Summerslam was definitely a night that won't escape my memories any time soon. From blood baths to family battles, it literally had everything you could want (unless you're a fan of tag team wrestling). Well, why waste time? Let's get right into it.
Summerslam opens up with a beautiful rendition of the USA national anthem as sung by Lillian Garcia, of course. Absolutely wonderful way to celebrate Summerslam from our nation's capital. From there, a nice video package comes on highlighting all the matches tonight, and ending on the high note of Hogan-Michaels. Good video package as compared to the generic ones that highlight one or two matches. From there, we go straight into our first match.
WWE United States Championship
Orlando Jordan (c) Vs. Chris Benoit
As Jordan comes out, the commentating team tells us that Jordan has been champion for five months and eighteen days. Jesus Christ. The sad thing is that besides this match and the one at Great American Bash, no one can remember one other title match he was in. That's sad. Jordan practices his boxing before the match starts. I wish we would see more of his boxing background instead of him just doing the shuffle. As the bell rings, Jordan cheap shots Benoit, but Benoit then hits the German Suplex and then locks in the Crippler Crossface! Holy hell, Jordan taps out in less than 25 seconds! Now, that is the perfect way to open the night!
Winner & New WWE United States Champion: Chris Benoit
Star Wrestler: Chris Benoit
Of course I'm going to give it to the Rabid Wolverine. The crowd went nuts. Sure, bitch and moan about how short it was and how weak it made Jordan look, but this was probably the best opening to a WWE PPV I have ever seen. Whoever booked that match deserves a medal that says, "I know how to warm up a crowd."
We then cut backstage and see Vicki Guerrero with Eddie, and she says they "need to talk." That's never good. Vicki says it's not about Dominick, but Rey. Eddie says she is wrong and it's mostly about Dominick. It's about continuing the Guerrero legacy and if she can't understand that, she's crazier than he is. Vicki then strokes his ego a bit talking about the man she loves, and Eddie does some nice comedic agreeing with her. She then says that the man she loves wouldn't do this, and Eddie explodes and says that even she doesn't think he can beat Rey; no one does. She runs off, and Eddie sits there alone ending this masterful segment by questioning if he can beat Rey.
A video package for Hardy-Edge rolls. During it, I realize Edge has really good mike skills. I mean really good. Like him or hate him in the ring, but the guy can talk better than most in WWE. Anyway, we are ready to go right into an all-out war!
Matt Hardy Vs. Edge
After both come out, Hardy jumps onto Edge on the outside and he starts to throw Mr. Money in the Bank everywhere on the outside. Edge ducks into the ring, but Hardy jumps right back on him continiung the assault. Hardy grabs a choke onto Edge, but Edge gets to the rope so Hardy has to break. Hardy keeps the control as Edge cowers until Edge nails a cheap shot to Hardy and the tide shifts. The crowd is digging this match as much as I am. You can feel the hatred. The ref starts to pull Edge away from Hardy, but it's not really successful. Hardy gets onto the apron somehow and Edge bounces off the opposite side and spears Hardy straight through the ropes. Man, what a great spot, and the stiffness in this match adds to it immensely. The two bitter rivals get back in and Hardy starts to go to town on Edge some more and they get into the corner. Hardy mounts Edge and one of the best spots in WWE this year occurs. Edge pushes Hardy up as Hardy is giving him some mounted spots, and Hardy falls straight down, head first, to the steel post and bounces off. There was no arm to block it, no cushion, nothing. Hardy literally fell and bounced off it. The crowd even gasped for it. That goes to show you how intense of a spot it was. Edge brings him back into the ring and Hardy is busted open and wearing a huge crimson mask. Edge goes on the offense with some stiff knees to the face, but the ref keeps pulling him back and asking if Hardy is ok. Eventually, Hardy collapses on his own weight and the ref calls for the bell. Hardy is out of it.
