SmackDown! this week started off from Chicago, Illinois with a recap of Cena’s celebration, the origin of the Championship Series, and the ending to the Rey Mysterio vs. John Bradshaw Layfield match. After this, we are welcomed to the daunting image of the Dead Man as the SmackDown! introduction illuminates the screen. Ok, I have to say it. The introduction to SmackDown! is amazing, but the song is just so horrible. It doesn’t fit SmackDown! at all or the introduction. I wish WWE would switch back to the rap song or the Marilyn Manson song. You know when the clean cut rock boy begs for Manson and rap, there’s a problem.
Our wonderful commentators Michael Cole and Tazz start off the show by talking about the continuation of the Championship Series and the special championship presentation for John Cena tonight.
Soon after, John Bradshaw Layfield’s music hits and the stretch limo rolls out to boos of the arena. JBL and Orlando Jordon pop out of the limo as we get ready to see Jordon in action. JBL sits down to join the guys for some commentary as the Booker T makes his way out to a humongous pop.
Orlando Jordon vs. Booker T
JBL is making some very nice, heel commentary as Booker T climbs into the ring to the delight of the crowd. He then locks eyes with the former WWE Champion, and Orlando Jordon catches the opportunity and sneaks in with a few cheap shots. Jordon continues the onslaught by ramming Booker’s head into the turnbuckle followed by more shots to the head that take down Booker. Jordon then hangs him up on the ropes and begins to choke him out. Jordon is playing the typical heel as of right now. Nothing special, nothing fancy. Mostly just textbook stuff as it is. He then lifts up Jordon and delivers an Irish Whip into a Back Elbow. He then does an old fashioned Jab-Shuffle Combination, which just makes him seem like a cheap Road Dogg impersonator to me. Jordon then poses to the disdain of the crowd. Still textbook, but rather good to liven up the pace and get the dead crowd into the match. Booker T finally recovers and starts to mount a huge offense. He hits his usual Chop/Punch combination followed by an Irish Whip into a huge Lariat. He then hits his Sidestep Kick followed by another Irish Whip into a Flying Scissors Kick. The Bashams then hit the ring to beat down the former United States champion. Orlando Jordon is then disqualified and the end of this match finally comes for one bored fan.
Winner: Booker T
Star Wrestler: Orlando Jordon
The match was rather dull, but Jordon really made it a little better with his heel antics. He was just textbook heel, and while it was nothing special, it was nice to note as Jordon has made excellent strides since the summer. If Jordon keeps it up, I am sure that he would be one of the top heels in WWE by this time next year.
After almost a minute of the three on one action, the music of the 7’5, 500 pound monster hits and Big Show comes waddling down the ramp. The three heels then bolt out of the ring while Big Show and Booker T stand tall. JBL exits the commentary table and begins to shout at his troops to get back in the ring. It’s pretty interesting to see Booker and Show on the same side, considering the fact that next week, these two will lock up.
Suddenly, our favorite playa comes out and announces that this match isn’t over. It’s only just beginning. Hmm, interesting. He then orders a handicap match and we go right into it.
Big Show & Booker T vs. Basham Brothers & Orlando Jordon
As the match starts off, JBL delivers some hilarious commentary. He comments on the fact that Martin Luther King, Junior must be rolling in his grave because of what Teddy Long is doing. It was incredible racist, but I did get a little chuckle out of it so it was dully noted in my notebook. Danny Basham climbs on the apron to start, but the impatient Show says that isn’t fast enough as he grabs him by the head and yanks him in. He then takes Danny down with a Head Butt, and follows it up by giving another one to the newly entered Doug Basham. Show then grabs Jordon’s throat and goes for a Chokeslam, pretty early in the game I might add too. Luckily, Doug runs into side tackle Big Show and interrupt the Chokeslam. Show is then hung up on the ropes, and the Bashams institute some good double team work and Clothesline Show out of the ring. Pretty cool. I always enjoy seeing someone the size of Show bouncing out of the ring. Color me insane. With a side of quirky too, I guess. Right before Show bounced out, Booker made the blind tag and he gets in the ring. The Bashams then run at him, but Booker has them scouted. He delivers a Back Body Drop to Doug, a Clothesline to Danny, and then Doug, back up from his first stiff fall, and receives some punches and kicks. Danny Basham then comes from behind and takes it too Booker’s back, and it looks like Booker will finally be out of the control. The tag team equation is moving fast tonight, I wonder how much longer this match is going to last. Danny then delivers an Irish Whip and sets up Booker for a Clothesline, but Booker ducks it and comes back with a Modified Superkick to knock him out of the ring. Booker then begins to take it to Doug in the ring. The camera then pans out to show Show spearing Danny on the outside. Yes, you read that right. Big Show speared Danny Basham. Wow. The image of 500 pounds colliding into someone like Danny Basham is just indescribable, and it will never leave my head. Never.
