Sylvan causing Holly to lose. They then show Kennedy screaming at the "loser" Holly in what probably was the one moment that solidified all the hype about Mr. Kennedy.
Ken Kennedy Vs. Russell Simpson
Jeez, this is the third time Simpson has been on WWE TV. He was on Heat last Friday against Matt Hardy; then he was on SmackDown! against Bobby Lashley; and now this? I think this is a sign that someone backstage thinks he has something if they keep looking at him. Good luck, Russell. Kennedy comes out and again yells at Chimel who looks like he's going to cry. As he goes to leave, Kennedy stops him and asks him what that is. He then pretends to pull a doughnut (that he had in his hand all along) from Chimel's pocket. He than yells at Chimel to open his mouth wide. He shoves it in his mouth and tells him to go sit down and eat his jelly doughnut, fatty! Jesus Christ, that is all sorts of laughing out loud comedy right there. God, I love you Kennedy. Kennedy then does his normal shtick after licking his fingers from the jelly. Match was all right, but too much of a one-sided squash. Not as much weight to the squash as the earlier one tonight. I also realized something: this crowd is more reactive for this match and the match before than most of the matches on SmackDown! That's really pathetic. Anyway, the match was still enjoyable because of some keen spots. One that really stood out in my mind was Kennedy missing a kick due to Simpson ducking. Kennedy spun through and then hit an enziguri which got a huge groan from the crowd. Another good one was Kennedy using Samoa Joe's ole spot in the turnbuckle corner which also got another groan. Simpson was good here trying to rile up the crowd and impress someone backstage, and in the end, Kennedy hit his Inverted Samoan Drop off the top for the win.
Winner: Ken Kennedy
Star Wrestler: Ken Kennedy
Simpson didn't do much here and wasn't really booked too either, but Kennedy's offense was great in getting over with the crowd as well as his mannerisms. The guy is going to be a huge star in WWE and anyone who doesn't see it at this point is blind and idiotic. After the match, he adds to the praise he gets by adding, "Your winner...of course...Mr. Kennedy." He then teases with the crowd and mixes it up a bit before repeating his last statement and solidifying himself as SmackDown!'s hottest rookie!
They then show the only recap of the show (so good to say that) which is the main event from SmackDown! I already talked about that in my SD review, so I'm just going to move on.
Simon Dean then comes out and does a promo putting over his Simon System. I haven't seen one of these style promos in a while so it was a little more enjoyable had I just watched one on SmackDown! He says the crowd needs proof of his system working so he brings out a hot girl he says was once 350 pounds. She's now at most 125 pounds and Simon just goes on about the product. He then puts over the match with Lashley at No Mercy saying he will be begging Simon for mercy. It was an entertaining segment, but nothing really memorable or noteworthy; it was about what you would expect from the Dean Machine. It was still worth it to see the little Dean vehicle though. I would so buy one of those if ShopZone came out with it. Imagine how pimp it would be to ride up and down the street in that. Well, before you get beat up at least.
Number One Contendership For WWE Cruiserweight Championship
Battle Royal
Scotty 2 Hotty, Funaki, Brian Kendrick, Paul London, Juventud, Psicosis, & Super Crazy
This battle royal started off average, got good/great when it got down to the last three, and then became the greatest battle royal I've ever seen (excluding Royal Rumbles and other battle royals with special stipulations) with the last two guys. Like I said, it just started off normal with some good spots here and there. Psicosis was eliminated by Spanky. Super Crazy then eliminated Funaki and Scotty 2 Hotty. Super Crazy's eliminating style was good too. He kind of rolled through a tornado DDT from Funaki to send Funaki out and after Scotty skinned the cat and had his energy wasted, Super Crazy clotheslined him right out. There was some confusion between Super Crazy and Juventud next as Super Crazy almost eliminated Juvi. Juvi got pissed and when London dropkicked Super Crazy to the ropes, Juvi held them down to eliminate Super Crazy. Spanky, Juvi, and London really turned it up here and London and Spanky did some nice double team on Juvi. Spanky got eliminated when he went for some kind of move on Juvi in the corner by jumping and London just pushed him out. This, my friends, is where the heat truly turned up. London and Juvi wrote the book here on apron fighting even to the point where they were on the opposite sides of one corner and Juvi flipped over trying to hit a sunset flip. I loved watching London carry Juvi around on his shoulders trying to dump him out; and he when he couldn't, he just dropped him for a great slam. After that sunset flip I mentioned, both of them were in a "skinning-the-cat" position holding the ropes. They started to kick each other and what-not, but when London tried to jump up to the top, Juvi kicked him in square face and got the win in this classic Battle Royal. Juvi then locked eyes with Nunzio who came out with Vito in the beginning as London sold the kick like death on the outside.
Order of elimination: Psicosis, Funaki, Scotty 2 Hotty, Super Crazy, Spanky, & Paul London
Winner: Juventud
Star Wrestler: Paul London
I really enjoyed Juvi in this match as up until now, he's been on the negative side of my scale. I just don't think the Mexicools' style of wrestling fits in with WWE. Obviously that isn't the case anymore after this one; with Super's control and Juvi's comeback, all were great in this one. But London was the star through and through. He utilized basic battle royal/royal rumble strategy: hiding out in the corner for a bit, always on the attack, constantly trying to push someone out through anything like Spanky's elimination, and countering anything from an attempted elimination to a devastating move. It's great to see London giving a damn in WWE again as since he lost the strap, he's been holding back for obvious reasons. One more time: truly classic match! Go download this now!
Velocity this week started off good, but not as good as the one from last week. It had two squashes which were good, but had no real weight to them. Dean's promo was good, but also didn't push it to a better Velocity than last week. By the end of the Battle Royal though, this was undoubtedly a "must see" episode of Velocity. It was solid through and through and I can see why WWE put the squashes and promo in it if they are just going to have a fifteen minute godly battle royal that needed those two matches and one promo worth of build-up. Man, this was great.
That's going to wrap it up from this reviewer this time. Don't forget to miss the very special live edition of "Squared Circle Reviews" tonight on No Mercy. I can personally guarantee you that of all the live coverage on the net. "Squared Circle Reviews" will bring you the best, most in-depth, fastest, and most entertaining coverage. Don't miss what people herald as the best coverage on the net. For more information on the live edition of "Squared Circle Reviews," click here. 'Till then, this is "Squared Circle Reviews" signing off and hoping you enjoy what you watch.
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