Winner: Edge
Star Wrestler: Matt Hardy
A lot of people were pissed with the finish to this match and I was at first. WWE didn't do a good job showing the selling Hardy was doing, so Hardy didn't look too out of it until after the match. Had the cameras been on Hardy more, it would come off a lot better. A lot of people were also pissed that Hogan bled more than Hardy, yet this match was called off. There was a big difference: Hogan wasn't passing out, Hardy was! All in all, this was an excellent match and Hardy came off as the star in it with his opening assault and his selling in it. Welcome back, Hardy.
A video package highlighting my favorite feud airs and we go right into the Ladder Match. WWE is wasting no time tonight!
Ladder Match
Winner Gets Custody Of Dominick
Eddie Guerrero Vs. Rey Mysterio
Eddie comes out playing the best heel in the business today. He sees Dominick with the social worker and he plays with his hair a bit and the kid, as always, looks like he's going to cry. I think he actually looks like that in real life, which if he does, it's pretty sad on more than one level. Rey's music hits to a mediocre pop. I expected more for the masked lucha. A lot more. Anyway, this should be good, very good. Rey exchanges word with his son and kisses him, and this match has what most lack today: emotion. Whether or not you like the story, it's got emotion. Cole is doing a great job of selling the angle too. Best commentating I think he's ever done, which is a big compliment coming from me seeing as how I don't have that many bad things to say about Cole. He's decent at what he does, in my opinion, and never really gets on my nerves like some other announcers. Anyway, Eddie goes out to Dominick and tries to one up Rey. That's one of the things I like about this one. Eddie and Rey play off each other so well and are able to tell a story. I literally think that if Rey and Eddie had to sell the fact that Rey borrowed a broom from Eddie and never gave it back and they had the broom with a social worker, Eddie & Rey could make it work and make it work better than the other stuff on TV. I said it once and I'll say it again: Rey and Eddie show more character and emotion in their eyes than the whole WWE Roster does in a week. I honestly hope the boys backstage are taking notes.
Anyhow, Rey and Eddie start it off by playing to the crowd and exchanging some words. Eddie eventually cheap shots Rey and takes control early on. He starts to work the back with some thrusts into the turnbuckle and then a vertical suplex. Mysterio comes with a semi-botched monkey flip that was kind of pathetic considering Rey has been doing that move for a while. Eddie ducks out of the ring and plays possum for Rey. As soon as Rey ducks out too, Eddie slams him hard into the steps and the ladder that is set up in the ramp. Action continues as Eddie sets up the ladder and goes up for it, but Rey springboard dropkicks him off. Eddie and Rey then start to fight over a second ladder. Eddie and Rey fight over the ladder until Eddie literally hurls the ladder at Rey. The two then fight it out some more before Rey finally hits a baseball slide onto the ladder into Eddie. Great spot, although you knew it was coming as soon as Eddie brought the second steel one into play. As Eddie arises, Rey jumps up and hits a huge senton to Latino Heat himself. Rey gets in the ring and starts to climb the ladder, but Eddie catches up to him on the other side. Eddie and Rey start to fight on the top for a while. A little longer than I expected. In most ladders, the guys fight on the top with two or three punches and do a spot, but Rey and Eddie wrote it out like a real story. Desperation. Eddie then went for a sunset flip, but botched it a little. I don't think I've ever seen Eddie involved with a ladder and him not do a sunset flip. Kind of weird that he botched it too, but then again, most of Eddie's other opponents are in the 200 range, not late 100s, so maybe Eddie had a hard time with the difference.