Let me just say that despite all of this, the crowd is completely dead. Literally. I feel like one of the vendors was passing out some nicely laced Kool-Aid. It’s ridiculous. I can understand them not caring about the whole match, but Show colliding into Danny like that? That delivers at least a small clap. Oh, well. Chicago blows. Moving on, Booker takes down Doug again with a side kick, and then he goes for the Spinarooni. Wow, even that got a pitiful reaction. What a crowd. Raw had an incredibly hot crowd, and SmackDown! gets an incredibly dull one. Goody. Booker then kicks Doug in the gut, bounces off the ropes, and delivers an old-fashioned Scissors Kick. He climbs on top of the former OVW Champ and picks up the win.
Winners: Big Show & Booker T
Star Wrestler: Big Show
Seriously guys, five hundred pounds of muscle and fat in the form of a bald giant colliding into a squirmy little tag team wrestler. Nothing beats that. Nothing. If that doesn’t warrant a "Star Wrestler" award from "Squared Circle Reviews," what the hell does?
After the match, Booker T and Big Show stand tall in the ring. Big Show locks eyes and mouths off to JBL from the ring to the commentary tables. On top of it, JBL begins to mouth of to his cabinet. I think it’s rather interesting how WWE has handled the Big Show-Booker T situation. Usually, they would tease some animosity between the two going into next week or something like that. This week though, Big Show and Booker T seem to be on the same page going into next week. I’m very interested to see how the two co-exist in the ring next Thursday. Cole & Tazz then inform us that we will be having a "Diva Match" between Torrie Wilson and Dawn Marie next. Oh, joy. Oh, rapture. I can barely contain my excitement. Too bad there is a commercial coming up.
Commercial break number one.
Torrie Wilson vs. Dawn Marie
As the two women come out to put me to sleep, they show us a recap of last week’s Bikini match. Thanks, WWE. Like I could forget something that meaningful. Anyway, the match starts off with Dawn kicking Torrie in the gut as she goes for a lock-up. She then throws the blond bombshell to the mat and begins to attack her. Man, is she attacking her. Vicious, my god. I have never seen Dawn this vicious in WWE. It’s a nice turn of events. Dawn continues to work on Torrie’s head before sling-shooting her into the turnbuckle. Dawn then decides to choke Torrie on the ropes. The ref breaks it up, but she goes right back to it. If you haven’t seen the match, you should. Dawn Marie is more vicious in this match than most heels in the WWE. It’s amazing. Dawn Irish Whips Torrie into the ropes and ducks down to take Torrie, but Torrie counters with a huge Sunset Flip. They then follow up with a textbook Sunset Flip counter series. Dawn finally breaks out and she shoves Torrie face first into her knee. Man, she is vicious, and despite what others must say, the psychology of the match is great too. Dawn is pissed because Torrie won the bikini contest last week, so she decides to rob her of what let her beat her. Wow. So good from a match that I expected to take a nap through. Dawn then hits a modified X-Factor to make me even more surprised at this match’s quality. Dawn then hits some straight jabs and a small "Torrie" chant breaks out. Miniscule even. Yes, for those wondering, the crowd is still unbelievably dead. Dawn then Irish Whips Torrie into the turnbuckle, Torrie leap frogs over Dawn, and rolls her up. Dawn kicks out, but Torrie doesn’t miss a beat and nails a Swinging Neckbreaker for the win.
Winner: Torrie Wilson
Star Wrestler: Dawn Marie
I have to say, I am rather impressed with how Torrie is becoming more comfortable in the ring. Like I said about Christy, if she sticks with the training, she can become a very good wrestler. With that said though, the star of the match was Dawn Marie. The viciousness and hatred she showed in her character and eyes should be mirrored by ever heel in WWE. Dawn Marie literally gets a standing ovation from this lowly reviewer.
It’s kind of sad that the Diva’s match is ten times better than the opening matches which contained what some people call the best in WWE now. Just a little. Oh, no. I’m lying. It’s pitiful. Anyway, after Torrie makes her exit, the commentators reveal to us that the debut of Carlito’s Cabana will be next and Rey Mysterio will be his guest. I have been on the edge of my seat since hearing that this was going to debut tonight, so of course, I feel out of my seat when hearing it was coming next! Of course though, they follow this up with a dumb commercial break. Stupid endorsements.
Commercial break number two.
As we return, we get to see another recap of the Wrestlemania Revenge Tour, this time from the SmackDown! side. So, I could barely care on Raw when they did this, so three days later, I naturally have developed a mysterious desire to watch some footage of an event that has no bearing on anything I’m watching tonight.
