The last Raw from Spike TV starts off from Waco, TX with good ol' JR informing us that there will be a tag team tables match in the main event, as Shawn Michaels & John Cena take on Carlito & Chris Masters. Now, I'm a pretty big fan of tables matches, but what point do any of these four have in being in a tables match? Seriously!
Vince McMahon's music hits and we go right into the big announcement. McMahon then talks about how this is the last Raw on Spike TV. He actually even thanked Spike TV for the time spent! That was actually pretty cool of McMahon to do. The next thing that happened was definitely not cool, as Carlito would say. McMahon proceeded to talk about the move to USA Network, but Spike TV censored him. How dumb is that? Seriously, it's low, immature, and completely unprofessional. For once, Vince actually took the high road while someone took the low road. What a shocker. You can actually check out a pretty funny cartoon about this by clicking here. Anyway, Angle eventually came out and wanted to be the number one contender to John Cena at Taboo Tuesday since he won at Unforgiven. Shawn Michaels came out and cut a typical comedic promo saying, "Well, hey! I won at Unforgiven too." They then announced a thirty minute Iron Man match for Raw Homecoming that will determine the number one contender and be the rubber match in the series. This match should be pretty good, but WWE TV Iron Man matches definitely do not come off that well. Angle-Lesnar sucked, in my opinion, and Benoit-Triple H had a lot of problems as well. After the two bickered some more, Vince demanded that the championship match start to kick off Raw.
WWE Women's Championship
Trish Stratus (c) Vs. Victoria
This was a pretty good match for Trish's legit first match back, and it's nice finally seeing the Women's title being defended again on Raw. The three bimbos of Ashley, Torrie, and Candice were all at ringside and definitely dropped the quality of the match down a peg or two. You wouldn't think that 3 dumb chicks at ringside would be able to drop the quality of a match so much, but trust me. They did. Match was still pretty good, but it's fairly obvious that Trish has some ring rust. I'm not bitching because everyone gets it, but it's still not enough for me to overlook whether a match is great or good. Victoria was in rare form tonight here and it is great to have the Trish-Victoria feud that made 2002 pretty good back. Pyscho Victoria will always own in any other WWE women's gimmick. Always! There was a really cool spot where Trish went for the Stratusphere while Victoria was on the top rope. Victoria pulled her up which was impressive and the two started trading it out before falling to the outside. It was a pretty fun spot and I don't think the two have ever done it before. Finish came when Trish used the Matrix to duck Victoria and then hit the Stratusfaction. Torrie and Candice jumped in and beat down Trish causing the DQ. The Stratusfaction was a huge ring rust spot. Trish held onto Victoria's head for a good forty-five seconds before doing the move. Now I know a lot of moves set up like the Scissors Kick exposes the business, but holding onto an opponent's head for a good minute before doing something (and not even holding that tight) is pure exposure.
Winner: Trish Stratus
Star Wrestler: Victoria
Trish was pretty good in this match for her first real match back, but Victoria was the definite star with spots like the reverse bridging chin lock and lifting Trish out of the Stratusphere. I really hope they put some seeds into a serious Victoria-Trish feud for the next few months. I know it will most likely involve the other three bimbos, but they will still deliver some good matches.
After the match, Trish and Ashley fought off the three and stripped Candice down to her bra and panties. Candice whined about being embarrassed. Why? You're the one who wants to do Playboy and it's not like your outfits are less revealing. They challenged the two to a handicap bra and panties match for next week. Hurray for the wrestling fans, huh? Pointless segment and a true testament to why Candice should never be given a microphone.
Before we go to break, we see Big Show walking backstage and we will get a street fight when we get back! Sweet!
Commercial break number one.
Street Fight
Big Show Vs. Gene Snitsky
For a street fight, this was pretty bad, but then again, these two obviously don't have the same kind of chemistry Kane and Snitsky did. It lasted like seriously two minutes, was all Big Show offense, and either wrestler barely had a chance to sell much considering they probably were told to put X amount of spots into such a small time span. It was just a bad match. I enjoyed some spots though, like Show slamming Snitsky into the trash can and Show bringing the kitchen sink out, but there wasn't any story to the match. No in-between, no build-up during the match, nothing! It was just pretty bad. Finish came when Show hit Snitsky hard with the kitchen sink and got the win.