Eddie gets the ladder and starts to ram it onto Rey who turns limp like a rag doll. It works since Rey looks like a doll at some times in comparisons to the other workers. Rey's size will always be a hindrance, no matter how many other small guys make it big. Eddie finally gets that other ladder into the ring and Eddie chucks it at Rey. Rey collapses as Eddie sets up the ladders for a RVD Ladder Match deja vu. He sandwiches Rey in between two ladders and then hits his catapult somersault senton. Good spot, but once I've seen it in one match, it's tainted. Eddie then takes one of the ladders and sets it up going for the gold, or papers in this matter. Rey pushes the ladder off of him in the corner and makes a ramp from the corner to the other ladder. Rey starts to crawl on the ramp to the other one and when he gets there, he and Eddie start to battle again. Rey then gives a huge back body drop to Eddie onto the ladder ramp. Now that is one spot that will always stick out in my mind. I love the use of a ladder ramp like at Wrestlemania 21. You can do so much more with it. Rey gets up first of the two and goes up the ladder, but Eddie dropkicks him back down, and like most of the matches, it's been Eddie carrying the offense workload with Rey getting the underdog spots here and there. Not bad on anyone's part, just stating the obvious. Eddie sets up the ladder on the top rope and it looks like he is trying to whip Rey into it head first, but Rey starts to mount some offense. Eddie counters it though by lifting up Rey and slamming him ribs first into the ladder. Whoa, brutal spot. Reminded me of last match too.
Eddie starts to climb the ladder, but Dominick hops the rail and tries to push the ladder over. Of course, he's not strong enough and a surprised Eddie hops down and confronts him. Probably the funniest moment in television this year happened, and it kept me in stitches all night long. Eddie started screaming at Dominick for doing that and tops it off by screaming, "Give me a hug!" It's like some ghetto guy just yelling at his ho and then screaming, "Give me a hug, bitch!" It was hilarious to me. Maybe I'm easily amused. As Eddie spends his time with Dominick, Rey mounts his comeback. He sets up a ladder on the ropes and the two fight for the next phase. Eventually, Eddie tries to send Rey into it, but Rey counters it and then hits the 619 onto the ladder onto Eddie. He then drops the dime onto the ladder onto Eddie. Two very obvious spots that I didn't think would happen because I didn't think the story would allow Rey that much offense. Didn't make it any less of a great thing though. Rey then climbs the ladder, but Eddie comes up from underneath him and goes for the Electric Chair, but Rey reverses it into a powerbomb in a true "holy shit" fashion. Rey then starts to climb the ladder and gets to the briefcase, but Eddie kicks the ladder out from under him. Rey is now just dangling from the ladder and eventually drops as Eddie catches him with a power move of some sort. To be honest, I missed it, but the selling and the impact on the ring hit hard. Cole called it a spinebuster which could mean anything from a powerslam to a lariat these days. Eddie then positions the ladder right on top of Rey pinning him down as he climbs up. He taunts Rey from the top and Rey tries to wiggle out. He keeps trying. He keeps trying. Eventually, he gets out and knocks the ladder out and Eddie is now dangling. You can really tell that was spot gone awry. Rey then grabs the leg of Eddie and pulls him down, and Eddie starts to curse excessively. It may be because of the blown spot or the fact that in character, Eddie had it won. It's hard to tell with Eddie's character, but either way, it was good.
Rey starts to climb towards the ladder, but Eddie catches him and hits the Three Amigos to the legendary cruiser. The last of the three connects right onto the ladder and I really am wondering what is left at this point. It's been amazing thus far. Guerrero then goes to set up the ladder but Vicki runs down. Whoa, I really didn't think she would get involved in the match itself. As Eddie is on the top, he argues with his wife who then pushes him off. What the hell! Rey starts to climb the ladder, but Eddie gets close. Vicki holds him off though as Rey climbs his way to victory! Really good match here, guys.
Winner: Rey Mysterio
Star Wrestler: Eddie Guerrero
Not as good as you would think given their three former matches which were all great, but still pretty damn good. It had some dry points and some blown spots, but still, it beats out a lot from this match and you could make it a case for it being better than most other Ladder matches for the heat and the story-telling considering it is Eddie freakin' Guerrero. Some of the stuff they did like the Electric Chair counter and the ramp bump were just amazing, and the story they intertwined it fit. You don't see many stories in ladder matches. Actually, you just don't. It's all spots. This wasn't. Now, in all of their other great matches, I can't really put emphasis on one person over the other, but in this one, Eddie Guerrero made it work. Face it, Rey is small. Working with a ladder that he can barely carry doesn't do much for the match, but Eddie made it work. He sold to Rey well, carried him through the spots, and he accentuated all the best things each of them had. Eddie cemented why he is the best worker bar none in pro wrestling today.