Ah, screw the crap recaps. It’s time for Carlito’s Cabana! YAY! I have to say, this is literally one of the best ideas SmackDown! has had in a long time and will definitely establish Carlito as a bigger player in the grand scheme of things. The set is nice too, a lot more elaborate than others, but still cool with the lounge chairs and apples. Someone’s going to be doing a lot of spitting. Carlito gets on the mike and talks about how Piper’s Pit and Highlight Reel aren’t cool, but Carlito’s Cabana? That’s cool! Damn skippy! Carlito goes on in his rich thick accent that I love so much about how he promised the show and it is finally here. Chicago may have Oprah, but he won’t give out free cares. He does have apples. Yes, he does. For some painfully obvious reasons, I hope. He then says that if you disrespect him, he will spit in your face. A little cliche for my favorite Caribbean wrestler, but my interest is still in it. He then talks about how Chicago isn’t cool, and when the crowd starts to boo, he bounces back with what made him the smooth promo man he is. He tells them to relax as he isn’t picking on them, but the Cubs haven’t won the World Series in like a hundred years. They are the lovable losers. Like his first guest who lost big last week against JBL: Rey Mysterio! Wow, now that was a good way to put down Chicago and his guest at the same time. Two birds with one stone, guys. Two birds. One stone. Nice. At this point, the crowd has literally become brought back from the dead as they deliver some nice heat to Carlito followed by a huge pop for one half of the WWE Tag Team Champions! Carlito starts off the little Rey-Rey part of the Cabana by saying how he was sorry for what happened last week. He could have been WWE Champion! Then Carlito decides to show the recap from last week. Nice little heel turnaround there. Seriously, if he stays healthy and on his game, Carlito will be on of the top stars in a few years. They show the recap and then Carlito brings up that Eddie running his first WWE title shot is definitely not cool. Side note: Rey-Rey’s first WWE Title shot was Halloween 2002 against Brock Lesnar on SmackDown! Damn rookies have no sense of history.
Anyway, Rey-Rey finally gets on the mike. Kind of interesting to see WWE put faith in Rey-Rey’s promo skills. In the past, they have definitely been lackluster. Hopefully this one will be a little better. Rey-Rey starts off by saying that what Eddie did was definitely not cool and yes, he is furious. As a matter of fact, he hasn’t spoken to Eddie since last week and Carlito isn’t the only one who has tried to stir trouble. However, what they don’t understand is that he and Eddie are familia. He’s like his big brother. They’re like blood, ese. Ese? Oh, poor Rey-Rey. Why the need to copy your partner? Come up with your own style, please. Rey-Rey then says they will work out and he will get another chance and will become WWE Champion. Rey-Rey, I love you, but come on, you have to get Vince pretty drunk to get him to agree to that. I love you, you’re one of my favorites of all time, but let’s be realistic. The poofy hair, injury-prone host next to you is probably going to be WWE Champion before you. Sorry. Carlito fires back with perhaps one of the best TV moments of all time. He starts to sing: "The sun will come out...tomorrow!" I’m sorry, seeing a big Caribbean wrestler singing a classic giddy girl song is just amazing. WWE pay attention. Next week, have Big Show sing "I Feel Pretty" from West Side Story. Just imagine the highlights. Anyway, Carlito says that Rey-Rey is too positive and things are just not right. Eddie is obviously jealous and things for Rey-Rey are just going to get worse. Class, what’s that called? Foreshadowing, that’s right! You get a cookie. Enjoy!
Suddenly, some weird music hits and two people roll out a huge red carpet to the ring. Two guys in huge fur coats and a girl in a short skirt pop out and daunt out to the ring. This must be the new team MNM I have heard about. Nice. Too bad I only know Melina and Nitro, and the other’s guy name is a complete blank to me. Anyway, Melina approaches the ring and for some props one leg up on the apron. Then she props the other one! What the hell! She is doing splits on the apron to enter the ring! What in the world? Screw Stacy from Raw, Melina now has the official "Squared Circle Review" award for sexiest entrance. Hands down. No argument? Good. Great.
MNM pops in the ring and Carlito is still freaking out because of Melina’s entrance. Rightfully so! Carlito then says that they are definitely cool as he is the first to say it. For some reason, I’m really enjoying this debut too. The guys are playing the cocky, arrogant role really well and they haven’t even said a word! Anyway, Melina gets on the mike and says thanks, and they are cool. Ok, little dull to start Please get better. Please. Please. Please. They say they are MNM. Melina, Nitro, and Mercury. Mercury! That’s it. How could I forget that one? Anyway, she says they are the "it" team on the "it" scene. Still dull, damn it. Melina then says that they are from a real city, Los Angeles, where all their friends are: Ashton, Paris, and a bunch of other movie star references. So these guys are supposed to be like movie stars? Eh, liking them less. Melina then says that they are easily going to be tag champs, especially with the Luchas on the out. So they decided o debut on SmackDown! and win the titles. A humongous "Eddie" chant busts out. It’s a shame they are turning Eddie heel and not Rey-Rey. Rey-Rey is an amazing face, but at this point, Eddie is way more over than Rey-Rey.
Rey-Rey grabs the mike and says that Melina has dropped a lot of names, but she needs to drop a breath mint. See, I told you they were sub-par. I love him in the ring, and he has definitely gotten better on the mike, but still not to the level where I would give him the spotlight like being a guest on an interview segment. That’s just me though. Melina then says that they wanted a match, but his partner isn’t here, so they are going to have to settle for this. Without missing a beat, Nitro and Mercury go right after Rey-Rey. The former WWE Cruiserweight Champion hits some good defense at first, but the numbers finally catch up to him. They then hit a huge double team move which looked like a Double DDT. It was really nice looking, and I’d love to see them hit it again. Looked really stiff too. All the while, another huge "Eddie" chant broke out and Carlito lounged back in his chair. Yes, Carlito lounged in his chair and this is why he will be one of the big stars of the future! It was a great debut overall, despite the lackluster mike performance by Rey-Rey. Of course, WWE has to silence my growing interest in the SmackDown! that started with two horrible matches with another commercial break. Damn.