Winner: Big Show
Star Wrestler: Big Show
I don't really put the blame on either wrestler for this match, rather the time given. Obviously, their Unforgiven match was the pits, but why in the hell would you do such a short street fight? It makes no sense and virtually squashes Snitsky, who, whether you like him or not, is a good filler heel to have. Show was definitely the star though. Ever since they have started to push him more like Andre, he has gotten miles better and I think he is at the peak of his career right now. He may be having stinker matches, but I think we know who to blame it on. Show is playing with the crowd more than ever, acting more and more like the gimmick wrestler he should be, and just overall being better than any time of his career. I only wish they would push Show with some good wrestlers to get some good matches, because I think he's up to the task right now.
After the match, Coach talks about the censorship. Good too, since I didn't think they would address that. They said to head over to WWE.com to hear the uncensored speech. Take that Spike TV!
We see Flair backstage with some Diva Search idiot and then they show the beat down Flair got from Masters and Carlito and go right into a commercial.
Commercial break number two.
Back from break, Flair comes out and cuts what started off as a great promo, but quickly turned into an ass-kissing fair for Triple H. They ended by showing a video package about Triple H in case we forgot about him. What the hell? The guy has been on top for 5 straight years now. He's only been gone for about less than four months. Yeah, we are really going to forget him in that time. Stop shoving stars down our throats, WWE. Triple H would be over with or without this insanely idiotic package. I did enjoy them using the Drowning Pool song during it though. I hate Motorhead with a burning passion and always enjoyed DP's version of the song much better.
After the package, Eric Bischoff is in his office talking on the cell phone with someone about next week. Cena comes in and grabs his phone screaming, "He'll call you back." Like Cena or not in the ring, he's pretty entertaining in segments and on the mike. The guy oozes charisma. I just wish he would ooze workrate too. Cena then cut Eric down talking about his Kung Fu and they basically just hyped up next week's match. It was an all right segment, but kind of pointless, and we go right to a commercial. So for this little stretch of TV time, we got Flair kissing up to Triple H and a pointless segment. Great. Thanks, WWE!
Commercial break numero tres! That's right. Squared Circle Reviews is coming to you in bilingual format now! Well, as best as I can give to you which basically just means numbers.
They show the WWE Rewind and it's basically just a package hyping up Shelton Benjamin.
Shelton Benjamin Vs. Kerwin White
Kerwin comes out with his caddy and before the match, Shelton says it's great he's got one because now someone can carry his clubs and wash his balls. I really didn't find that that funny. Someone just take the mike away from him unless he's got someone to actually go back-and-forth with. Match was all right, but not as good as you would think. Kerwin looked a little lost before going into first rest hold. Either he forgot what spot was coming or he was just virtually confused. Came off a little bad. Shelton came off a little confused during the match too while selling. His selling was just not on the up-and-up with the offense Kerwin was giving him. Shelton did have some nice spots though like him using his cat-like reflexes to remedy a missed Stinger Splash into a flying clothesline off the top rope. What I love about Shelton is that he's got all the athleticism of any cruiser out there, but he doesn't need to flip around the ring constantly. If you think about it, Shelton is flashy, but not too flashy. Instead of flipping six times onto the opponent from the top rope, he just does a clothesline. Instead of doing springboard 450s, he just does a bulldog. Now, yes, Shelton is the size of a bigger man, but he can still do the moves. He's got the athleticism part down, but he's also got a pretty decent worker's knowledge which a lot of monkeys out there like Teddy Hart and Jack Evans need to hone in on. Back on track, finish was a little botched as Shelton tried to suplex Kerwin from the apron back into the ring. Kerwin reversed it and covered Shelton for the win. I say botched because Shelton was barely selling the finish and it looks like there was supposed to be a lot more.