After the match, Eddie throws a tantrum in the ring and Rey comes in to nail Eddie with the briefcase. It seems like overkill to me at times, but then it seems to fit. I'm torn on this. I would have been content to see Eddie just whine there. Anyway, please, go out of your way to download this match. It's fan-freaking-tastic.
Todd Grisham is backstage with Chris Jericho who just hypes up the upcoming feud. Do I really have to go into details? It's a Jericho promo, of course it's golden.
Eugene Invitational
No Time Limit
Kurt Angle Vs. Eugene
Ha! As Angle comes out, he poses for his fireworks which don't go off. He then goes down more and then they go off. Goldberg style moment indeed. Angle goes straight for Eugene to punish him like he said he would on Heat. He's in power with some nice brawling and clotheslines. Eugene gets the upper hand for a bit by hitting the spinebuster (Rock) and then going for the People's Elbow. As he bounces off the ropes, he is met with a vicious clothesline. Angle is really laying into Eugene tonight! I dig the vicious Angle a lot more, because he's just turning everything up a notch and it seems like everything he does has a reason instead of working the neck/back with everything and then locking in an ankle submission. Eugene starts to receive some huge boos like last year's Summerslam, but that was in bizarre Canada; this is D.C. What the hell? Could it be time for a retarded heel? Me thinks so! Angle comes at Eugene with some German Suplexes and then contorts Eugene up with his leg. Eugene starts to power out, to the huge dismay of the crowd, but Angle meets him with another German Suplex. Angle is super over here. Eugene starts to "Hulk up" and the crowd boos heavily, but then he hits the Rock Bottom which the crowd pops for. What the hell is up with this crowd? Angle recovers and goes for the Angle Slam, but Eugene counters and hits the Stone Cold Stunner for another pop. Eugene then mocks, in a priceless pose, Angle by throwing down his "straps" (that don't exist) and going for the Ankle Lock. Eugene locks on the Ankle Lock, but Kurt Angle rolls through and sends Eugene right into the turnbuckle. Angle capitalizes and hits the Angle Slam and then locks in the Ankle Lock and forces Eugene to tap out.
Winner: Kurt Angle
Star Wrestler: Kurt Angle
I was torn, because Eugene was really good in this match and was able to get the crowd back into him after booing him so heavily. But Angle's control of the match was impressive and I really enjoy vicious Angle more than anything. Ever since his feud with Booker T, he's stepped it up a notch this year in terms of playing a character more in the ring. Anyway, good, fun match that put over Angle.
After the match, Angle grabs a chair and I think he's going to lay into Eugene, but instead, he props it up in the middle of the ring, stands on it, and makes Chimmel award him the gold medal again. Need I repeat why Angle got star wrestler?
Enter obligatory diva car wash. Now, I'm a guy with an active sex life, but this is wrestling, not the playboy channel. I hate this shit. They play it off like it's the president's limo, yet Vince is in it and he says, "Why not?" They then show a bumper sticker that says, "McMahon for President." God knows that will be up on Shopzone right after the event. Thank God for Taker's music hitting.
Undertaker Vs. Randy Orton
This was kind of abrupt. For a major feud, there was no video package, no commentating leading, no nothing. Just "Bong!" Orton's music hits and he comes out to his pyro and normal stance. Crowd seems to be digging him. Good, I hope this match will give Orton that spark he had back in mid-04. Undertaker and Orton square off in the ring, bouncing side to side, and as the bell rings they continue. Orton then ducks out of the ring and the crowd shits all over him. Literally. Orton then comes back into the ring and circles Taker. The two lock up in the ring and Taker pushes him straight back on his ass. Orton then gets up and walks right into a slap by Taker. Taker owns Orton right now like a lease. Pretty straight forward so far. Orton eventually weasels his way into a side headlock onto Taker, but Taker picks him up and throws him into the ropes and hits a nice shoulder takedown. Taker locks in a side headlock for his own measure, and Orton throws him into the ring and Taker connects again with a shoulder takedown. Orton eventually hits a hip toss and clothesline onto Taker, but Taker hits a Big Boot straight to Orton. Taker then locks a keylock on Orton while driving his knees to Orton's arm to tide the flow. He's working the arm in setting up Old School as well as putting in a nice rest hold. Good stuff.