Commercial break number three.
Back from the break, we see JBL with his cabinet and he is drilling them big time. He talks about how he pays them to listen. He said to divide and conquer Big Show and Booker T, not quit like they did. He then blames them for him losing the belt at Wrestlemania. Sorry, buddy. I think you have the WWE creative team to thank for that. Anyway, he then says that every great man is known by the company they keep, and the company he keeps is rotten. Pretty effective line by my standards. He then tells them that they need to shape up or they will be cut loose. It’s nice that the cabinet hasn’t turned on him. I really expected it after the Booker T-Big Show match, but it still has not happened. It’s pretty good though because by the time they do turn against JBL, it will have a lot more meaning. After the little tirade, JBL storms off and bumps into a delivery boy who has a package for John Cena. JBL pays off the delivery boy for the package, which he apparently thinks is the new WWE belt. As he stares at it contemplating what to do, the cabinet approaches and Orlando Jordon says this is great because they can destroy it like they did Cena’s US belt. JBL fires back by screaming "We?! There is no we!" He ends the segment by saying he won’t allow this to be messed up so he will do it himself. Obviously there will be a mess up, people. Kind of obvious at this point.
We then switch camera view and we see Rey-Rey in the back getting checked out by the doctor, and suddenly Eddie busts in screaming and asking what happened. Eddie wants to avenge what MNM did to Rey-Rey, but Rey-Rey keeps telling him to calm down and leave him alone. Rey-Rey then asks where Eddie was and Eddie retorts with the fact that his car broke down. This is a pretty good promo so far. Rey-Rey’s skill on the mike is very weak, but the chemistry between the two is off the charts and elevates Rey-Rey to a level of skill on the mike matched only by a few. Rey-Rey then brings up the fact that Eddie cost him his shot for the title. This is really emotional. Seriously. Eddie then says that he is going to make it up to Rey-Rey by winning the Championship Series and WWE Championship and dedicate it all to Rey-Rey. Rey-Rey isn’t really pleased, it seems. Why doesn’t Eddie just make it up to him by winning and giving Rey-Rey a shot? Oh, yeah. Cause Eddie is jealous. Duh! Anyway, after two great segments, we find out that the championship presentation is next and we go off to another commercial break.
Commercial beak number four.
As the camera fades into the Chicago arena, the music of the WWE Champion hits and the crowd erupts in pops and delivers a standing ovation to the rookie champion. The commentators then reveal that Cena’s debut CD will be out soon and he is on top of the world. This is kind of reminding me of back in the fall when Triple H’s book and movie all came out and he was riding high. It’s a great way to get the champ over more, whether it is as a face or heel. Cena is getting some very huge pops in this arena. I really don’t buy into the argument that Cena isn’t as over as back in 2003. This reaction is amazing for the new champ. Side note: does anyone else think that John Cena looks and acts a little bit like Mark Walberg? I’m dead serious. Cena screams out "The champ is here!" or "Make some noise!" and I feel like I am watching Rock Star or something. Great movie, by the way. Crap, this is wrestling not the cinema.
Anyway, Cena starts off with his normal lines and then says that they are doing big in the Windy City, and it is only fitting that they unveil the new title belt for the city that is going to hold Wrestlemania 22 in a year. I refuse to mark out for a Wrestlemania location being revealed unless it is someplace two hours or less away from where I live. That’s right, WWE. I’m on protest! Cena then starts talking about how everyone is gunning for him from Angle to Booker to Eddie. Man, the way he put it. It’s literally like watching the new Muhammed Ali. I mean, I know he does the whole "The champ is here!" shtick like Ali, but just how he described how people are gunning for him just like the boxing champ. It’s pretty effective though. The crowd just eats him up. As soon as he mentions that JBL is gunning for him, the crowd erupts in jeers. Cena calms him down though and says JBL is going through a little bit of a crisis right now. He talks about how JBL stole something very personal. Actually, something that has a lot of importance in what he is trying to do here tonight. Well, I don’t know what kind of championship presentations he has been at before, but the belt is merely a formality. Anyway, he says he needs JBL to bring it out so he calls out JBL to bring it out here. If he doesn’t that’s ok, but then Cena will just have to back there and get it. Wow, this is an excellent Cena promo. I would go as far as saying that this is one of his best of all times.