Winner: Kerwin White
Star Wrestler: Kerwin White
The match was just full of miscommunication and it looks like they did a lot of things on the fly. For a worker from the legendary Guerrero family, that's not a problem. But for a guy like Shelton who most likely maps out every spot before the match? Houston, we did have a problem. Shelton's still good in my opinion, but he was just off in this match with the selling and coordinating with Kerwin's offense. I don't know what exactly happened, but it looks like miscommunication to me. Without Kerwin to guide Shelton, this match would have been a lot worse than just the average match it turned into.
Before we head to break, we see a ladder being set up so it's pretty obvious we are going to get an Eddie Guerrero style promo from Edge coming up.
Commercial break number four!
Back from break, the lights are dimmed and out come Edge and Lita. Edge climbs the ladder and delivers a solid promo. He talks about his record in ladder matches, how he will win, et cetera. Typical stuff, but Edge is a good talker so of course it was good. Hardy came out to interrupt the promo and Lita ran away. Edge was sitting on the top so Matt kept teasing to push him over. This spot took way too long and showed Hardy's faults a little too much for my taste. It reminded me of the spot from Summerslam when Rey Mysterio was trapped under the ladder. Good spot, but took way too long. Hardy eventually pushed Edge off and Edge took a sick bump and was out as Hardy stood tall. Good promo followed by a mediocre run-in. These two may deliver earth shattering matches, but segments together they do not.
We then go backstage and see Teddy Long waltz into Bischoff's office and Long proposes an idea. A SmackDown! match on Raw Homecoming. Naturally, Bischoff hated the idea. Then McMahon strolled in and loved Long's idea. Naturally, Bischoff then loved the idea. I think this is a great idea though to give SD a little bit of a push that it needs in the time of its lowest ratings. I would love to see a match like a six way or Survivor Series match. I think it could be a good thing. After Long left, Bischoff tried to get out of his match with Cena but Vince talked him back into it. Pretty good segment, I thought, and we are heading into another commercial.
Commercial break number five.
Ladies' Men Vs. Ragin' Rednecks
This non-title match-up was pretty average. There wasn't really anything of out of the ordinary, but not anything worthy of a "dud" brandishing. I still think the Ragin' Rednecks are still a bit green as a team together, but I have faith that with Cade's workrate and Murdoch's character, they are going to lift this team to a pretty good place. The Ladies' Men team also has a bit of potential, I think, and will actually give Val Venis a purpose on WWE television once again. This is probably the best place to have Viscera in and the way they are using him in the team so far is pretty good in my mind. As long as Viscera isn't the face-in-peril or isn't in the match most of the time, the team will work. If those two don't happen, then Viscera's workrate could bring the team down substantially. Again, nothing noteworthy here, but I'm the wrong guy to ask. I'm not big on tag teams, especially in WWE. Finish was pretty good, I thought, in terms of getting Cade over. Venis had the match won and right as the ref brought his hand down for three, Cade grabbed his arm and prevented him. That's a lot different than just attacking the ref or pulling him out and is a direct DQ, like he owned up to his actions. That's the kind of heel team that will work in a vacant tag division.
Winners: Ladies' Men
Star Wrestler: Val Venis
It's no doubt who was the star here. Cade may have an illustrious career ahead of him and Murdoch could, but Venis is still a freakin' workhouse. Venis' offense is always top notch as is his rapport with the crowd and selling. I'm really happy to see him get more exposure on Raw.
Before the break, we get a pretty bad take on a comedic segment involving Carlito and Masters. I don't think it was that bad, rather just so utterly predictable and cliché. They basically just bitched about being in the tables match tonight and Carlito just doesn't want splinters. Both men have done way better promos/segments. This was just bad.
Lucky break number six!
Eugene Vs. Rob Conway
I enjoyed this match a lot more than I should have. Workrate wise, it was shit. Comedic wise, it was great. I don't care what anyone says, Eugene is a good wrestler to have on Raw. He's a solid character and when he is in the big situations, he can work his ass off like at Summerslam 2004. I think another thing I loved about this match was the Shawn Michaels teddy bear. Eugene brought it to the ring and kept playing it with during the match. Definitely a great comedic spot. I also loved Eugene playing off Conway's gimmick so much. It was great. I know this match wasn't that great, but it's matches like this that have me tune into Raw. They aren't earth shattering, but definite ways of getting over people and hopefully, setting the seeds for future feuds. I would love to see a feud between these two. Finish came when Conway, who got some huge heat for this, ripped apart the teddy bear making Eugene cry. He then gives him the Ego Trip for the win.