Taker breaks the hold and goes for the shoulder thrusts to work the arm some more, but Orton grabs the ropes. Taker yanks him off and goes for Old School, but Orton counters with a nice arm drag. I'm thinking about it, but I don't think I have ever seen someone counter Old School with a move that's not just pushing the ropes causing Taker to fall. I could be wrong, but even if I am, it's rare and great spot for Orton. Orton gets the advantage and starts to stiff Taker, but Taker shows why he is an amazing brawler (he was better as Big Evil) by throwing Orton into the corner and stiffing him. Taker whips Orton into the other corner and runs at him but gets hit by Orton's boot. So Taker gives him a nice boot for measure. Pretty decent so far.
Orton whips Taker into the ropes, but Taker bounces off with his flying lariat and takes down the Legend Killer. Taker gets Orton in the corner again and gives him some more chops. Taker then runs straight at Orton with a knee thrust and continues the beat down and Orton looks like he is spent. Taker then throws Orton into the other corner and Taker charges at him, but Orton ducks and Taker hits the top rope hard. Orton then follows up with nice, quick DDT to take him out. Orton starts to work the leg then and the match is starting to pick up. Orton starts to throw Taker's leg around the post a lot and as Taker tries to get up, he can't, so Orton pinpoints it more. Orton then grapevines his leg as Taker tries to get a submission of his own to no avail. Orton gets a cheap shot and then follows it up with a knee to the sternum to keep Taker grounded a bit. Taker then does his "on the knees brawling" spot, which Orton takes like a man, but then bounces off the ropes with a nice kick to the head. I really doubted Orton being in charge of the match, but it is working. Taker tries to mount some offense here, but Orton follows with a huge powerslam. Orton then locks in the Figure Four as the crowd gets behind Taker, but Taker reverses it until Orton breaks the hold. Orton gets up to duck Taker's offense and then hits a nice chop block. This is a lot better than I expected.
Orton then gets Taker's leg on the ropes and does the sit-down leg shtick, but Taker kicks Orton clean out of the ring! Damn! Taker then gets an opening and slams Orton to the steps outside. He then lays Orton on the apron and does his leg drop, but it looks like it hurt him a lot. Taker then hits Old School onto Orton as his knee buckles and Taker is doing a great job of selling the knee with his moves. Taker then catches Orton with his Downward Sprial variation. This is a good back and forth match at this point. Taker in charge for a minute, Orton in charge for two, Taker in charge for three, et cetera. Taker hits snake eyes to Orton, but Orton then peels off the ropes and slams him down. Orton then goes for the RKO, but Taker pushes him away. Taker then goes for the Tombstone, but Orton and him go through the countering motions before Orton hits the back of the knee to Taker's head. Orton lays some chops onto Taker and then hits a huge crossbody to the Deadman, but Taker rolls through and picks up Orton for a Chokeslam. All of the sudden a fan jumps into the ring and tries to square off with Taker as security comes and grabs him. What the hell? Taker then goes to lift up Orton, but Orton counters and hits the RKO and picks up the win!
Winner: Randy Orton
Star Wrestler: Randy Orton
I had huge doubts about Orton in this match, but he proved that he can still hang. It looks like we have Orton from 2004 (pre-September) back again. Thank god he's heel too because face Orton just doesn't work.
After the match, Orton goes up to the fan that jumped in the ring and peels off make-up and it's Bob Orton! Wow! Didn't expect that. I literally thought it was just some fan. Taker then chases the two of them off.
There has not been a bad match yet folks; that goes to show you how good of a card this is. They do a celebrity watch of the crowd and then go right into the video package for Jericho and Cena.