JBL’s music hits and he strolls out without the box. He then signals for something backstage and two guys bring out a garbage can and the box from earlier. JBL asks if Cena is missing something. He then says that Cena is missing something else too. He then takes off his jacket and reveals that he is wearing the old WWE Title belt which has Cena’s name in it. Cena apparently just left it hanging around in his locker room. I’m sorry, but to assume that WWE will let someone leave their multi-thousand dollar title belt just hang around is just plain dumb. Cena fires back by saying that JBL just has a knack for stealing things tonight, but after tonight, that won’t be the title belt anymore. JBL then starts to lose his cool like the great heel he is by screaming that he knows Cena’s plans to present the new belt, but he can’t allow that. He held this belt longer than anyone in the past decade and he won’t allow him to desecrate, destroy, or take down his legacy and title. He then says that he is going to destroy this "bling-bling" belt and he is going to destroy his title reign soon as well. As obvious as that is, that is probably the first time I have heard JBL insult Cena with that term. Funny, yet interesting.
Anyway, as JBL opens the box, he’s freaking out a little. Cena tells him to hold up as that isn’t the new belt, just a present for him. He says he knows he is going through hard times. The whole wrestling god thing didn’t pan out for him because he got his butt whipped at Wrestlemania. See, this is the Cena that I know will be the new and better Rock. Cena then talks about how he was wondering what you get the man who has everything, so he went to the best slaughter house in Chicago and got JBL the one thing he doesn’t have. Guts! Nice. Very nice, Cena. The creative team must have been on writing steroids tonight. As JBL fumbles around through the guts in the package, he freaks out and stumbles around trying to get the guts off of him. Cena then exits the ring and walks over to JBL and dumps the guts all over him. A little anti-climatic here, but still nice to see JBL covered in cow guts. Cena then hops in the ring and says he can’t believe JBL is doing this on Chicago’s time. JBL talks about being a champ who makes an impact, but Cena is one. I would have to agree with that so far with the belt and the guts and last week’s beat down. Cena then tells JBL that just this once, he needs to shut his mouth and open his eyes to see the new belt. Wow, the belt isn’t as bad as I thought it would be. The WWE logo spinning is pretty cool, but then again, it’s kind of dumb that when Cena poses with it, the logo is on its side. Still pretty cool, but I like the old one better and the US belt Cena style better too. Cena then screams to take a look because our time is now as the crowd pops and WWE fades to yet another commercial break.
Commercial break number five.
Heidenreich vs. Jobber
Heidenreich’s music hits and he comes out playing the crazy gimmick all right, I guess. There is some guy in the ring, and for some reason, they never reveal his name and after searching for thirty minutes online, I couldn’t find his name either. How odd is that? Anyway, the match starts off with the two locking up. Heidenreich powers the jobber into the corner, but the jobber actually counters with some rights. Heidenreich powers back by hitting an Irish Whip into the other turnbuckle. Heidenreich charges in to it, but the jobber again ducks out and delivers some more punches. Heidenreich pushes him out and then delivers a huge Big Boot. He then starts screaming about something involving friends. Little weird, but hey it’s Heidenreich. And what’s a little Heidenreich match without some boredom and oh, there it is! Heidenreich then hits some straight punches and follows up with a couple of blatant chokes. He then asks if the jobber is his friend. What the hell is going on? Did I miss something? Oh well, a small "Boring!" chant breaks out as Heidenreich Irish Whips the jobber into the corner. The jobber bounces off and walks right into a Heidenreich counter. Something just popped in my head. What the hell is Heidenreich’s finishing move? Seriously, I don’t even remember. I feel pathetic for both me as I should know this and for Heidenreich for not making it memorable. The jobber is then crouched in the corner, and Heidenreich hits another straight Big Boot to his face. The jobber gets up and Heidenreich nails a Swinging Sidewalk Slam. That’s it! That’s his finishing move. The cheap Abyss imitation. Anyway, Heidenreich goes for the cover and picks up the win.
Winner: Heidenreich
Star Wrestler: None
This was just a boring match, and to be honest, Heidenreich screaming "Are you my friend?" doesn’t deserve it, and if I don’t even know your name, how can I give you this award? Exactly.
After the match, Heidenreich drags the jobber to the corner and props him up and yells at him to stay. He then pulls out his poem and says that he wishes everyone was his friend, and he reads a poem about breaking wind in the Windy City. Wait, breaking wind...Windy City...I GET IT! Oh, wait, that’s not that funny. He then says the he loves the feel of when he farts, because it warms his heart. Wow, that was funny too. Please note. April 19th, Doug Nunnally sarcasm. Thank god this is over.
We then cut to the back and see Booker T with his wife Sharmell. She says that Booker is going to take down Show next week and become the new champion. Booker then poses for the camera for some pictures as Sharmell says that is the look of the new WWE Champion. Suddenly, we hear Kurt Angle ask what the hell that was. He says that he is the man on the roll. He is the man that beat Shawn Michaels. I have a feeling Angle won’t let go of the fact that he beat Shawn Michaels at least until Summerslam. He then says that he is going to beat Guerrero, then win the Triple Threat in two weeks, and then he will regain the WWE Title. Angle then delivers a nicely placed line as he says that Booker T calls himself the former 5-time WCW Champ, but he will be the current 5-time WWE Champ, something Booker hasn’t done once! Oh, burn! Booker starts to freak out, but Sharmell calms him down followed by Angle asking if Booker needs his woman to fight for him. Sharmell then says that he did make Shawn Michaels tap, but if she remembers correctly, Guerrero was the one who had Angle’s number last year at Wrestlemania. I think that’s a little invalid considering the fact that Angle recovered by beating Guerrero at Summerslam. Sharmell then does the little Booker gimmick in front of Angle. Pretty funny and good segment. WWE definitely needs to use this chick a lot more. Naturally, we go right into another damn commercial break.
