I must say that lately I have been completely enthralled with WWE as a whole, especially RAW, ever since the Draft Lottery came into play. The July 11th edition of RAW has taken the cake. It was truly a historical night. Any notions of mediocrity in WWE have surely been swept away with what was a groundbreaking night on many levels.
To start off the night, Carlito comes to the ring ready to interview Shawn Michaels for Carlito's Cabana. To his chagrin, Y2J makes his entrance, trying to take the spotlight and interview Shawn Michaels during the Highlight Reel. Y2J and Carlito exchange half funny, half corny remarks and wrestling's own David Spade, Jericho, gets pretty annoying while repeating the same lines several times and failing to introduce to Shawn Michaels. Just when things seem to be going nowhere, Roddy Piper's music hits and he shows up. Piper says that Jericho claiming to be the original talk show host in wrestling is crap, as there can only be one original, and it's Roddy Piper! Seeing Carlito, Jericho, and Piper together in the ring was just great. It's almost like it HAD to happen, like Fantasy Warfare such as The Rock vs. Hogan. I expected to see this a few years down the road instead, but it was a nice treat. It didn't go as far as I would have liked it to go though. I would have liked more confrontation. It was interesting to note that while Jericho was being the bigger jerk, he definitely got his fair share of pops. By the end Piper promises that HBK will be on Piper's Pit later tonight, because sooner or later, everyone has to pay the Piper!
Chris Masters vs. Tajiri
This match is the result of Tajiri being a part of the Master Lock challenge two weeks ago on RAW. While this match didn't have "legendary" written all over it, it did keep me entertained. Tajiri's quick style accompanied by his world famous kicks were an interesting contrast to Masters' strong and stiff style. For being so different, they put on a pretty good match. Masters was able to win with the Master Lock of course. I am slowly but surely taking an interest in Masters. His gimmick isn't over the top and his powerhouse style seems to have more purpose, unlike other overly muscular wrestlers. In the end the match wasn't anything to write home about but certainly wasn't a total waste of air time either.
Winner: Chris Masters
Next up there is a chillingly bizarre segment involving Edge, Lita, and Snitsky. Basically Edge says that he knows that Snitsky has a foot fetish, and if he helps Edge defeat Kane later on Snitsky can "have a go" at Lita's feet. Gene seems pretty thrilled with the idea and is breathing pretty heavily, and grossly I might add. Edge offers him a "taste" but Snitsky looks like he's going to bite off Lita's toe so Edge intervenes by stopping him with his hand. Edge's hand makes contact with Gene's tongue and Edge frantically tries to wipe off Gene's saliva. Over all it was very awkward and extremely scary. If anyone out there got a boner because of that segment they need to get help.
Carlito (c) vs. Shelton Benjamin (Intercontinental Title Match)
This was easily the best match of the night. There were several great spots and false finishes. It was damn near Pay-Per-View quality. Carlito superplexed Benjamin at one point and tried to bring the title into the ring. The ref got it away from him but Carlito ended up landing a low blow on Benjamin while the ref was turned away. Carlito went to get the title on the outside but Benjamin stopped him. Carlito was on the outside of the ring on the apron and he and Benjamin repeatedly tried to suplex eachother.Benjamin was pushed away and tried to superkick Carlito but Carlito caught his foot! Then Shelton hit a Dragon Whip which sent Carlito down to the floor! The back and forth exchange between the two was great. I became a bigger Carlito fan because of this match. Carlito kept up with Benjamin's pace and the two seemed to equally dominate eachother throughout the match. Unfortunately, the ending wasn't that fantastic. The ref counted Carlito out to 8 and Carlito was about to get in, but instead opted to take his title and leave. Shelton won by DQ.
Winner by DQ: Shelton Benjamin
John Cena makes his way to the ring and talks about how Bischoff is being a stiff and catering to Y2-Cheap. He imitates Bischoff and Bischoff finally makes his way to the ring. Eric talks to Cena for a while and Y2J comes out. Eventually they make an agreement on a match at SummerSlam. After Jericho leaves Cena and Bischoff have more words, with Cena telling Bischoff not to talk to him in that tone again, or he'll go "Dirty Jersey" on his ass. Cena ends up giving Bischoff an F-U, shades of SmackDown with Teddy Long. It was a decent little segment, definitely getting the fans pumped up for the Jericho/Cena feud and SummerSlam.
Diva Search...blah blah blah, something something something, those girls are retarded. One of them does a monkey flip on Christy Hemme, another is disguised in a mustache and rolls around in paint, and another pretends to give Hebner a dance but low blows him for disqualifying her in last week's competition. The idiot, Alexis, is eliminated. She's the one that thinks playing a heel for a crowd full of non-internet visiting fans will go over well. The chicks are hot, but I felt that it was a big waste of time considering WWE could have been furthering the "Kerwin White" angle or displaying the never seen tag team champions, Hurricane and Rosey.