WWE Championship
John Cena (c) Vs. Chris Jericho
Chris Jericho comes out after Eric Bischoff wishes him luck and then John Cena comes out to the biggest pop of the night. In the ring, the two exchange harsh looks while circling each other. They then draw in and have a heated close up encounter. They back off again and then come into lock up. Jericho comes out on top in the early match up with a shoulder takedown, but then Cena turns it up against Jericho with some chops and such. Jericho then hits a nice vertical suplex and takes control early on. Jericho keeps the control with a nice spinning heel kick but as he goes for his springboard dropkick, Cena ducks and Jericho flies out to the ring. Jericho holds his leg like he is hurt, but Cena completely ignores this opening. He gets Jericho back in the ring as the commentators bicker. Cena then runs straight into a stiff dropkick by Jericho. I could feel that one at home. Action continues with more suplexes and corner fighting. That's pretty much this entire match is so far. Jericho hits another dropkick to Cena's head and then locks in a rear chin lock. Cena powers out and goes to whip Jericho, but Jericho counters and throws Cena right out. Jericho then follows it with some nice offense on the outside including choking Jericho out with the wires. Back inside, Jericho charges at Cena and punts him square in the ribs. Jericho is the only one making this passable. Jericho and Cena fight on the top and Jericho hits the Superplex to Cena and starts holding his leg again like he hurt again. Twice he's done that, and twice Cena didn't do shit with it. This is really not as good as I thought it would be.
Jericho and Cena slug it out in the middle as Cena makes his comeback which is a back body drop and a flying shoulder block, which Jericho blocks. God damn Cena, learn some offense. Jericho hits the bulldog onto Cena and then goes for the lionsault, but Cena moves out of the way and Jericho lands on his feet and starts holding his leg again. For the third freaking time, Jericho hands Cena an opening on a silver platter and for the third freaking time, Cena ignores it. God! Work, Cena, work! Cena then sends Jericho out of the ring, and as Jericho gets back in, Cena climbs to the top and goes for the leg drop. That exposed the business way too much. Jericho took about twenty minutes to get through the ropes as Cena positioned himself so he could jump right. That's why moves like that are criticized. It's a little different if you're out on the mat, but when you're walking or standing, why the hell just wait for someone to hit you?
Action continues as Cena goes for the FU, but Jericho counters with something. I miss it because my computer hiccupped. Damn. Jericho then starts to work the back (since Cena is obviously not going to work anything) with dropkicks and kidney shots and the crowd is going ape shit at this point. Purely ape shit. This is the worst match of the night so far and the crowd is pissing their pants. Shows you how good of a crowd it is! Jericho is now choking Cena out in the middle of the ring and I haven't heard a crowd this hot in WWE in a long time. Jericho powers out and goes to take down Cena, but Cena hits a clothesline for the delight of the crowd. They start to brawl and then Cena starts his typical offense. He hits some clotheslines, then his modified hip toss, and then the 5 Knuckle Shuffle, but as Cena goes for the finish, Jericho locks in the Walls of Jericho and Cena looks like he is really going to tap! After an eternity, Cena reaches the ropes though. Damn, I really thought he was going to. Oh well, that's just the mark in me. In my opinion, Cena equals Rock's overness. Rock is miles better, but Cena is on the same level as far as the crowd is concerned. Jericho gets on top and Cena counters and tries to get a FU off the top which would have been a great finish, but Jericho counters with a back suplex off the top. Cena then kicks out of the pin and hits the FU for the win.
Winner: John Cena
Star Wrestler: Chris Jericho
The match would have been miles better if Cena had followed Jericho's openings more. Jericho made this match enjoyable and without his good heel tendencies, he wouldn't have had the crowd pissing themselves. The match itself was mediocre up till the end which was only cool because of the crowd. Overall, mediocre match and it's that instead of bad because of Raw's most valuable wrestler, Chris Jericho.
WWE then shows a video highlighting the next match and I'm not excited for this one at all.