Winner: Rob Conway
Star Wrestler: Eugene
Not too many wrestlers can play a convincing face crying over a ripped teddy bear. I'm dead serious. The Eugene gimmick may not get over well with smarks, but I don't care. It's entertaining and is a great venue for newer heels to get over. Conway got the biggest heat of his singles career in WWE here. ‘Nuff said. I would have loved to have Shawn Michaels come out and give Eugene a signed bear or something. That would have gotten HBK over immensely too. It's not like he needs it though. Anyway, Eugene is definitely the star in the match I enjoyed a wee too much.
We then get the SmackDown! Rebound about Eddie and Batista and go right into the next commercial break. Of course it's not the last one.
Commercial break number seven.
Back from break, the announcers run down the card for Raw Homecoming. Carlito and Masters come to the ring, but we go to our commercial break in an utterly pointless TV stretch.
Commercial break number eight. Still not the last one, guys.
Tables Match
Shawn Michaels & John Cena Vs. Carlito & Chris Masters
Before I forget, during the match, they had commercial break number nine! If it makes you feel better though, the last 50 minute TNA Impact! I watched had six breaks. Six! Anyway, for starters, why the hell was Carlito in this match? Carlito is in or was in a feud with Flair. Now I know they had the whole Michaels/Masters-Flair/Carlito thing going on, but I don't see Flair anywhere near this. This match definitely should have Angle in it. I don't think Angle would have made the match better or worse, but it definitely would have made more sense. This match was just not good at all. Cena's offense is severely lacking and since there was no true heel to carry him, the match had a lot of bad spots with Cena doing the same thing over and over again. They did do a good job of teasing the tables though, but in all honesty, not many matches do a bad job of that. I try to find the good in all matches, but in a match where the main focus has about six moves and then the heels don't take many bumps, it's kind of hard to do. Without Michaels though, I definitely would have been bored out of my mind as opposed to slightly bored. Finish came when Michaels went for the elbow drop onto Masters on the table. Angle and Bischoff came out and Angle pushed Michaels off the top as Masters rolled through. Michaels went through the table and that was it!
Winner: Carlito & Chris Masters
Star Wrestler: Shawn Michaels
Shawn Michaels was definitely working has ass off to make this match bearable. One thing I did notice during this match was that the two best workers WWE has right now, Eddie Guerrero & Shawn Michaels, are both on top or near the top on both shows. That speaks highly on WWE's ability to judge talent for all you anti-WWE fans out there. No one has had quite a year like these two this year. Michaels did a good job here, though there just wasn't much else to work with. I loved him doing the 5 Knuckle Shuffle with John Cena. I love when he does shit like that such as him posing with Hogan or him doing everyone's pose from last week. It's just hilarious to see Michaels getting over people so much when he used to be appalled by the idea of getting someone else over besides himself.
After the match, Cena gets put through a table thanks to an Angle Slam and Bischoff poses with the belt as the last WWE Raw on Spike TV (hopefully ever) goes off the air!
Overall, I enjoyed the show. Definitely not as good as last week's, but still enjoyable I thought. This kind of Raw shows what kind of fan you are though. Though I see all their problems, I enjoy the WWE product so I enjoyed the show. TNA fans, puro fans, et cetera wouldn't enjoy this show as much. Common sense. The show was split on good matches/segments vs. bad segments/matches. Completely split. There was nothing earth-shattering about the show; however, there were definitely two dud moments in the Street Fight and giving the Candice the mike. I think the show definitely delivered on its purpose which was to get over next week's show. Despite some segments and matches I don't want, you can't deny WWE has you pumped for next week! All in all, I enjoyed the show and that's enough for me. That's pretty much it for this review, so time to sign off! ‘Till next time here at "Squared Circle Reviews," here's hoping you enjoy what you watch!
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