Commercial break number six.
As we come back, the music of our Cruiserweight Champion Paul London hits and he comes to the ring with a huge head bandage. We see a recap of the vicious beat down that Chavo Guerrero and Billy Kidman gave him last week. After the recap, London is in the ring with a mike sand he begins by saying that he needed eighteen staples to close the wound in his head. He says it’s ok though, because he still beat Kidman. Yeah, who cares about losing pints of blood? The body replenishes it anyway, no big deal! He then says that Chavo attacked him and the doctors won’t let him wrestle tonight. That’s ok though, because he’s not looking to wrestle, he’s looking to fight! Yeah, baby! A Cruiserweight who can deliver on the match. We now have two of them. Sweet! London calls out Chavo pops out of the backstage area to his very unique music. Chavo says how all that blood loss must have affected his memory because he obviously forgot how he stole his title. Forgot how he never beat Chavo one on one. Gee, I wonder whose going to challenge for the title at Judgment Day? Could it be Funaki? Chavo continues on about how it was just all business because the title is his business. Chavo then goes as far as to say that he is the best Cruiserweight of all time. Not that big of an overstatement, he definitely makes my top ten, but everyone knows that the best Cruiserweight of all time is Rey Mysterio. Or at least anyone with a brain.
Anyway, Chavo says that the second London is medically cleared. The second he is one hundred percent, he is going to take the title back. Not yet though, because like his family he is a man of honor. Excuse me while I chuckle. Heh-ha! Yeah, my chuckle is weird. Anyway, Chavo says he won’t fight an injured man. Suddenly, Kidman rushes the ring and beats down Kidman. Oh, so Chavo won’t attack him, but he’ll obviously plan for someone else too. So that’s what Guerrero honor means. I get it now! London fires back as he hits a Back Body Drop. Chavo then enters the ring, but is welcomed to a huge dropkick. London then hits a huge DDT on Kidman and drags him to the corner. Kidman is lifeless on the mat as London climbs to the top. He points at Chavo and then hits a huge 450 Splash. Afterwards, the two mouth off. Wow, nice little segment and I really hope that this feud really goes somewhere unlike other Cruiserweight feuds. I’m really interested to see how Kidman will play into the equation and if London will get anyone to help him out.
Before the commercial break, we see the Raw Rebound as they recap the whole Triple H Pedigree obsession followed by the Batista interview and Triple H’s challenge to JR. Pretty good, but I for one am not looking to a main event that is only going to put over Triple H. Kind of dumb. After the pointless recap, we find out that Kurt Angle vs. Eddie Guerrero is next and of course, the screen goes black and those stupid little endorsements come up. Potty break!
Commercial break number seven.
Before the main event begins, of course we have to see the exact same recap that we saw at the beginning of the show. I’m sorry; the match was only mentioned seven times in the show. I must have forgotten, thanks WWE!
Kurt Angle vs. Eddie Guerrero
Kurt Angle comes out to the ring, but for some reason, his pyro doesn’t go off. Angle must be all about the business tonight! Eddie Guerrero then comes out in another great Low Rider and to the biggest pop of the night. Yes, even bigger than John Cena! Shortly after Eddie gets in the ring, the 4th Eddie chant of the night begins. The two former WWE Champions start to pace each other around the ring before locking up in the center of the ring. Angle backs Eddie into the ropes and the ref orders a break, and for some reason, there is a clean break. Kind of nice that Angle doesn’t blow his cool in the first part of the match. That and the no pyro and dedicated walk to the ring really emphasizes how much this match means to him. The two legends then go into a Greco-Roman Knuckle-lock in the middle of the ring. Eddie then goes into a Fireman’s Carry and slaps on a Front Headlock followed by a Key Lock. Angle counters with a huge Head Scissors. Eddie then powers out and gets a back grapple. Angle pops out and bounces off the ropes and hits a Shoulder Takedown. They get into another mess in the corner, and there is another clean break again. I really like how the match is really showing how much this means to each wrestler. Angle needs to re-deem himself from last year and Guerrero needs to re-deem himself in the eyes of his best friend.