WWE World Heavyweight Championship
No Holds Barred
Batista (c) Vs. John Bradshaw Layfield
JBL comes out to the 100 dollar bills again. Yes, again. How many times are they going to do that? Anyway, Batista comes out, but as his pyro hits, JBL attacks him. The two start to go at it and I have a feeling this is going to be like JBL-Cena from Judgment Day. They get into the crowd and JBL grabs a chair, but as JBL goes to swat him with it, Batista slams him right through the barrier! It was a little muddy, but still a great opening spot. JBL then doesn't really sell the barrier spot and slams Batista into the steel post. JBL takes control and they keep showing replay after replay of all these spots. Ok. We get the point. It's brutal! JBL keeps the control in the ring as he grabs a leather belt and starts to whip Batista with it as he screams, "Come on, Animal. No holds barred!" That was pretty decent. The rest wasn't. He chokes Batista with the belt and I start to get deja vu from Vengeance in the cell. Batista fires back by hitting some shoulder thrusts to JBL, and action continues. JBL hits the clothesline from hell way too soon and Batista kicks out of the pin. JBL then throws the steps inside and goes to give Batista his own move on the steps, but Batista back body drops him off. Batista then catches JBL with a spinebuster and then hits the Batista Bomb. Before he pins him, the crowd goes ape shit asking for one more, so Batista gives them one more as he slams him onto the steps to pick up the win. What a freakin' stinker! It was like a horrible combination of JBL-Cena from Judgment Day and Triple H-Batista from Vengeance. It was way too short, nothing was sold, and it had two good spots which would have been miles better had they worked towards it. What the hell? I expected this to be the worst match of the night, but this bad?
Winner: Batista
Star Wrestler: Neither
Shame on both. Double shame.
After that horrid excuse for a main event, WWE shows a video hyping up the icon vs. legend match next!
Hulk Hogan Vs. Shawn Michaels
HBK comes out to a weird pop and then kills time as the prima donna awaits his music. The music hits and the crowd erupts! Literally erupts. As he comes out, fireworks go off and the USA flag drops. Why? Now, I am just as patriotic as the next guy, but HBK is American too and has never done anything to suggest otherwise. This isn't USA vs. Iraq or some shit, this is Hogan vs. HBK. The flag was definite overkill. Hogan goes after HBK in the opening, but HBK ducks out and Hogan plays to the crowd some more. HBK gets back in and they circle each other as the bell goes off. Hogan charges at HBK again, but again, HBK ducks out of the way. The two then play to the crowd a bit like Rock and Hogan at Wrestlemania X8. Hopefully this will be miles better. They finally lock up in the ring, and, of course, Hogan overpowers Michaels. The crowd then pops like James Walsh for a complimentary mention (and that was not one) and they are digging this match immensely. HBK continues to dance around Hogan before eventually locking up and being thrown back again. This happens one more time and then the "You screwed Bret!" chants start up immensely. HBK then plays a great heel by playing to the crowd and making them hate him more by locking on an arm wrench followed by a side headlock. Hogan tries to power out and HBK whips him. Hogan bounces off and knocks HBK straight out followed by him throwing his bandana right at the icon. Crowd is making the match so far. Nothing special, but I'm not a Hogan mark. If you are, you would have a heart attack. I already had my mark heart attack during the ladder match.
HBK takes control when he comes back in with some nice chops that Hogan actually sells well. Hogan counters and whips HBK into the corner, and HBK ends up on the top rope. Yeah, like that would happen in a real fight. Hogan runs over and punts HBK in the gut three times and HBK sells it pretty well. HBK then lands on the top rope crotch first and then gets shaken by Hogan. It's a nice spot, but the more you see it, the less it works to you personally. HBK then pulls his control back with a thumb to the eye followed by some chops. Hogan throws HBK out and doesn't do anything. He just stands there. Old age will make you that winded unless your name is Terry Funk or Ric Flair. Action continues the same way it's going and it's pretty much just HBK in control with chops. Pathetic. They eventually get to the corner and HBK turns up the heel meter by slapping Hogan square in the face twice. Hogan whips him into the corner, and HBK does the "flip over/land on the apron" spot and slaps Hogan square in the face for the third time. Hogan doesn't stand for it, nor would he in real life, and nails HBK on the apron. They start to brawl outside and Hogan eventually catches HBK and sends him sternum first into the steel post. Hogan then grabs HBK on his shoulder and goes for the post again, but HBK counters and sends Hogan head first into it. HBK then starts to work the opening he received (unlike Cena earlier). HBK is really laying into Hogan's head, and each time Hogan pushes him off, HBK bounces right back at him. This is exactly what I wanted to see, folks. HBK is working a part on Hogan and playing the heel. Hogan is now busted open and HBK then locks in the sleeper hold to squeeze the blood out. Heel HBK is on in full force and I'm digging it!