Kurt Angle Invitational - Matt Striker vs. Kurt Angle
This was a pretty good segment/match. WWE really capitalized on Striker making national news. For those who haven't heard, Matt Striker was fired from his teaching job in New York because he lied to get off of work and go wrestle on the Zero One tour. Striker showed up with an apple with a work in it on his tights. He claimed to be "Matt Martel" from New York (accent and all) but Angle recognized him as being the hometown hero in Philadelphia from a previous Kurt Angle Invitational segment. The match itself was quick of course, with a standard 3 minute time limit, but very good nonetheless. Matt Striker used his brains in this one, sending Angle out to the ring, hoping he would get a count out or stay down for the remainder of the 3 minutes. Angle came back in and Striker got all over him in the corner with punches and kicks. Angle countered and went for an Angle Slam but Striker got out of it and hit a low blow on Angle. Striker had it in the bag, with literally seconds left to go but Angle snuck around and got the Ankle Lock on him. With 1 second left on the clock, Striker tapped out. With the performance that Striker gave I wouldn't be surprised if WWE signed him right on the spot. Good stuff.
Winner: Kurt Angle
Backstage Todd Grisham asked Kane for his thoughts on his match with Edge later on and Kane simply laughed his retarded laugh over and over again. Then the camera cuts to Edge and Lita on their way to the stage when someone who LOOKS like Matt Hardy attacks Edge! The camera man has fallen and this is all taped at a distance as the person takes it to Edge. Nobody is sure if it's really Matt or just an impostor and the camera cuts away as this person is forced out of the building. This is great.
A promo airs for a supposed future WWE character called "Boogeyman". It seems pretty scary and looks pretty interesting. I am anxious to see more in depth promos arise as the weeks go on.
Kane vs. Edge (Feces) w/ Lita (Whore)
Next up Edge and Kane face eachtoher in the ring. Kane gets Edge down and heads out of the ring to chokeslam Lita but Snitsky attacks him. Soon after, Matt Hardy (it is him!) comes out and attacks Edge. Johnny Ace escorts Edge and Lita to the back. Matt gets on the mic and says that the bastard Edge will pay and so will Lita, the whore. He tells WWE to kiss his ass and is then tackled down by Police Officers who arrest him. This was an absolute historical segment. Nothing else has ever caused this much controversy and this much confusion. Is it all real? Is it all fake? Vince McMahon may have finally used the internet to his advantage, and it could never pay off so well as it did in this situation. If this is truly all a work, it is a fully formed masterpiece. Hardy still claims that this is all real on his personal website, so we shall see. But either way, this is an incredible moment in wrestling history. WWE has acknowledged the power of the internet wrestling community and has fooled the IWC as well. NO ONE was able to to pull sources or newsleaks and expose this extensive storyline which was played off camera. This just adds onto the recent confusion with the Blue Meanie/JBL situation and WWE.com featuring negotiations with Brock Lesnar. If WWE can effectively keep secrets now and even use the internet against itself, what will this mean for the future of all wrestling news on the internet?
Winner: Kane via DQ because of Snitsky
Finally, as if the night hadn't been crazy enough, we have Piper's Pit with Shawn Michaels! Michaels comes out in all white clothing (symbolism?). Piper simply wants to know one thing, "Why did you take the cheap way out and blindside Hogan?" Michaels goes into a long speech about always wanting to go the extra mile to satisfy the fans, even if it meant sacrificing himself and breaking his back and so on. Piper says that he didn't answer his question and that Michaels is an arrogant coward. Michaels starts to leave the ring but hits the Sweet Chin Music on Piper! He leaves with the same melancholy look on his face that he had after leaving Hogan on the mat last week. Pretty interesting stuff. During the segment Piper told HBK that he had come to him asking for advice about getting into the main event, but HBK had dissappointed Piper last week by taking the coward's way out. He seemed to be legitimately upset that HBK had attacked Hogan, and not half poking fun at the situation and being sarcastic like he usually is. It was a great way to cap off the night. I hope to see more of Piper soon.
In the end it was truly a night to remember. Like I said, since the Draft Lottery started, I have been hooked on WWE. The storylines are truly engaging and I am left wanting more every week, and tonight was no different. WWE delivered with the Carlito/Jericho/Piper segment and planted seeds during the night with Jericho/Cena, HBK/Hogan, and much more. I have never seen anything like what happened with Matt Hardy nor have I heard of such a thing. I am absolutely astounded by how WWE pulled this off, considering every time Triple H farts it gets reported on the internet. We all still know nothing about the situation in the grand scheme of things, but I know enough to be truly intrigued. I can't wait to see this play out in the future. In a way, Matt sold out his fans by using his personal website to trick them, but it's damn genius either way. WWE has been on a definite roll lately, especially with RAW, and I have never wanted to see the next show more than I do now. I usually have an average to good attitude towards WWE's product in recent years, so saying this means a lot. Hopefully this is the beginning of a new era of greatness in wrestling.
-Mike Steele
mikesteele@thewrestlingvoice.com
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