After the clean break, a huge "Angle sucks!" chant breaks out. I can’t believe how this show has gotten so much better. In the beginning, the crowd looked like someone had passed out huge bottles of Ritalin, but by now, it is sugar rush time! It doesn’t just apply to them either; I am definitely really into the show by this point. Eddie and Angle then lock up in the middle, and Angle slaps on a Hammerlock. Angle starts to work the arm a little, but Eddie powers and counters out. Eddie then decides to one up Angle by working on his left arm a well. He slaps on Armbar, but Angle counters it by rolling up Eddie. I’ve got to say that not only is the match good at this point, but the commentary is definitely top notch. Kudos, Tazz & Cole. Kudos. After Eddie kicks out, the two lock up again. As of right now, the match is a nice back and forth feeling out style, it’s a nice little introduction to something that is probably going to become an instant classic. Eddie takes control from the lock up and slaps on a Side Headlock. Angle then pushes Eddie into the ropes, and Eddie bounces back with a Shoulder Takedown. Eddie then bounces off to the ropes into Angle, up again, and Angle goes for a Hip Toss, but Eddie counters that into one of his own. The crowd is just eating this up at this point, and so am I. This is a great way to open the match, back and forth with the occasional one-up-man-ship.
After Eddie gets the better of Angle, Angle rolls out of the ring to take a small time out. Eddie doesn’t run after him and Angle doesn’t do anything but take a breather. Seriously, WWE has booked this match perfectly so far as the dedication each man has to winning the match is amazing. Neither of them is taking any big breaks, whether it is by disagreeing with the ref or flying to the outside. After a minute, Angle gets back in the ring and the two lock up for the umpteenth time this match. This time, Angle gets the Side Headlock and gets sent into the ropes by Eddie. Like last time, Angle responds with a Shoulder Takedown. Looks like Angle is trying to show Eddie that he is better at this game then he is. Angle then spins across the ring and flies into Eddie who hits a massive Hip Toss. Looks like Angle isn’t better at this. Eddie starts to then work the left arm some more. Angle powers out and gets a Back Grapple on Latino Heat. Eddie counters and then hits the 3 Amigos. Eddie then goes to the top for the first real risk of the match. He goes for the Frog Splash, but Angle has it scouted, of course, and rolls out of the way, but Eddie must have seen it coming and rolls through that as well. Like I said earlier, both of them know what this match means and both aren’t taking any risks in this match. After the roll through, we cut what hopefully will be the last commercial break. Damn breaks interrupting the match!
Commercial break number eight.
Coming back, we see Angle going to town on Eddie with some European Uppercuts. Angle is definitely in control and is definitely wailing on Eddie. He is very vicious at this point. He then starts to stand on the heads and ribs of Eddie. Very vicious. Angle then hits a Front Suplex on Eddie, goes for a cover, but Eddie kicks out. Angle then slaps on a Reverse Bear Hug on Eddie. Looks like Angle is going to be working the midsection again. I do love him working that area. It just makes so much sense. All of his offense focuses on it, and it wears down the opponent enough so that they can’t even counter of the Ankle Lock. I love it! Anyway, Guerrero tries to power out of the Bear Hug. He runs away, but Angle pulls him back and throws a few key punches on his back. Guerrero then bounces into the ropes and runs straight into a Belly to Belly Suplex. Angle then picks up Eddie to go for the Angle Slam, but Eddie counters it straight into a Hurricarana. Wow. Now, that was really good.
Eddie goes for the quick cover, but Angle tosses him off like a rag doll. After being tossed off, Eddie hits the ref in the back of the head, knocking him out. Ed then sees that the ref is out and we see that look on his face as he sees his opening. Good stuff! Eddie drops out of the ring and grabs a chair. He pops into the ring to take Angle out, but the ref comes to. He then tosses the chair at Angle, in the "Lie, Cheat, Steal" tradition, and pretends that Angle was about to hit him. Angle has it scouted big time and tosses it back to Eddie. Angle forgot though, Eddie is the master of lying. Eddie tosses the chair back without missing a beat and lies down to pretend he was hit. Angle freaks out and goes to get rid of the evidence. Angle then walks back, but the ref sees it and then notices the chair on the outside and begins to drill Kurt Angle. God damn this is hilarious! Eddie then sneaks up and rolls up Eddie into a School Boy. Angle gets out and the action continues.
Eddie follows up an Irish Whip by hitting a Flying Head Scissors on Angle. Angle gets up though, and hits a German Suplex on Eddie. He goes for the cover, but Eddie kicks out. Angle then picks up Eddie and hits a massive Rib Breaker on Angle. I’m telling you, Angle knows exactly what he is doing. Eddie is then covered, but gets out of it by placing his foot on the ropes. Kurt Angle, still not losing his cool, slaps on some Body Scissors and continues to work on the midsection of Eddie. He then takes his arm and starts to drill it into Eddie’s face. Eddie looks like he is starting to wear out, but not for long as he starts to power out and finally gets out. I still love how this match is going. Angle in control, then Eddie. Angle in control for longer, Eddie in control for longer. It’s just a great match.
After Eddie escapes the submission, he Irish Whips Angle into the corner and runs in, but Angle ducks and Eddie huts the turnbuckle. Angle then slips in and hits a huge German Suplex on the Eddie still stunned. He goes for the cover again, but Eddie kicks out quickly. Angle starts to hit some more Uppercuts on one half of the WWE Tag Team Championship. He then lifts him up and puts him on the top. He climbs up and goes for a Super Angle Slam, but Eddie has the Angle Slam scouted out for the second time though as he pushes Angle off. He then goes for the Frog Splash, but Angle again has that scouted and lifts his knees. With the velocity of London’s 450 from earlier, Eddie lands full on Angle’s knees, thus hurting the midsection more. Wow. The midsection working continues. I love it. Angle goes for the cover, but Eddie weasels out by putting his foot on the ropes. After this, we go to another commercial break. God damn it, I thought the last one was the last one. Oh well, this better be the last one.