Of course, Hogan starts to wane and eventually gets out, but they get the crowd into it immensely and even play to the brutality of HBK by showing his arm soaked in the blood of Hogan thanks to squeezing out the blood. This part, generic as it is, is actually getting me into the match. Me! The anti-Hogan mark. This is why HBK is one of the best ever. He can take an unworkable man like Hogan and turn it up and make an actual match, as opposed to a spot fest match with Rock at WM X8. Hogan eventually powers out with a back suplex and both men are out. When they arise, HBK hits the forearm and starts the "Heartbreak Komeback" with the nip up. The crowd is laying into him though. HBK goes for the elbow drop, but Hogan rolls out of the way and starts to Hulk up. As Hogan goes for the Big Boot, HBK hits the flying forearm and they are both out of it. HBK then nips up again and goes for the elbow drop again, but stops and locks in the Sharpshooter! I really hoped Hart would come at this point, but he never did. I really just wanted Hart to come out to the ring as a ref and then screw HBK over. It was improbable, but hey, you got to have dreams and as much as you can it never would happened, there's always that thought in the back of your mind. A new ref pops up, who isn't Hart, and Hogan reaches the ropes of course. HBK has to break and the crowd kind of lulls at this point. Hogan then kicks HBK back and HBK knocks the ref out. Two refs out now! Hogan hobbles around a bit and HBK answers with a low blow. HBK then goes for a chair and gets ready to wail on HBK. Is he going to? Is he? Is he? He does! Hogan walks straight into the smack. Ouch. HBK then goes to the top and goes for the elbow drop and it connects. HBK starts to tune up the band and they have everything on the table for the fans. Balls to the wall. HBK goes for Sweet Chin Music and it connects, but Hogan kicks out of the cover! Hogan then Hulks Up and starts his normal routine, but instead of the normal selling after the classic Hogan big boot, Shawn Michaels does the most over-the-top selling perhaps in WWE history (much like the rest of the match). Words cannot describe it and how great it made this match. After it was over, Hogan gave the most bewildered look before dropping the leg to win the match! Hogan actually beat Michaels, who needed the heel heat! Oh, well. Still a great match thanks to Shawn Michaels.
Winner: Hulk Hogan
Star Wrestler: Shawn Michaels
Let's face it. Hulk Hogan is a flash wrestler. Give him a shtick and he can electrify the crowd, of course, but in a match, he's nothing except a mark out moment. He has no real bearing. Twenty years from now, fans are going to look back on his matches and shit on them. HBK, however, actually works and saying this was the one-man show here is the understatement of the decade. He gives meaning to what he does, and in this match, he gave meaning each and every move & look and gave Hogan his best match of the decade. Who else would you give the star wrestler accolade to except the one who made the unworkable worker work and bumped like a fish out of water for him?
After the match, Hogan and HBK shake hands and totally kill everything they just did in the ring. So WWE had an amazingly booked opening with Benoit winning the title and a horribly booked finish with HBK turning face. Nice.
Summerslam, all in all, was a great event, and is probably the best event since Summerslam 2002 (it narrowly beats out Survivor Series 2002). The opening was an amazing way to get the crowd into it and set the tone for the rest of the evening. The crowd itself was the best one of the past couple of years (except for the Eugene problem). There was only one truly bad match, one match that was average, and every other match was great, including the Hogan-HBK match. Overall, Summerslam 2005 was a great way to show that WWE still has what it takes to draw, sell, perform, entertain, and electrify more than anyone today.
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