Commercial break number nine.
Back from the final break (thank God), Angle hits a Scoop Slam and then goes for two covers, but Eddie kicks out both times. Uh-oh, is Angle starting to lose his cool? Nice, he’s not! Angle then slaps on the Reverse Bear Hug again and continues the midsection wear down. Eddie stands up, and Angle quickly breaks the hold to delivers some huge blows to Eddie’s back. Angle then goes for the Angle Slam, but Eddie counters it into a Tornado DDT. Well, it looks like Angle won’t be using the Angle Slam tonight, and Eddie won’t be using the Frog Splash. Makes perfect sense though. This is their fourth match together, and by now, they have each other’s key moves completely scouted from every which way. Very nice, in my mind.
It seems like Eddie is finally going to get back in control as they start to trade blows and Latino Heat hits a big blow followed by a huge Latino Shuffle. Eddie then goes for the 3 Amigos again, but the last one is countered by Angle into an Angle Slam. Wow! This is an amazing match, people. Angle goes for the cover, but Eddie kicks out. Angle sits there playing possum though as Eddie gets up, and Angle grabs his ankle and takes him down with the Ankle Lock. It’s game time now! Eddie counters it into a Small Package though. Angle breaks it off and gets sent into the corner. He bounces off and Eddie fires back with a School Boy, followed by another kick out. Angle was in control for a good ten minutes, and now, it is Latino Heat’s time!
As Eddie gets up, Angle slaps on the Back Grapple and goes right for the German Suplex. He keeps the lock on and rolls through. As they get up, Eddie tries desperately to get out of it, but the dedication of Angle keeps it locked and he hits another. This follows up one more time and Angle finally releases a battered down Eddie. Angle is now looking poised for the victory. He lifts Eddie up for the 4th Angle Slam of the match, but for the 3rd time that night, Eddie has it scouted and counters it into an Arm Drag. Eddie then keeps his momentum by hitting the 3 Amigos on Angle. At this point, the crowd must literally be on fire. Seriously, someone must have poured gasoline all over them and flicked a cigarette at them, it’s insane! Eddie climbs to the top then and goes for the Grog Splash and for the first time tonight, it connects! He goes for the cover, but Angle kicks at the last second! As Eddie gets up frustrated, Angle grabs the ankle and takes him down again. Again, I repeat: it’s game time now! Yeah, baby!
Angle holds on tight as Eddie does everything but cry "Bloody murder!" to get out. Eddie even bounces back and pushes Angle back, but still Angle keeps it locked in. Eddie finally rolls through and pulls his tights down. He rolls up Angle and almost gets him, but Angle gets out of it and locks the Ankle Lock right on again. Eddie tries to get out again, but again, Angle is just determined again. Finally, Eddie spins out and sends Angle hurdling into the ref. Eddie is definitely hurt at this point, and this match is one key word: AMAZING!
Yes, I said it. Amazing! This and the Triple Threat match on Raw from two weeks ago are now officially the best TV matches of 2005 thus far. Officially!
Angle then finally loses his cool and goes out to grab a chair. Rey-Rey sees this from the back and runs out and hits the West Coast Pop on Angle to help out his friend. Rey-Rey then grabs the chair away from Angle and chases the Olympic Hero away. Guerrero finally gets up and sees Rey-Rey and freaks out! He basically thinks that Mysterio is going to hit him as payback for last week. Rey-Rey tries to calm him down, but Angle gets in the ring and sends Rey into Eddie. Angle takes advantage of the opportunity and gets the cover for the win and to get one step closer to regaining his WWE Championship!
Winner: Kurt Angle
Star Wrestler: Kurt Angle & Eddie Guerrero
Wow. That is all that describes this match. Just wow. From start to finish, this was a classic match showing the determination of each wrestler and just how much meant to each wrestler. Amazing. To be honest, I would go as far as to say that this match is better than all of their previous ones. It was just simply amazing. There is no star wrestler in this match, only two legends giving all they can for the fans.
Wow.
As the show ends, we see Rey-Rey and Guerrero arguing as Angle stands tall.
SmackDown! this week started off the worst possible way. Despite the intriguing alliance between Booker and Show that happened, the first fifteen minutes were enough to make me switch the channel and look for a re-run of Friends. However, WWE bounced back with an amazing Diva match from two unlikely people, amazing promos, and a classic main event. Sure, the show had its low points, but SmackDown! is definitely taking steps in the right direction. The one thing that makes this show great though: Guerrero-Angle IV. Just amazing. Way to go, SmackDown! 'Till Raw on the 18th, this is "Squared Circle Reviews" signing off and hoping you enjoy what you watch.
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